My husband has three kids from his first marriage, 24 married and on her own 15 &13 that live with their mom. This summer while down for a month our lives became a night mare and his son was very abusive to my 6 year old son and was making sexual advances on my 8 year old daughter. The 15 year old was rude, beligerant and very disrespectful to her father, me and my kids and stole several items from my 14 year old daughter, the oldest only came for a week and then just to try to get money and went home mad when she didn't. The visit ended with the kids going home early and juevenille officers involved over the abuse. Now my husbands father is dying with cancer and we feel the kids need to see him however we think with the 24 yo we could put them up in a hotel instead of turning our homelife upside down again and everyone else is saying we are wrong that we should send my kids away for a few days and have them here. This is my kids home what would you do?
2006-09-21 06:43:37 · 18 answers · asked by Martha S 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
juvenile officer said his son IS NOT to be allowed around my kids without adult supervision at all times and his daughter threatens mine physically because they go out and see my in-laws and have a relationship there. These kids are brats and I mean that. My husband had a heart attack in August and to this day not one of his kids has called him he has only talked to the ex about the visit to see their grandfather. He is a good dad and loves the kids they are just being brats
2006-09-21 06:46:51 · update #1
My husband is a great dad and my kids all love him to death. He has stood beside me all through this and is the one who called juvenile on his son. My father-in-law doesn't live with us their house in on our property and the kids mom is a @#$%^ that can only think of herself and even though gets $1400 a month in support says she can't afford to bring the kids down ( it is 4 hours from here) my husband wants his dad to see all the kids before he gets any worse.
2006-09-21 06:57:50 · update #2
The lil, rude disrespectful bastards wouldn't be coming into my house and to hell with what ANYONE thinks about it. Let the kids stay at whoever has a problem with it house. Do not send your children away from THEIR home to take in these hoodlums.
2006-09-21 06:48:05 · answer #1 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would call an old fashioned round table discussion & hammer down concrete rules for the step children...The 24 year old is a grown aiss woman & should be treated as such, meaning if she can't live by the house rules then yeah she should stay in a hotel, & if all she wants is money then let dad talk with her & teach her how to earn it.....If those kids can't behave themselves I think your husband should put his foot down & not let them destroy his new family life & marriage...He should also cancel or get rid of all distractions & counsel his kids because it seems as though they are suffering mental breakdowns from the divorce & they have a way that may be bizarre & may have developed over time but they are acting out....So in short your husband is going to have to really play father on this or you could call it being a man of the house!
2006-09-21 15:25:50 · answer #2 · answered by Zayne P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Juvenile officers? Here it is called Child Protection Services who get involved in sex crimes. And this is what that boy did to your daughter. Was the boy charged with child molestation? The boy should be put in a boy's school or something. And it makes me wonder how many other little girls he did this to.
All of those kids are brats and are trying to break up your marriage. I have seen so many step-kids hating the step-mom. They want their parents back together, no matter who they hurt in the process.
As far as your father-in-law, let the oldest child handle the brats in a hotel.
Your children come first!!
2006-09-21 14:20:21 · answer #3 · answered by Dottie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your kids are first than anything in the world! You received the other kids in your home with arms wide open and they paid you by behaving like that, I know it's a bad situation for everyone, because of the health problems you mentioned but let's not add another one. Those kids can stay at a hotel with their mom, or they can remain in their house and cause no problems to anyone but the person who raised such brats. Youl shouldn't feel guilty for not receiving them in your house anymore. In time, they will realize that with such behaviour soon nobody will want them around and nobbody will let them into their lives. If that can't make them change their attitude, nothing will and then they're hopeless.
2006-09-21 14:08:33 · answer #4 · answered by Mossespa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally wouldn't even invite them to see their grandfather. They might kill him right then and there with their awful behavior. Don't send your kids away. Why should they be pushed out of their home because of these brats. That is not fair to them. Instead of forcing your husbands kids to come see their grandfather, why don't you just let them make the choice to come see him or not. Then you can decide whether you'll need the hotel room. Don't put yourself or your kids through hell if you don't have to.
2006-09-21 14:12:07 · answer #5 · answered by sexy lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are right to keep your kids where they are. If your husband's son was making sexual advances on your young daughter, then hands-down he should not be in your home where he has access to her. Period. And your kids should not have to leave so he can be there. I say that putting his kids up in a hotel is a good idea.
2006-09-21 13:48:49 · answer #6 · answered by alison l 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should not allow your husband's kids back into your home until they learn some respect. Your husband should back you up in this. Your husband needs to talk to his ex-wife about this and try to resolve it. Does your father in law live with you? If not, I don't understand the part about you feeling that the kids should see him. Where is he? Where does he live? Their mother needs to arrange a way for them to see their grandfather. You can do whatever you need to do to ensure your children see their grandfather. There's no need for your husband's children to stay with you or for your kids to be kicked out of their home. Handle it!
2006-09-21 13:52:40 · answer #7 · answered by gemone523 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
damn,,Ok when they come to your house they have to live by your rules,if they cant behave then they shouldnt be allowed to be there,it is important that you treat them as good as you do the kids who live with you.but if they are theives and pervs they cant expect to have the same treatment.as far as sending the kids away when you have the others visit is so wrong,they shouldnt be run off so there isnt a problem,,they arent the ones that caused it,,why punish them for it.If i came into your house and stole something would you want me to visit again,they are youalls kids but a theif is a theif and needs to be punished for his or her actions,and if that means no visitations then so be it till the problem is fixed
2006-09-21 21:43:25 · answer #8 · answered by hekler1873 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Protect your children. My parents did not.My brother molested my sisters then me. My parents should have protected me and they did not. Will the kids listen to the 24year old. You may need his ex wife to come stay in the hotel. It sounds like these kids need counseling. Maybe even family counseling. I am sorry for your father in law you will be in my prayers.
2006-09-21 14:07:32 · answer #9 · answered by Didi S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would do like you said put them in hotel, you should have their dad go stay with them, maybe get two adjoining rooms. Don't feel bad about not bringing them to your home as they are the ones that violated your home to begin with.
2006-09-21 13:49:04 · answer #10 · answered by meanicelady 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋