never worked before so I had a casual look, you know, jeans & tennis shoes & that, & when I had to get a job I started buying clothes for the office & had to wear make up, which I had never done, so I didnt have much idea about this stuff, I've tried to do my best, bearing in mind that it’s a small office & that people don't go dressed & made up as if they worked for Donald Trump. My mom keeps telling me that i should buy elegant suits & fancy clothes & that i should use more make up & that i should try more hairstyles (she has the farrah fawcet style) & well I'm no gisele bundchen, but i feel good, i like the way i look & the clothes i wear & i admit i'm not that comfortable wearing the office clothes, but hey! i'm new at this & she makes me feel i have no style at all, & smtimes she makes me feel so bad i dont even wanna go to work, sometimes when she's telling me all this i tell her i feel fine & she gets offended & stops, but the next day its all the same, what's wrong with her?
2006-09-21 05:08:33 · 7 answers · asked by Mossespa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Whats wrong with her??? Shes a mom, its her job to be on your case and always fussing over you. I bet she doesnt mean to make you feel bad but when she see's you she see's the prettiest girl in the world and she probably thinks to herself "my gorgeous girl, why doesnt she do more to play up what she has??". I think she means well she just has a piss poor way of showing it. What i think you need to do is make a compromise with her! Let her take you out shopping once...when you pick out a simple pair of slacks and a plain blouse and she picks out a fancy suit try meeting somewhere in the middle. A lot of suits nowdays are sold as seperates...buy the slacks from the suit she likes and the simple blouse you picked out! Then go have your hair done together...let her make some suggestions but remind her that its your hair and you need to feel good about it too. Not only will this make your mom feel like your listening to her and that you appreciate her advice but you will have some bonding time with her and hopefully get her to chill a little too. And you know what???? In the end, even if you have to wear something your not crazy about, shes your mom and making her happy is important, she did bring you into the world after all. But!!! Dont let her get out of control! Thank her for caring about you and how you present yourself but remind her your office is casual and dressing up is kinda new to you!!! Your mom loves ya and since you two are living together finding some middle groud is VERY important!
Good luck honey!
By the way...sorry to hear things were tough with your dad!
2006-09-21 06:14:01 · answer #1 · answered by christine a 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have criticized the way one of my daughter's dresses too, but for different reasons. I sometimes have to remind her that how she dresses (semi-hoochie) will give some people a bad first impression. In your case however, you're a working girl in an office, and it sounds like you are dressing appropriately for that setting. You can take clues from the other employees around you. You never want to overdress in the office because that just looks silly. Has your mom always criticized you? Is she one of those mom's where nothing you do is good enough? If so, there's nothing you can do about her, because she's pretty set in her ways by now. You can try sitting her down on a weekend when you don't have to go to work and tell her how her constant criticism makes you feel. Tell her you are young, and you are comfortable with yourself and her nagging is starting to affect you in a negative way. Tell her that unless your skirt is tucked into your pantyhose, or your makeup is neon pink or something, that you would prefer if she just keep her comments to herself. Then tell her you love her!
2006-09-21 12:18:53 · answer #2 · answered by karen W 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Every time she criticizes your clothing, offer to go with her to the store that same day while SHE buys more suitable clothes for you. Ask her to pay for the make-up and the haircut too. In other words, get her to put her money where her mouth is.
Your job is to take control over the conversation and put her on the spot and get you off of it. Another trick is to tell her, "your right," and then change the subject. She is getting some sort of kick out of seeing you squirm, so if you agree and then change the subject, she has nothing to do. DO NOt get sarcastic and say "whatever" or something similar as she knows she has you riled up. Stay neutral and friendly.
Say "thanks" and give her a kiss even. She won't know what the hell to do with that!
2006-09-21 13:21:56 · answer #3 · answered by adamsjrcn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should try this...tell your mom if she doesn't like your clothes and she wants you to buy really nice suits then to buy them for you...or you should just let her do a make-over for you for at least 1 day. See if her style works for you...if it doesn't then at least you know you tried and it and then you can talk to your mom and tell that she has to accept your styles and you don't appreciate her comments! Again, I think you should try it, because maybe you'll like it, and she might have a point. Sometimes we see yourselves fine, but other people see how you really do you look. Now if doesn't work for you then go back to your style. I won't hurt to try it..... good luck
2006-09-21 12:19:46 · answer #4 · answered by Maria A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might be her way of trying to be involved in your life as your mother. You probably do look fine, but mother's always tend to know best. Nicer clothes last longer so that might be her reasoning there. Talk to her about how you appreciate her interest, but you would rather ask if you would like her opinion on style.
2006-09-21 12:15:56 · answer #5 · answered by Shelley 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
People who criticize all the time do it because they feel bad about themselves and project it on other people. Just ignore her. If YOU feel good about how you look, that is what matters. I have to ask, does she have Farrah's hairdo from the 70's or now? lol Looking like Farrah is nothing to be proud of if it is how she looks now, Farrah is a drunk. lol
2006-09-21 12:12:36 · answer #6 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
tll her you will choose your own clothes Period and please bug off
2006-09-21 12:11:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋