I'm 23 and my fiance is almost 25. He asked me to marry him two years ago and we've been together for five years. We never started to plan the wedding because we were financially strapped. Well, now we have the means to have a wedding and he doesn't want to talk about it. I try to talk to him about what he wants to do and everything and he won't answer me. If I keep trying to talk to him, he says I'm bugging him. I don't know what to do. I know that I am ready to settle down, get married and have kids, but I'm not sure that he's ready yet. If he's not ready though, why would he have asked me?
2006-09-21 07:16:41 · 11 answers · asked by sundragonjess 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Do you think he has changed his mind? that is the question you have to ask him. Or he is just not ready yet? may be it is other things on his mind, at the present. Or you could say I am going to check on a wedding planner, so you have any thing special, that you want me to ask her? see what reaction you get from that. Some men's mind needs a bit of jugging, to get them on the right track.Or get one of those big bride book, and see if he has any reaction.
2006-09-21 07:27:30 · answer #1 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may not be getting his attention. If you are 'together' for five years are you doing all the stuff a married couple does? If so, you might consider withholding some of the 'favors' you provide. When you don't have the 'means' it's easy to dream. Now that you have the means and two years have passed his reality may not be matching those dreams. The two of you may want to reevaluate your situation. If both of you do not want the same thing it may be a good time to separate, at least for a while.
2006-09-21 14:31:47 · answer #2 · answered by milessumner 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He promised to marry you
now he does not want too
did he know you wouldn't marry him right away when he asked?
i say, if you are living together, move out.
if he is not interested in the commitment you are - let him go
maybe he just thinks he can keep status quo and appease you
did he buy you a nice ring?
if not, would he do that now?
i went with a guy for years, and we were engaged for years but he always had excuses, financial, all kinds, and after 9 years he left me for a girl less 1/2 my age, and his too, within months they were married and she was having a baby!!!
this is very common experience
either he wants to marry you or not.
if not - move on - get going - don't listen to rationalizations & lies
2006-09-21 14:26:09 · answer #3 · answered by Suzie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he doesn't want to marry you. I think you need to sit him down and ask him what HE wants. Tell him to be honest. Also tell him not to worry about hurting your feelings
Then be ready to tell him what YOU want. And if the two don't match, perhaps you need to separate for a while. Believe me, if he marries you just to make you happy your marriage will be troubled, and eventually will end in divorce.
I married my wife to make HER happy and we had 13 difficult years.
Now we're divorce and I see my kids every other weekend. If I had it to do over, I never would have married her because I really had my doubts, but ignored those doubts because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.
2006-09-21 14:25:09 · answer #4 · answered by Picasso 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like he simply does not want to get married and he does not have the nerve to tell you this. Whatever his motivations for asking you originally, I'm afraid his feelings may have changed since then. You have to decide for yourself where your relationship is and where it is going. There is also the chance that he wants you to break up with him to take the pressure off him. Bottom line, if he will not talk about it then he doesn't want to marry.
2006-09-21 14:27:13 · answer #5 · answered by phillip g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hon that has happen to me to i was asked by my ex boy friend to marry him 5 months later every thing was set up and he did not wont to talk about it are nothing he said you are getting on my nerves and i was like what is wrong with you i asked him was he cheating on me and he said no so i stayed with him and i followed him for a couple of days i told him i was going out of town i stayed at my mother's and i followed him every where and come to find out i seen a girl get in the car with him so i called him when he went down the road and they were heading to our house and i said where you at and what u doing his answer i am at work on break is said okay love you call you later so he got home and i waited about 30 min and went in quitly and they were in the bed together never talked to him again. Hope that is not what is happening to your relationship because that tore me apart i wish you lots of luck. Hope your man just has cold feet.
2006-09-21 14:40:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are both very young. Perhaps he does not feel ready for the responsibilities of marriage. Give it time to work itself out.
2006-09-21 14:21:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good question. there is a lot to look at here and a lot of possible solutions. however, I bet that there is only one right answer to his attitude. I need more info to help you with this. IM me so that we can talk. I won't be harsh or weird...I just want to help. Ok?
2006-09-21 14:20:22 · answer #8 · answered by Dead 2 Self 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him if he wont have input you'll do it without his opinion from now on....if he doesnt care then get whatever you want and if he then tries to complain tell him he should have been involved from the beginning..it got my fiance thinking
2006-09-21 14:19:10 · answer #9 · answered by TheMaverick.The Artist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't sound like you guys are on the same page.
2006-09-21 14:23:09 · answer #10 · answered by Monty L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋