i am a stay at home mom for my one yr old, and my two yr old. right now, it is too expensive for daycare where i live, so if i went back to work i would be bringing home about 20$ a month. i wouldnt mind basically working for free, as i love my job, and i am not stay at home material (kudos goes to all who are) as i frequently feel stifled in this atmosphere. does anyone have any ideas on how i can convince my husband that not all families benefit from having a homemaker? i can feel myself getting more resentful that he works, and gets to leave the house.
2006-09-21 05:43:16 · 7 answers · asked by canadian housewife 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
its not staying with my children i mind, i love them to bits. its not feeling like a contributor, and the lack of conversation. i had a very busy job so i am used to high energy, and feeling useful.
2006-09-21 05:45:06 · update #1
I have a deal with my wife.
When I get home, she can come/go as she pleases. The kids are all mine at that point. She goes out with her friends to movies, dinner, whatever. Being a SAHM is a LOT harder than folks give it credit.
Thank you for giving your children the time at home that you could.
2006-09-21 05:46:59 · answer #1 · answered by Robert 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First check around and see if their is someone that babysits from their home that is trustworthy and maybe less expensive. My best friends mom kept my daughter when she was that age and charged me half of what daycares did. Second sit your husband down and tell him that you love him and you love the kids but you also enjoyed your job and felt like you were a better person when you were working and you are afraid if you don't get to get out and do something at least part-time you will resent him and the kids. You are right not everyone is cut out to be a stay at home mom. Both my sisters work and are happy and have happy kids however I now stay at home and I enjoy it. Good luck.
2006-09-21 12:56:13 · answer #2 · answered by Martha S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm impressed that you are doing this. Your contribution to the wellbeing of your children is enormous and cannot be measured. I think you should try to stay at home but with help.
Also, if you agreed to be a stay-at-home and now resent your husband, that's not fair to him. You are now changing the agreement, and so there is no need to be mad at him when you change your mind.
Find other mothers who do the same in your area and meet with them.
Find other mothers like you on the net and compare notes.
Make sure that you get out of the house every day, even in bad weather. Keeps you from going stir crazy.
2006-09-21 12:57:27 · answer #3 · answered by adamsjrcn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you gave birth to those kids, it's you responsibility to raise them. I'm a stay at home mom, and while sometimes it cramps my style or I get bored, I know my daughter never had a choice in her being born, I made that choice. Don't punish your children by being an absent Mommy (no one will care for your kids like you do) because you're selfish. Sounds like you need your husband to be more involved. I know it can be hard not having someone with real intelligence to carry a normal conversation with. Express to your hubby that you need interaction and get involved with other moms. They have park days and group activities that allow you to be a Mom and a person at the same time. My mom worked and I will always resent that. I feel like she didn't love me enough to be there with me. I know that's not necessarily true, but I'm not going to risk doing the same thing to my kids.
2006-09-21 12:48:06 · answer #4 · answered by Luckiest_Wife_EVER 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, there is no need for a homemaker. The trick is is finding places to take care of your kids, and also managing to spend time with them. This means that your husband has to help out, so ask him to help with chores, shopping, and the kids - try to make sure there's some time, somewhere, to take the family out. I remember my dad as a very prominent figure in my life, even though he worked the most, because he always took me and my brothers out whenever he was off of work. My mother also worked a 9-5 job.
There is no place to feel resentful; if you do, you have to rectify it. talk to your husband, and if he absolutely insists on it, tell him that he'll have to do half the chores, shopping and all that, so you can go out of the house and do -something-. He is the other half of the team, after all.
2006-09-21 12:47:57 · answer #5 · answered by Kage D, 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Just explain to your husband how you feel. Being a stay at home mother is not for everyone. Tell him that you can handle going to work and also taking care of the home.
2006-09-21 12:47:16 · answer #6 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can convince him by having him stay home from work one day and watch the kids without you being there. THAT outta take care of it.
2006-09-21 12:46:15 · answer #7 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋