to over protective?

Question

I have a daughter she is 11 and in the fifth grade she is a good girl and makes good grades. the other night she asked me if she could go to the movies this weekend with a group of friends in which a boy she likes in her class is going. Well i said no because she is to young she thinks im unfair i say im not if it was just girls i may have let her but i still would go to the movies to i would just see a different movie. Do you think i was wrong i dont think i am because she is my baby and thier is plenty of time for that sort of thing when she is older. (maybe 35 if then lol)

Answer 1

I think you were correct in saying no. She is only 11!!

Answer 2

I think if she is a good responsible girl like you say she is, there is no harm in letting her go with the group. If it was a "date" of course not! You say it is a group of friends that happens to include a boy she likes. As long as they stay together in the group, I see no trouble with it. Someone else replied with drop her off and pick her up. I agree with this too. It is just a movie. If it makes you feel better, see the movie too and just sit someplace behind them so you can keep an eye on them. I have a 10 1/2 year old and I am a very protective parent but I would let her go in this situation because she, too, is a good girl and knows the consequences.

Answer 3

It really doesn't matter what we think does it? You are apparently a loving concerned mom who has weighed the options and finds it to be in your daughters best interest not to let her go. We don't know your daughter, the boy she likes, or the movie. You will get differing opinions ranging from "you are too legalistic" to "I would do the same thing." But, at the end of the day, you are the only one equipped to make that call. So keep trying to be a loving, fair, mom who is concerned about her daughters well being.

Answer 4

She maybe your lil baby , but shes growing up , you gotta give her some trust , maybe she will surprise you an thing will go well , but if you try an shelter her from boys & everything else she's gonna be Hell once she gets into High School. She'll start lying to go out , an As me being a parents too , i would rather my child tell me the truth , vs. Lie to me. You need to start giving her some freedom. Let her do little things like the movies, She will either Build more good trust , or she will Kill the trust. You have to let her do things.

Answer 5

You need to remember that you are the mom and anything that happens to her is your responsibility. It's probably easier if you were her dad, but remember what you were like at that age? You don't want to loose your daughter to unbridled horny boys. It might be a good idea to come up with an alternative, though. Allow her to have her friends over to your house to watch a movie (she can include her crush) and that way you can supervise. Or grab a gal pal and go with them to the movie. Your daughter isn't even a teenager yet, you are older and wiser. You are not obligated to reason with her. Just stick to your guns and tell her you love her. Remember the metaphor, those who spare their children discipline, hate them.

Answer 6

what you did was just about anything a mother can do. 11 is really young i agree with what you did. don't beat yourself up just because you said no. if you had said otherwise it would not have made you any better or worse a person. besides, you've been around the block and you can see things she's too young to see. sometimes when they aren't ready to make the right decisions on their own you have to make it for them, that's what being amother is about: protecting them until they are ready. over protective is not the right term to describe what you did. i would suggest "what i did and am proud to have done: care"

Answer 7

You did the right thing. I have a 11 yr old and no way is she going to the movies with a boy! Group or no group.

Answer 8

that's a hard one i think that because she is so young you do need to be a little more protective but only because she is going into a dark movie theater and there could be creepo's not because she is going with a boy you need to tell her the rules with boys and that you trust her and you can even go as far as inviting all of her friends and that little boy she has a crush on for a movie night at your house so you can have her close to her but she still feels you trust her and she has freedom

Answer 9

Of course everyone is entitled to their own parenting ideas. But I think that if you were going to let her go with the group of girls, there should be no problem letting her go, even if that boy is going to be there.

I mean if they are going to be in a movie theater with a bunch of people not much is going to happen. Anyway, if she was going to do anything bad, she would find a way to do it. By trusting her and giving her the benefit of the doubt, she is less likely to be rebellious. If you over protect her then she will become mad and most likely do bad things.

Answer 10

If you drop her off and pick her up after the movie, I don't see the harm in it. Maybe you could give her your cell phone while she's there so you can contact her if need be. I don't really see the harm in it. If it were just her and the boy, I would agree with saying "no" but there will be other girls around.

Answer 11

Firstly, sorry to say but please mark your lines better next time? you can offer better question to someone who's trying to help~

Back to the question, I would say YES, this is unfair, coz I'm a Chinese girl, who has more conservative parents at home, and you know what I got? when I was studying (from grade 1 to university) she said i'm too young to talk about love and other stuff, not mature enough to have a bf blah blah blah

and now what? I just turned 25 this summer, and once I graduated, she started murmuring beside me saying that I should get to know someone to date with, and what's on my mind? I say damn it! why is that my love is supposed to be scheduled by someone who call herself a Mother? if love can be scheduled that is it still love? why the heck should i start looking for boys ONLY under your so-called guidance & advice & orders?!

I had a lil puppy love thingy when I was in grade 5 summer holiday, with a guy 1 year older than me, we just had good feelings towards each other, but they were already sooooo frightened, they opened letters from him to me without my consent, though they admit that to me, but they confronted me as well, saying that "I expect no more letters from him afterwards", i tell you what, that's Repulsive!!! especially to a lil girl at this age!

I'm still a girl at heart, partly because my parents never wanted me to grow up at heart but unwilling to admit, i suggest you start treating your girl like a friend and make sure she tells you everything like a true friend; rather than she started to isolate her true self from you and only show you what you wanted to see (just like that i did)