So I was on and off with this guy for 6 months. I starting liking him the first night I hung out with him. We'd hang out almost everyday, weekends are when I stayed over. It was casual but heading for a commitment. Soon things faded out and we went our seperate ways and I moved to Texas. We still talk and i think about him every day, and its not just a once a day thing, its all the time. He tells me he misses me and he wishes I never left. I dont know if I should come out and be completely honest about how I feel, or I should let him come to me. Its been so complicated since it started and I am in love with him now. I miss him so much it hurts. I dont think he would make me feel bad about how I feel, but how do I know if he feels the same way? Do I try and start things up, or has it been to long? I dont know what to do about him. Every other guy i try to talk to I compare to him, or the guy turns out to be a complete asshole. Hes the only one who gets me and makes me feel special.
2006-09-21 05:26:58 · 17 answers · asked by Kat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Give it up. Look, you said yourself that things had faded out. Now that you've moved away and you're in a new situation where so many things are unknown and uncomfortable, you're yearning for what WAS comfortable, your relationship with him. But your relationship with him had already ended and you had gone your separate ways.
Let him go, move on, explore your new life in Texas. He's just a security blanket because you're afraid.
2006-09-21 05:37:13 · answer #1 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i wish you had explained how it faded out. It sounds like you did have commitment is for about 6months you were hanging out and staying over.
When you moved, did you have closure with him or did you just go? I believe, distance makes the heart grow fonder is true. When you get to see a person everyday it is easy to stay in the moment and balence good and bad. However, when your far away one remembers the good times. Phone converstations are pleasant because that is the only connection.
I know how you feel to miss someone everyday, I had a similar situation. I moved away from my significant other and we talked all the time. I missed him like crazy, I found myself asking why I didn't just stay. This boy however always had poor interpersonal communication and relationship skills. From the distance I forgot about all that. He would leave me sweet voice mails and tell me everything he was supposed to. He did come to see me and eentually moved there but our relationship just faded out like you said. It was worth knowing though.
So, my advice to you is stay put. Let him come to you, but let him know that you still really care about him and you wish there could be more. If he is in love with you, he will come or do what it takes make a long distane relationship possible.
If he does not jump, he won't hate or make you feel bad. You'll know the feelings of are not completely reciopricated if he doesn't make the effort to make sure you feel it. If you tell him how you feel and are still confused on your status or his feelings than its time to move on.
There are lots and lotsof guys, take your time. This one is obviously special, you'll never know if you don't atleast tell him. IThrow him the ball and see if he throws it back.
I'm worried you might just be homesick or lonely, I would also suggest volunteering or joining club or group, you don't have to find a boyfriend but you make make some great new friends who can help you with this, too.
You have a lot of courage to tell him. Good luck!
2006-09-21 12:41:55 · answer #2 · answered by Elle D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did this to a woman once.
I think it is because at the time I was not that happy with my life, I mean it was ok on most dimensions but somehow I considered myself pretty close to a complete failure at the time. So I did not feel "up to" a solid relationship. And I did not feel that I "deserved" her. But boy was I madly in love (and was she)! And boy was sex good, by the way.
In the end and after lots of on / off, plus two extended periods of long distance (how bad it would hurt not to be with her, day after day after day, can hardly be put in words), the relationship did come to an end (after about 3 years).
And boy did I suffer after that!
you can't go for something that strong and intense if you're not in perfect psychological shape, which I guess wasn't my case (I guess mountain climbers don't go for a wonderful summit unless they're in good shape, if they're not it can end up being a disaster).
By the time I had landed a great job after post grad studies, I improved but somehow it was too late.
You could, maybe, try to find out why this guy behaves the way he does. And try to get him out of some of his thought loops?
Good luck
2006-09-21 12:33:20 · answer #3 · answered by AntoineBachmann 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are the one complicating things. We don't think that much about it. Just go for it... You are in love with this guy, and you make it sound like he wants a commitment.
Who cares if you get hurt, at least you won't be sitting here on yahoo regretting for the rest of your life. You just have to ask yourself if you want to be happy or not?
2006-09-21 12:46:03 · answer #4 · answered by surfstranger77 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are making this more complicated than it is. Every woman does that though. I have always found just telling the person how you feel is the easiest way to find out how they feel. Then you can move on with your life or you life with him. If he doesn't tell you how he feels I would just move on he is probably not as into you as you are him.
2006-09-21 12:32:29 · answer #5 · answered by April 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel. Maybe a long distance relationship would work. I mean, if he talks to you like that, might as well be together. I would tell him your true feelings. Communication is the key in any relationship. Yes, try something, its never 'too long' to go after something you want or have a desire for.
2006-09-21 12:29:50 · answer #6 · answered by ConfusedK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u never gonna know how's he feel about u til u open up 2 him, ler him know how u feel, tell him what's on your mind, if he is da way u say he is than everything should work out, expect da best but b prepared 4 da worst, good luck.
2006-09-21 12:42:22 · answer #7 · answered by D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go with it this could be the thing he is waiting for and if it does go south on you atleast you can look back on it and say you tried if its in your heart and its meant to be it will be and if not its not
2006-09-21 12:32:49 · answer #8 · answered by adb1977 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call him and schedule time to meet. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and perhaps this is what you needed to see that he is the one for you
2006-09-21 12:30:15 · answer #9 · answered by Mike 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him. You will feel better once he knows. Then if he wants to pursue you, he can.
Leave the hard stuff to him:)
2006-09-21 12:36:05 · answer #10 · answered by agentm006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋