My fiance and I want to go to the courthouse in about a month and get married there, but later on have a big ceremony and reception. Right now both sets of parents are having financial difficulties, and he and I are both in school so we can't afford it either. But of course we would love to have the big celebration too. Do alot of couples do this sort of thing too?
2006-09-21 05:34:03 · 24 answers · asked by Katy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It doesn't matter where you get married, the most important thing is that you love each other. Your parents,I'm sure, wishes they could have afforded a really nice wedding for you but you are doing the smart thing. Remember, financial problems are the root cause of most divorce, be very careful, take your time and the future will be yours together. You will not start out in debt and you will be just as married as if you spent a fortune. Don't worry about traditions, just strive for the values that are really important in a marriage.....LOVE .
By the way.... an early Congratulations!
2006-09-21 06:03:51 · answer #1 · answered by Caesar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son and his wife did this several years ago. I will say there are all kinds of people in the world, and it is certainly possible to have someone in your family who objects, and refuses to come or something. But, my advice is to do what you want, and those who object can go hang.
There are lots of people who marry, and years later, renew their vows, though usually they request no gifts, since it is just an emotional thing for them.
Another thought. You can also choose simply to marry now in the courthouse, and that's all. There is no need to have a big ceremony. Some years ago, an attorney kept track, and the more that was spent on the wedding, the higher the divorce rate. Think about it.
I can tell you my wife and I married in 1975, we did find a pastor of the Unitarican church, two families went with us, we had the ceremony in his office, he cleaned off his desk for the task. Simple.
Oh, I gotta' tell you about the dress. It was not a first wedding, we both had kids. So, she ordered a nice, floor length dress from J.C , Penneys. When it came, it had a ripped seam. It was too late to exchange it, so she tacked it. When the wedding was over, she decided she did not want to keep a damaged dress, and did not want to keep a dress she didn't wear to marry. So, she got her money back.
My best friend, when he heard this, shouted, "WHAT A KEEPER!" :)
We have been married 31+ years.
2006-09-21 05:50:31 · answer #2 · answered by retiredslashescaped1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am actually doing the same. We are getting married at the courthouse in about 2 weeks and then we are having a big wedding next year. I don't know what the reasons are of why people do this, but we decided to because we don't want to live in sin. However, we will have out reception with everyone later.
2006-09-21 07:32:11 · answer #3 · answered by Susa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why not just have a coffee and cake reception with 20 of your closest friend after the courthouse. Many peopke are offended to find out after the wedding at the court that you are getting married again. If you want a wedding, plan a date that is a year or so out then get married. It can be very sticky with guest if you are having to weddings.
2006-09-21 10:16:14 · answer #4 · answered by axegirl72 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of couples do it when money is tight, or when they dont want to have the big wedding. Since many people have loved ones they know would want to celebrate with them, they usually schedule the reception at a later date. There is nothing wrong with it at all!
A lady i used to work with for married in Vegas and had a reception 2 months later. No one thought different about her at all.
When my mom got married- she did it at the courthouse and immediately following we had a reception for her.
Good luck and congrats! ;0)
2006-09-21 05:45:22 · answer #5 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, never heard of it before. But if you love eachother and can't wait to make it legal then go for it. I'm afraid that the big ceremony and reception won't be as special for ya then. I could be totally wrong, but I'd rather wait and make it the way that you want it whether it be big or small. The act is the greatest show of love and commitment that any two people can make. Do what you as a couple want, not what other people want you to do, because in the end its your marriage, not theirs. :)
2006-09-21 05:44:42 · answer #6 · answered by Krissy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's exactly what my husband and I did. We got married in the courthouse, with just a couple of close friends to serve as witnesses. About a couple of months later we had the Church weddign where everyone was invited and the reception afterwards.
If that's what you want to do, go ahead.
Only problem is deciding which one you're going to use as an anniversary date. ;-)
2006-09-21 10:20:46 · answer #7 · answered by Jenni77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is exactly what my fiance and I are doing. We are going to the courthouse next month to get married but our "wedding" isn't planned until next june. We need to save money for it but we don't want to wait to be married, plus there is health insurance and taxes to consider. We decided though to only tell a few people what we are doing so that we don't have to hear the lectures on having a wedding after already being married for awhile. Good luck with whatever you decide.
2006-09-21 06:25:01 · answer #8 · answered by Aunie Stina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. My stepbrother married his wife infront a justice of the peace and then had a big reception. Go for it. If you are Catholic you would not be seen as married in the eyes of God. Now for example my two friends married in Reno , about 4 yrs ago and then talked to the local church in there community and were blessed by a priest , restated ther vows and recieved a wedding licence from the church.
2006-09-21 05:46:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's common in some areas - I know someone who moved to Argentina and got married there, and she said it's actually the normal way to do things there.
If you're both happy with doing it that way, go for it. You could always call the event later a "marriage celebration" (rather than a "wedding") and renew your vows. Just make sure you think about it to make sure that you won't have any regrets over not exchanging the original vows in front of everyone.
2006-09-21 05:46:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋