will someone tell me what they think of my poem?

Question

I stare
into the pool
Clear and full of water
And I dream of a world
Were everyone is a pure
As the water in front of me
I think of the world
And the pool clouds over
But as I think of the love I feel
Deep in my soul
The pool clears
And I am soaring high in the sky
I am happy
Happy in the sky
Forever painted
In with the clouds
As I soar
I feel the life in me
And the hope I feel
And I know who I am
And why I am here

ya i know its a little well .... you know but whatever

Answer 1

It's ok.....needs a little work

Answer 2

It's a good start, but it feel s a bit shallow...like you're trying to express your deepest, BUT want to keep it safe....I get teh feeling that this is the tip of your iceburg, & 90% of your message is still kept safely hidden. describe the pool in finer detail, give more about the pool clouding over--is it reflecting the clouds in the sky or your own emotions?, What is making the pool clear & you soar?
As for it being "a little well...you know" it's a great start, but you've got more in you that needs to come out, so let it soar & inspire the rest of us!

Answer 3

I truly believe you are a dear soft spirit and your writing shows this. You are showing talent, and should not stop writing about your deepest feelings.

Answer 4

Inspirational, like they put on those crystal praying hands things.

Answer 5

I think it is very good.I write poems myself. I enjoyed yours. Keep up the good work

Answer 6

its a great poem. im in an english class and i personally think its great. my friends are sitting around me and they think its deep.

Answer 7

Its nice and its a reflection of your feeling..............so its all good.