i feel that it's only now i'm realizing he's not coming home i feel so depressed i dont know what to do with myself i dont want to take antidepresants and dont feel ready to get some counsiling any one got any sugestions on how i can get myself over this really bad time
2006-09-21 05:14:29 · 15 answers · asked by dizzy_liz1954 1 in Health ➔ Other - Health
I am so sorry for your loss. I would urge you to please see your doctor about your depression. It is nothing to be ashamed of if you do take anti-depressants for just a little while. There are a lot of misconceptions about antidepressants. While it is not a "cure all" it will help you. I also advise you to talk to a pastor or a good friend if you do not feel comfortable going to a counselor. A lot of times, just making the appointment to go and knowing that you are going to get help will make a person feel better. I know the pain is hard for you and you will never get "over" it. You will just have to find a way to go on. Your husband wouldn't want you to stop living. Take one day at a time and try to find the beauty in each day. If you have children, focus on them. If you don't have a pet, I suggest you get one. It is proven that pets are great for a lot of things. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Good luck to you.
2006-09-21 05:22:50 · answer #1 · answered by Lorrie W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry. I think it's post traumatic shock. When you truly love someone and they are a part of you, you just miss them more as time goes on, rather than less. But you have obviously been standing still in time, and are isolated. I know the world is a scary place, but you have to carry on.
Reach out to people. Find yourself some help somewhere, with someone you can talk to professionally. I think you need to talk your feelings out, find people like you who are widowed and start living again. You didn't say how old you are, but if you are a senior, there are so many senior's places and they will support and comfort you. They have lost partners too.
It is a new life now, but one day you will be re-united. However, for today, your time is not finished. Think about what your husband would want you to do on your own. He wouldn't want you to just pine away and slip into misery.
Was your husband in the military? Or did he die away from you? That must be hard. It's almost like you didn't believe he was gone and are just starting to accept that now. I really feel for you. Hugs, and please don't give up. Grief can last a long, long time, but it's best to let it all out so you can move forward. Your husband will always be with you in your heart and you carry him with you always. He is never truly gone.
2006-09-21 05:24:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear about your state of mind.
It does take time to heal. Some people grief a shorter period of time while some others may need a longer time to overcome the feeling of loss of a loved one.
The person, who used to do things together, laughed and cried with you, has left a void both in your heart and mind. You could feel the empty space around you physically.
Time will eventually heal your grief once you have gone through the stages of mourning.
Meanwhile, I hope you may find some inspiration from an article on this link.
2006-09-21 05:29:15 · answer #3 · answered by FM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have answered all your own questions.
You are in fact depressed, it will be quite a struggle for you to get through this disease without treatment. Some folks tend to be embarrassed to seek help, but they should not be, this is a True Disease. If you have truly decided you don't want medicine and counseling then perhaps this will help.
*Don't Cry Because It's Over, Try To Smile, For The Life You Shared Together.
*Happiness Comes Through Doors, We Didn't Know, Were Left Open.
God Bless and Good Luck.
2006-09-21 05:27:28 · answer #4 · answered by Excel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are survivor meetings you can go to. If none are close to your home, start a group. You'd be surprised at how much non judgemental other surviors will be. You also need to work through the grief. It's unhealthy to be depressed, you owe yourself the full grieving process, then start a new hobby. The more your mind is involved with the new hobby, the less time it has to be depressed. You can volunteer at a homeless shelter, nursing home, etc. Talk to the elderly, most of them have lost loved ones and give great coping mechanisms.
2006-09-21 05:24:25 · answer #5 · answered by Gail H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two years is quite a long tome to be totally missing him. You need to get out and meet people by joining groups.
If you have no real interest outside of work or family, search for a hobby or true interest. There are many opportunities out there for you to be on the same page as others. Also consider volunteer work, there is a great need for this in many areas.
To sum it up, never mind the drugs or councelling, you can do this on your own.
Put one foot in front of the other and your azz will follow!
2006-09-21 05:56:26 · answer #6 · answered by busyfingers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can only imagine how you feel. I wonder if you have family and friends that could spend time with you, I realize they won't replace your loss, but keep your mind occupied. Depends where you live, try to join a support group or an activity club or organization. Talk to your husband, that might sound crazy - but just imagine that he is with you in spirit not in physical presence. Tell him your day - ask for advice. I did that at one point in my life, a very dear person got taken from me in an instance and all I could do is pretend he is now somewhere better. I used to talk to him, it made me very sad but a very peaceful feeling was following and over time I accepted the fact that he's gone. I am deeply sorry for your loss, just hang in there and keep faith!
2006-09-21 05:26:08 · answer #7 · answered by CC Top 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They may be some really good resoures online for you to try. Support online might be just what you need right now. I know I lost my mom and could not deal with it. (keep a secret I don't think I will ever DEAL WITH IT) But I work through it. I have lost so many of the people who were close to me in my life in the past 10years. The online community has been the best place for me to work through my heart break. You could always contact me at sdc3dfwm@yahoo.com
Take care- be well sending you a warm hug!
2006-09-21 05:25:19 · answer #8 · answered by sdc3dfwm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pray
Also, if you join some type of organization or find something your husband was passionate about and start some type of scholarship or memorial in his honor. Learn a need skill, or craft, go to your local community college and take a contiuning education course just find some other outlet that would require thinking therefore you will find you have less time to constantly beat yourself up. My heart goes out to you but seriously say a prayer as simple as I love you but I have to live my life. I cherish our moments but I have to live my life, I miss you but I have to live my life , I______fill in the blank__________________ but I have to live my life and after a while keep saying this to your self when ever things present themselve to you mentally and eventually you will believe you have to live your life and you'll start doing it.
God Bless
BE ENCOURAGED
2006-09-21 05:24:25 · answer #9 · answered by mrsoliviawilson 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Medication might help temporarily, but counseling is really what you need. Remember---everyone grieves differently so don't feel bad that you are having a hard time right now. You will get through it.
See a psychiatrist with grief counseling experience.
2006-09-21 05:17:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋