I have been in a rollercoaster ride relationship for five months. The guy that I'm dating has so many problems in his life until he let them get in the way of any type of emotion that he feels for me. One moment, we are ok, next, he doesnt call. We could be around each other for a few seconds and we will end up arguing. A couple of months earlier he told me that he doesnt like to talk about relationship things. And he told me to not put all of my heart into it. We have been shot at, threaten, and i have taken care of most of his needs(he says thankyou). I love this man a lot but i want real love. Passion for me just like i have passion for him. what should i do?
2006-09-21 07:04:56 · 30 answers · asked by LiStEN<<<Is Retired!! 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i have stuck by his side through thick and thin
2006-09-21 07:09:12 · update #1
Tell him that you want a real relationship, and since he has so many issues, he's not ready for one. Then move on. It will only get worse. He will probably expect more and more from you.
2006-09-21 07:07:14 · answer #1 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to understand a couple of things
1 - you are a rescuer - you enjoy saving people from things and making things better for them.
2 - he is a user - he uses people up for what they can do for him. It sounds like he is also fighting some sort of depression.
3 - he has already stated that he does not desire a serious relatioship (read that sex only)
so.. with all of this.. I'd say tell him you two are going to take a break for a while until... and then in a few months you will see if things are better.
I don't think you love him as much as you want to save him and make it better for him.
My guess would be you grew up with someone who modeled that type of behavior (mom and dad have a rocky marriage?) so it comes natural to you.
2006-09-21 14:24:32 · answer #2 · answered by .... 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Relationships and commitment are 2-way streets. If he's said to you "don't put you're whole heart in this", he's saying he isn't fully committed to you.
So, then the question becomes "Why isn't he committed to you?" It has nothing to do with you...it's him. You can spend your whole life trying to figure out how to fix this guy, but your love (or anyone else's for that matter) simply cannot achieve that end.
It sounds like you don't expect him to give you what you need in the relationship--i.e. he's not good boyfriend material right now. If you love him and want the best for him maybe you can be there for him as a friend, but my advice: find someone who will love you like you want to be loved.
2006-09-21 14:25:47 · answer #3 · answered by David B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That doesnt sound like a healthy relationship or environment for you to be in. Its only been 5 months and you have been through a rollercoaster already!! You need to ask yourself "what do I have to look forward to???"
2006-09-21 14:07:50 · answer #4 · answered by superbad~honeydip 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me like you know what you should do. Leave him and let him work out his issues. Find you a man whose ready for a relationship. Someone who can love you back. Who can treat you like a woman who's loved. You deserve it. So go for it! Don't waste another minute of your life with the wrong man.
2006-09-21 14:08:41 · answer #5 · answered by lilmama 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you are not getting what you need in the relationship bail out now! You say you take care of all of his needs but no mention of you getting anything out of the relationship. You need someone to love you and give you something not just take all the time!
2006-09-21 14:09:48 · answer #6 · answered by Gone fishin' 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Then you are with the wrong person, He tried to tell you, but you need to fix his problems, and you can't and shouldn't. that is not love, that is a need to have control. And this poor guy has let way to many things and people control him already
2006-09-21 14:11:44 · answer #7 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must be kidding. You've been shot at???? Would you recommend someone you love (sister, best friend) to stay in a relationship like that? Probably not. Take your own advice!
2006-09-21 14:08:10 · answer #8 · answered by Pimp E 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would find somebody better to share your life with. There is a lot of guys out there you just got to date around to find the right one for you and your needs.
2006-09-21 14:09:00 · answer #9 · answered by aluminum22rocker 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He told you from the beginning not to put your heart into it. What more is there to say ? You have nothing and your holding on to nothing. Of course I wouldn't stay. Even he's telling you not to. Listen.
2006-09-21 14:09:06 · answer #10 · answered by JustMe 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋