how can i get my child not to be scared to be alone so he can sleep in his room by himself he is 4?

Question

He has to have an adult in or with him while going to sleep. How can i ease his mind i already put a big black light in is room so he can see with it not being so bright and i let him watch tv b4 going to sleep but he still wants to sleep with me or his grandma and i ask him why and he said he is scared to be in there and when i make him he truely gets frighten its not an act or an excuss. And his little brother is in there with him too so i do not know i tried explaing to him that there is nothing in there and he understands that monsters are pretend and not real so i know that is not it. He just says he is scared of the dark
any advice would be greatly appreciated

Answer 1

Put those glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling, get him a nightlight, give him a "special" blanket to cover up with and get him a stuffed animal to sleep with. Those things should help him to see that his room isn't that scary and that he doesn't need mom or dad in with him. The glow in the dark stars are really cool to a 4 year old and the nightlight would give him a little light so he's not laying in the dark. Give him a "special" blanket like one he picked out at the store or one grandma or someone made for him.

Answer 2

I read over the other answers and they all are giving you good, solid advice. At the age of four, a child is usually going through a stage of developing an independence from his/her caretakers. But this can be scary to a child. It's possible that his being afraid of the dark is actually his way of saying that he's afraid of being on his own. You can treat the symptoms, so to speak, by taking away the darkness of the room with any sort of nightlite. To help with the root of the problem, keep talking with him. Set up a bedtime routine. Read a book together - one chapter every night. Sing a song or play a favorite song. The one suggestion that I would emphasis is to not just try to solve this situation in one night. Give both of you time to adjust. Start out with doing the routine and then sit at the bottom of his bed until he falls asleep. Do that for a couple nights until he seems at ease with the change. Then switch to doing the nighttime routine and sit in a chair until he falls asleep. After a few more nights, do the routine and then stand by the door. Slowly work your way to the point that you can do the nighttime routine and then leave with both of you being at ease. This gradual way of changing the situation allows your son to know that you are there for him, you care about his feelings, but you believe that he's old enough to gain a bit of independence from you. And even though it may seem like he'll never break this habit, believe me, they do grow out of it. My daughter was the same way. She's a teen now and hardly lets me into her room. Just hang in there. It will get better.

Answer 3

Try putting him to bed before it gets dark out, that way he well be a sleep by then. Does he still take naps during the day. If he does try this. Put a shade in his window, the kind that darkens the room. Then each day you lower the shade a little bit at a time , this will start making the room dark, once he get use to that then you can lower it all the way so the room is dark. That might help. Try it and see.

Answer 4

Are you married/ living with a significant other? A lot of the time, children perceive a lack of love between parents (whether it is justified or not), and this insecurity sometimes comes out at bedtime in the form of being scared of the dark. If you are fortunate enough to have a spouse or significant other who helps care for your child, set aside time (even 5-10 minutes) when the child sees the two of you interact in a loving way, as this will foster a sense of security that will help him rest better.

Answer 5

When my cousins son said he was scared of monsters my cousin made a monster repellant (she said she saw it on tv or read it somewhere) She just took a can of hairspray and put a piece of construction paper on it and decorated it. She drew a monster on it and circled it in red and put an x through it. Then before bed they would spray the closet and under the bed. She would leave the can on the dresser so it was always close by. (Eventually she changed to a spritz bottle of water) but either way he believed that it was keeping his room safe. Now he doesnt need his monster repellant anymore.

Answer 6

You need to tell him that he is a big boy now and that grown-up do not sleep with their children. If he gets out of bed, put him back and repeat it. If he comes into your bed take him back to his bed. If he has a nightlight on and his brother is in the room with him, he is not afraid of the dark. He just wants attention. If he truly is afraid of the dark, the leave the light on all night.

Answer 7

Not many animals have children that sleep apart from the adults. In very few cultures do human children sleep apart from adults. In the past, no children slept apart from adults.

The big question is why in our civilized society are we trying to get children to sleep apart from us?

Is it because we have the economic needs but we are not connected emotionally to the needs of children?

Is it because we want sexual convenience?

Is it because our work demands are incompatible with our family demands and we prioritize our work demands?

I put a bed for my kids next to my bed. Then they each got separate beds or mattresses in my room. My son moved out when he was in middle school at age 12. My daughter is 8 and she is not yet ready to move out although she did try to.

Answer 8

You are just going to have to break him of the habit, since he has done it for so long he knows that you will give in. Try some soft music, or put a rocker or chair in his room and sit in it while he falls asleep in his bed, tell him that you will sit there until he goes to sleep. Get one of those aquarium lights. Leave his door open with the hall light on.

Answer 9

Is it dark when he sleeps with you? If so, he is more scared of sleeping alone than he is of the dark. Four is such a cute age. You can try doing things gradually, such as letting him sleep in your room, but not with you for a while. Then moving him to his room. You can also try telling him you will stay in his room for 30 minutes then gradually cutting this back.

He will eventually outgrow this. We all have to put up with different things with kids. They all seem to grow up OK in the end though, don't they?

Answer 10

so buy a bedside lamp and let him leave it on, I was scared of the dark too when I was a kid. Thats what my parents did for me, it really helped me get used to be by myself and after a while my parents would turn the light off after i fell asleep. but they would leave a night light on so if i woke up i wouldn't be scared. It worked for me, and I'm not scared of the dark no more : ) lol