During the past 4 weeks, I never chatted to anyone and I really need tips on making new friends. I am starting to get very depressed for not getting new friends at school. I need to learn to speak my mind to other people. When I am near new students, words cannot come out. When I am with a friend's friend, I do not mind talking to them. What would you do if you were me? I need to get rid of my shyness. How am I suppose to overcome shyness? In my class, everyone seems to talk to each other but I just cannot get myself to introduce myself to new people. How do you do it? How do you introduce yourself without the fear of looking like an idiot? Please, I need help
2006-09-21 05:51:49 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just be yourself. You'll probably screw up a few times, but who hasn't?
2006-09-21 05:56:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't an idiot, just have low self esteem. I don't think you ever get rid of shyness totally but you can get to where it is manageable. The best thing I can offer is this, you said you have friends and talk to their friends well just work off that. You aren't shy around them. So keep on talking to the people you do know and if you are comfortable with it ask them to introduce you to some other people. If you can't ask that just know eventually you will meet new people that way but it will take some time. also if there is someone you would like to be friends with try and make an opportunity. If they have a job go there some so they see you (not saying stalking here) and it will provide you a chance to talk to them and not HAVE to think of something out of the blue.
2006-09-21 13:04:10 · answer #2 · answered by kna0831 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just set your eyes on the group of people who you think you would fit in best. People dont like to admitt it but there are different groups in each school....you got the, all about homework and school group, the ones whos all about sports and nothing much eles group, the rich and not to be mean but "stuck up" group, the drugz and smokerz group and than theres a groups in the middle, who are some of little of each. So ask yourself where would you fit in and have most in common. Than find these people in your class, start off by asking for somthing simple like if they have a pen you could borrow or a piece of paper. Than work your way up, once he or she says yes be poite and say somthing nice for example.." i got the exact same shirt at home, i just love it" or "where did you buy those jeans i must have!" these are more for the girls now if you a guy...go more into finding out what they like, music or moives, than bring up if they have seen that new moive that just came out you were going to watch it but wanted to know if it was good. Than slowly keep the conversation going, next day say hi make eye contact first and smile and say hi, comment on the homework or ask another question such as whens this assignement suspose to be done again? The more questons the better so than you can get to see who they really are so than you can start talking about things they like and go from there. Good luck and sure you will met lots of people. Try joining a drama club or a subject where most of the time the teachers pair up differnent people with people they dont know. Such as gym.
2006-09-21 16:33:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheers up! It was difficult for me as well but i got over it and i got rid of my shyness when i realized that people judge u weither u're shy or daring, they'll judge u if u make a fool of urself or if u stay in ur corner... i used to take kick boxing classes too to get the anger out or also scream in a pillow...anyway i think u have 3 choices, there is no miracle remedy u have to do it urself:
1- u can decide that u're a great guy and u have something to share with people and do it, some will be happy and some might make fun..but thats gonna happen anyway they'll get over it
2- u can choose someone that is uaually alone and talk to him maybe it might work
3- or u can just stay alone and maybe with time it will go away...
i think u should go with #1 thats what i would have done...and dont be scared they arent better than u!
cheers!
2006-09-21 13:13:48 · answer #4 · answered by le_filet_de_fish 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay.
i used to be just like you. always quiet, considered the shy girl that kinda keeps to herself when shes not around her friends. and i didnt make new friends easily either.
i overcame that. i got tired of it just like you are tired of it now.
how to over come shyness? confidence. not a false sense of confidence but real confidence. in yourself and your actions. try to put on the attitude that you dont care what anyone else thinks of you. if they want to think badly of you or think youre an idiot then make yourself think that you dont care. even if you dont. tell yourself that you couldnt care less waht they have to say about you. and how do you meet new people without looking like an idiot? simple.
just talk casually with someone.
over current events at school, or current problems the school is having, or talk about projects. or whatever. small talk. that should start a basic friendship.
hope i helped in any way
<3
2006-09-21 13:01:38 · answer #5 · answered by cutiepatootie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may want friendship, but what kind of friend would you make? Factors to consider include:
Attitudes to others - we can drive potential friends away by demanding they share our attitudes, beliefs or behaviours. If you accept that other people have a right to be different from you, then you open yourself up to the possibility of experiencing relationships that bring a fresh perspective to your life.
Treatment of other people - think about how you like to be treated, then offer the same to the people in your life.
Don't expect instant results - good friends aren't made overnight. Sharing your deepest secrets in one night won't necessarily create a close friendship. It may even drive the other person away. Take it slowly. Divulge 'safe' secrets first, and allow the relationship to hold some weight before you share the meatier issues in your life.
Curb the urge to criticise - constantly griping about the failures and weaknesses of other people can make your listener feel wary of you. How do they know you aren't complaining about their flaws to other friends?
Don't gossip - potential friends aren't going to trust you if you constantly gossip to them about the trials and tribulations of other people in your life.
Don't compromise yourself - each one of us has standards of morality and behaviour. Don't allow yourself to compromise yourself for the sake of 'fitting in' with a group.
2006-09-21 13:00:06 · answer #6 · answered by Fahim . 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem. I turn to stone as soon as I even think of introducing myself. All I have done about it is practice. Just say, "Hi "im, _____, what's your name?" and hopefully the conversaton will flow from there. A good tip on talking to people you dont know is always ask alot of questions about that person. If I know anything about anybody it's that people love talking about themselves. Good luck and God bless!
2006-09-21 12:58:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be more confident. You need to realize that people will like you and you are a worthwhile person. Just go up to people and start talking. Once you do it you will feel great and start making new friends.
2006-09-21 12:55:32 · answer #8 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the fear of lookin like an idiot is just the way your brain puts you in alert that you need to do well. but the best you can do is be yourself. worst case scenario, you won't find friends on the 1st try. but if you don't try at all you SURELY won't find friends. so go on, give it a whirl. 'hi, i'm (insert name here). who're u?"
2006-09-21 13:00:35 · answer #9 · answered by chaotique_79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Join one of the clubs at school. There kids will have similar interest as you and you will have something to talk about.
2006-09-21 12:55:19 · answer #10 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋