1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat in this?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?
What makes these questions so difficult is that each one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e. tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.
Question #1: What are you thinking about? The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you."
This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following: a. "Football." b. "Golf." c. "How fat you are." d. "How I would spend the insurance money if you died."
Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!"
Question #2: Do you love me? The proper response is: "Yes!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear."
Inappropriate responses include: a. "Oh yeah, sh*tloads." b. "Would it make you feel better if I said yes?" c. "That depends on what you mean by love." d. "Does it matter?" e. "Who, me?"
Question #3: Do I look fat? The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!"
Incorrect answers are: a. "Compared to what?" b. "I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin." c. "A little extra weight looks good on you." d. "I've seen fatter." e. "Sorry, what did you say? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died."
Question #4: Do you think she's prettier than me? Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!"
Incorrect responses include: a. "Yes, but you have a better personality." b. "Not prettier, but definitely thinner." c. "Not as pretty as you when you were her age." d. "Define pretty." e. "Sorry what did you say? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died."
Question #5: What would you do if I died? A definite no-win question. (The real answer, of course, is "Buy a Ferrari and a boat.")
No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along these lines:
Woman: Would you get married again?
Man: Definitely not!
Woman: Why not -- don't you like being married?
Man: Of course I do.
Woman: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
Man: Okay, I'd get married again.
Woman: You would? (With a hurtful look on her face)
Man: (audible groan)
Woman: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
Man: Where else would we sleep?
Woman: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?
Man: That would seem like the proper thing to do.
Woman: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
Man: She can't use them -- she's left-handed.
Woman: (silence)
Man: Sh*t.
2006-09-21 04:56:18 · 17 answers · asked by DefenderOfTheMeek22 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
That's not funny.
2006-09-21 04:58:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
I have had My ex husband answer these same questions when I asked them just to see what He said. No, I didn't actually want to know, I was smart enough know these very questions are things that men, simply do not think about. The nature, and differences between Men and women.
1. What are you thinking about?
The answer was: Nothing.
I want to know how someone can think of nothing. Even if they blank out their mind they are thinking about blanking out their mind. *sighs* The woman in Me I suppose.
2. Do you love Me?
The answer was: I said I loved you once. If anything changes, Ill let you know.
3. Do you think I look fat in this?
The answer was: No, Site makes you look fat. *sighs*...He got socked in the arm for that one.
4. Do you think she is prettier than Me?
The answer: Your bi, what are you worried about?..
5. What would you do if I died?
Well, I would not remarry, Which was partly good, but when he had a wife after 3 wks of the finalization of our divorce that told Me what he was really thinking...
2006-09-21 12:10:08 · answer #2 · answered by Enigma 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Really cute. Got that last part in an email before...
2006-09-21 12:05:16 · answer #3 · answered by Candilaria 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she talks like that after she's older than 25 run away from home.
2006-09-21 11:58:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
fotcrotflmao = fell off the chair, rolling on the floor laughing my a** off!
2006-09-21 12:47:41 · answer #5 · answered by tangie1247 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Haha its sooo funny and sooooooo true, good one dude!!
2006-09-21 12:01:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I prefer truth.
2006-09-21 23:21:42 · answer #7 · answered by jfmm 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why,why,why is this funny? Only because basically it's true!?
2006-09-21 12:01:12 · answer #8 · answered by lauren m 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hahaha
2006-09-23 16:25:31 · answer #9 · answered by ze_blue_mage 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You so crazy!! lol...This is hilarious!!! You know women...
2006-09-21 12:01:37 · answer #10 · answered by Poetess_4U 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
rotflmao
2006-09-21 12:01:42 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋