Let me begin by saying that we started dating in the beginning of June (days after meeting) had broken up after a month but have continued "dating" unofficially ever since. The thing is I care about him. Whether he feels the same is generally up in the air. He tells me he cares about me, he texts all the time and yet he hurts me and doesn't even know. To be honest, I find our ups and downs exciting and I am not really interested in a serious boyfriend (just a loving one). I just want to point out in addition; I am an incredibly strong, intelligent woman... I just seem to have a weak spot for him. I am just so unsure of his feelings and whether he respects me or not. I miss him and wish he treated me better, but I am also tired of feeling blue. I think he can best be compared to Mr.Big! It really is the same type of situation. Any advice?? He wants to get together on Saturday and has text three times without a response from me... should I meet up with him or just let this one die???
2006-09-21 05:47:54 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Okay quick side note... NOT his booty call. We no longer live in the same city. It is more about keeping the relationship up vs. shaggin eachother.
2006-09-21 06:00:05 · update #1
Yes. Forgive him.
Forgiving is love’s revolution against life’s unfairness. When we forgive, we ignore the normal laws that strap us to the natural law of getting even and, by the alchemy of love, we release ourselves from our own painful pasts. We may talk about turning the other cheek and forgiving those who have wronged us, but it is not a simple thing to do. The problem usually lies within the whirling tornado of emotions that are at the center of this act. It is the hardest trick in the bag of personal relationships.
It is important not to confuse forgiveness with other similar acts. Forgiveness is not excusing, smothering conflict, accepting people, or tolerance. When you forgive the person who hurt you deeply and unfairly, you perform a miracle that has no equal. Nothing else is the same. Forgiving has its own feel and its own color and its own climax, different from any other creative act in the repertoire of human relationships.
There are four stages in the process of forgiveness beginning with the hurt that precipitates the crisis and causes us pain that will not go away. We must acknowledge that first. The second stage is hate when all our feelings of anger and righteous indignation come to the surface. The third stage is healing; you are given the ‘magic eyes’ to see the person who hurt you in a new light. Your memory is healed, you turn back the flow of pain and are free again. The fourth stage is the coming together where you affect a reconciliation and invite the person back into your life at the right time ( which doesn't always mean now). The major healing takes place within us thanks to the love and freedom that blooms in us.
It is best to practice forgiveness a little at a time. Ordinary people forgive best if they go at it in bits and pieces, and for specific acts. We bog down if we try to forgive people in the grand manner, because wholesale forgiving is almost always fake. Forgiving anything at all is a minor miracle; forgiving carte blanche is silly. Nobody can do it. Except God. And the first rule for mere human beings in the forgiving game is to remember that we are not God.
Someting else to remember: The shadows of resentment keep our spiritual light from shining through, never allowing us to fully experience who we are. In the experience of resentment, we are pushed further from our light than at any other time, because anger and hatred are the opposite of love.
The longer we hold hard thoughts or feelings of animosity, the weaker our light becomes, and consequently the deeper the hurt from our own dishonoring. The anger grows and grows. No matter what the perceived sin is against us, eventually forgiveness is seen to be the only doorway to freedom.
Pain in the heart is the energy of love pushing against a blocked emotion contained there. Holding onto anger keeps us on the path of self-destruction.
Do not stress that you have not forgiven. As love changes your mind, it is inevitable that forgiveness will come. True forgiveness comes in its own time. When love opens the door, we constantly correct and refine our behavior, gradually bringing ourselves to a state of love where fear will not exist.
2006-09-21 06:06:25 · answer #1 · answered by Lilly 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you don't mind being his booty call and you're not looking for a serious relationship then stop being so sensitive. He's not going to treat you any better because you've already let him know that he doesn't have to. Why buy the cow if the milk is free? If this is the position you want your life to be in, by all means...see him...if you were happy with this situation you wouldn't have to ask such a question. Seems to me like you are searching for your self-respect and dignity...you'll never find it with this kind of lifestyle.
2006-09-21 05:57:49 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know that being stupid isn't being intelligent, right? He doesn't care enough about you to know how you feel. He hasn't even noticed. Take a hint from Sex and the City...He's JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. If you are okay with being treated like a call girl, keep going out with him. You can forgive him for being an ****** and still be smart enough to leave that relationship in the dust. There are better guys out there to have flings with.
2006-09-21 05:54:09 · answer #3 · answered by Luckiest_Wife_EVER 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you've cried over him here are some words of advice my friend gave me "You shouldn't have to cry to prove to someone you love them"....im telling you this because if someone is always hurting you there is no point in being w/ him....im not saying you shouldn't meet w/ him becuase i think you should....i also think that this little meeting of yours should be closier between the two of you.....you siad that you are strong and intelligent well i think that you will be able to handle this situtain well
hope i helped
2006-09-21 05:53:39 · answer #4 · answered by floydygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you want a loving relationship - this is not the one! If you truly want to test it - ignore his texts for a period of one week. See if he comes back. If not - you're clear of it - if he does, set ground rules - don't be a door mat!
2006-09-21 05:51:24 · answer #5 · answered by Been there 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get him to treat you right, or find someone that will. Just be sure you really recognize and appreciate it when you DO find someone that knows how to treat you.
2006-09-21 05:54:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
U really love him u don't know. one thing loose for a month and u will see how much u really want him beside u.
2006-09-21 05:54:31 · answer #7 · answered by diji 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
with ths situation ...u wont know anything until you speak up and as khim str8 out without beatin around the bush.
2006-09-21 05:52:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure you should meet him and after he rolls the truck over you again. You should forgive him so he can do it again.
2006-09-21 05:54:25 · answer #9 · answered by Monty L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on
2006-09-21 05:49:45 · answer #10 · answered by CJM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋