i have a big sister - she is like Einstein! very very smart!! and i'm not stupid at all but i'm not smart like her, and my parents only appreciate smart people - so they think i'm nothing and they always talk about her that she is sooooo smart and sooo inteligent and they say she has the most amazing heart they have ever seen and it's so untrue - if there is one person on earth that doesnt have a good heart - that's her. they just like her brain. and it is really breaking my heart because i think i'm better than her in a lot of other things!! what should i do?
2006-09-21 07:04:15 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
"No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent" Eleanor Roosevelt!
Just keep being you!
2006-09-21 07:06:42 · answer #1 · answered by Pimp E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing growing up. My sister was a straight A student. While the best I could do was a C- on a good day. Learning seemed to come so easy for her and I busted my butt just to get a passing grade. That seemed to set the pace of life too. My sister is successful, has a great job, a great family, she seems to have it all. But I just barely scrape by. The thing is though, my sister deserves everything she has. She works hard for it. I realize that I'm sorta on the lazy side but I still work. And I love my sister with all my heart and she loves me too. Just remember this, You are better than nobody but nobody is better than you. Don't let jealousy turn your heart black. Be thankful for what you have and be happy for your sister. And who the hell is going to care 100 years from now anyways?
2006-09-21 07:20:01 · answer #2 · answered by Justa_Honay_Guy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parents don't always realize what they are doing. I don't think they mean to hurt you..and I'm sure they really love you. But unfortunately different families value different things. My sister was always...and still is smarter than me....and yes...I have always felt inferior about that. BUT...you are right. I'm much better than her at many other things...as I know you are too! You need to just focus on those things...because as you get older...you will meet more people who will really appreciate your talents. Focus on being the best that you can be at what you're good at....know in your heart that you are valuable in this world....and also know....life will be very different when you get older. You will have a life of your own. What your parents and family think will matter less to you. What you think of yourself will always matter the most.....and you will be able to pick who you intend to spend time with when you are grown. Be sure to choose people who value you....but most of all....always value yourself! This will decide how good your life will be.
2006-09-21 07:13:19 · answer #3 · answered by Me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can appreciate your pain! I went through school being compared with my niece who is the same age as me. She was always smarter, prettier and everything better than me. Don't worry - it all changes when you get older. As we grow and make our own choices, others will get to see the real person inside and they will realize that she isn't all that and that there's more to you than they thought!
Give it time - you'll show them all! I did - by going back and finishing my degree after 15 years and having a family. If finished with high honors - (Summa C Laude - 3.9), to her top 10 in high school! She chose not to have children and her hubby travels and she is alone a lot. I have a great hubby, 2 great kids and trying for one more. So who is the smart one now?
Hang in there and just be you - the best YOU that you can be and you'll be fine.
2006-09-21 07:17:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
as much as this would ask your self you, i actual want brunettes and redheads over blondes, any day of the week, any week of the twelve months. nevertheless, sibling opposition isn't something new, having been the extra youthful brother of somebody who to on the present time I nonetheless outdo. yet what would you have favorite ? That your sister be left out, that she fail at something, or be concern to three calamity ? i'm particular that some fortunate issues ensue to you that don't ensue on your sister concurrently. Being sisters is a dating, no longer a contest. So you need to be supportive, or no longer downright elated at something fortuitous that happens on your sister. you will sense extra effective.
2016-10-01 05:27:26 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
KEEP THIS IN MIND:
NOONE is good at everything.
But EVERYONE is good at something.
There will come a time for HER talent to shine.
There will come a time for YOUR talent to shine.
With that being said, it's not ur time 2 shine in ur parents eye.
and if ur sister has such a cold heart as u say she does
remeber
U CANT FOOL ALL THE PEOPLE ALL THE TIME, and EVERYTHING SHE DOES IN THE DARK WILL COME TO THE LIGHT.
I was considered the smart one, but when it came to driving I caught on a little later, my younger sister talent (at the momement) was driving, my parents gave her mor time and privilegages to drive.
U'll get ur time just wait, be paitent.
It may seems small but remeber u will get ur time to shine greatly as well.
ALSO, if ur sister is as negative as ur say remeber:
She can fool some of the people some of the time, but not all of them all of the time, her evil deed will to come to the light.
2006-09-21 07:34:30 · answer #6 · answered by Gifted and Gracious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Work hard and excel at the things you are good at and always do your best at everything...effort means a lot more in the long run...don't give up. Stop being so jealous of your sister. The venom you have for her will only further poison your relationship with your parents.
2006-09-21 07:09:13 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn to discount your parents opinions since they aren't very valid. Don't spend your energy comparing you to your sister or mulling over how to get your parents to value you as much as her.
Create your life to meet your needs and not the needs of your parents. Have more appropriate values than your parents' values.
Make sure you spend your energy in positive ways and not on this problem. When you are an adult, you will be assessed by friends, co-workers and boyfriends, not your parents and so it is important to become someone that can be treasured by people who are capable of appreciating others in a more healthy way.
There may be a silver-lining in all of this and that is that you will learn to be sensitive to the needs of others and value people with good hearts both of which are more important qualities than intelligence.
My sister and I encountered a similar problem with my brother and our parents. For example, they travelled long-distance to attend my brother's graduation, but made no plans to attend my sister's local graduation. As for me, I didn't care because people who behave this way don't matter much to me.
2006-09-21 07:14:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you don't have book smarts but I have known a lot of people with tons of book smarts who get no where. I am sure you have other wonderful qualities that your parents are just not seeing. Give it time they will notice you and if not someone else will.
2006-09-21 07:24:46 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel Bitchface 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be the kind person that you are. You will find out that you are better and smarter at things that your big sister isn't so good at. BUT most of all don't change you are a GOOD person.
2006-09-21 07:09:55 · answer #10 · answered by Monty L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always felt like that in my family..always under my siblings..my borther was the funny one..my sister is the cool one..I'm- well..I'm nothing..After years past of feeling inadequate..I realized..I'm not in a competition for their love! They love me no matter what! They just like that theyre children are all different and talented..Something you could do though is cook something..maybe cookies..a pie etc... maybe even chocolate chip cookies..show them some kind of talent to distinquish yourself from everyone else..they'll appreciate it
2006-09-21 07:07:41 · answer #11 · answered by LONG ISLAND GIRL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋