okay, i had an unexpected situtation arrise that i would like to go out of town for--my widowed mother is getting married, in vegas, last minute. obviously i'd like to go. the problem i have is who to leave my kids 2.5 years, and 4 months with. the only person i know who doesn't work, and can watch them is my sister-in-law, who has a 2.25 year old. unfortunately, this little girl swears, really, really, really badly, intentionally--vulgar insults at that. probably every 5 mins or so. my kid does not swear, i have no doubt that before our plane would even touch ground in vegas, his vocab would be twice as colorful compared to when we left.
the only other thing i can think to do is ask a few other family members, but they would have to take off time at work cuz it's during the week (tues-thurs) and i'd feel really bad, esp on such short notice.
what should i do? leave him with my s-i-l? or suck it up and ask around even if it means someone missing work? what would YOU do?
2006-09-21 04:47:22 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
it's not that i don't "trust" my s-i-l, i do, very much--in fact she is my lil one's godmother. i would never leave them if i wasn't 100% that they'd be in great hands!! i just want to avoid coming home knowing i'm going to have to retrain my 2 year old not to swear--we've already done it once. if he went there and spent 3 days with his cousin where everyone laughs and thinks it's cute when she does it, it's just not gonna be easy.
as for other family members, they jump at the chance to watch my kids. i stay home with them so nobody really gets a chance to watch them very often...someone might already even be off work cuz not everyone works m-f 9-5, but i wouldn't know til i asked.
and far as my mom getting married in vegas...she doesn't have a lot of money, and they are already going to be there, my sister is going to be performing the ceremony. my mom in no way pressured us to be there, we would like to go if it works out. if it doesn't she'll understand.
2006-09-21 05:13:06 · update #1
You asked "what would YOU do?", my answer is, let your mom take pictures of the wedding because your kids are more important than being there to see her get married. She knows you have those children, her grandchildren, so she should understand if you don't make it to the wedding.
If she wanted a lot of friends & family to witness her joyous occassion she could have done it where you live & not in Vegas.
2006-09-21 04:51:50 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You could consider taking the kids as a few others have suggested. (I'd ask your Mom first about them being at the wedding... its her day.) I know it can be expensive and exhausting to travel with kids, and I'm not sure how hard it would be with a 4 month old, or what the rules are for travel... especially these days. But, if you are trying to keep the cost down, you could look into renting a trailer (RV) while you are out there. You and the kids, hubbie, etc. could stay in it, and you could cook instead of buying food. There used to be a few hotels that would rent space for RV's behind their lots with gas hook-ups, etc. (Circus Circus for one). Then, since you'd have other family there, they could help if they were willing if you and your husband needed a hand.
Also, you could look at staying in a condo or a suite which would also have extra rooms and appliances... maybe even splitting one with another family member.
If you decide its too much to do or to spend that way, could you consider offering to pay one of the relatives that would have to take off work? It might help cushion the blow of them taking days off. Consider it like 3 days of daycare.
The language thing is up to you. I'm not sure what I think of an environment where anyone is allowed to speak like that with children around, esp. the child. But, to each his own.
Good luck to you. All things considered, just make sure your Mom knows how much you would like to be there and how happy you are.
On a side note, I know its a little pricey, but if you can't go, you could consider getting your Mom a video camera for her wedding present with the stipulation that she has to have someone tape the wedding for you. It would probably cost less than plane tickets anyway. And, it would be a nice gift and show your Mom how much you want to see her big moment.
Good luck! And congrats to your Mom.
2006-09-22 23:09:44 · answer #2 · answered by Amalthea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is too bad when you have something you really want to do and you need to decide on a not-so-good sitter. But I think the decision comes down to you or your kids in which case your kids should come first. Seems like your sister in law isn't a very good parent if she lets her child talk like that (and the kid has to get it from somewhere!!!)
I would ask other people. If they can they will, if not they won't. Obviously you wouldn't do this just to go out for the day. Your mom's wedding is pretty important and people will understand!
2006-09-21 12:01:46 · answer #3 · answered by butterfliesbrown 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is last minute then you probably aren't going to be able to find quality child care. You aren't going to leave kids with your in-laws or you wouldn't even be asking this question. And if you do, you will be worried the whole time. This may sound mean, but if your mom is getting married in Vegas in the spur of the moment, than you probably will have a chance to catch her next wedding instead.
2006-09-21 13:27:54 · answer #4 · answered by jasenwhetstone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not leave your kids with your sister-in-law, her kids had to learn those bad habits somewhere! I'd ask around to other family members that you trust, when you ask them tell them that it's alright if they say no. If everyone says no then just stay home. I know it might suck to miss your mom's wedding but when you've got kids people understand that they're your biggest responsibility. If you're only going to be gone for a couple days you could also ask a trusted friend. Bottom line, I wouldn't leave your kids with anyone who has questionable ways they raise their kids.
2006-09-21 12:01:46 · answer #5 · answered by starsmoak 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would be nice if you could go and take your kids, but if you can't then stay home. Your mother should understand. After all it is last minute, and if children cannot attend she won't be surprised. Its her wedding and if it is really important to her that you attend she would have given more time and worked out a way. I think if your neice swears every FIVE MINUTES, that is an awful lot of exposure. Sorry about your predicament.
2006-09-21 13:41:07 · answer #6 · answered by Heather B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mabe you should try speaking to your sister about the reason why don't want to really leave the children there. But if you don't feel comfortable with leaving them there don't. I don't leave my child anywhere, i'm going to be worried about anything or feeling uncomfortable of whats going on while I am not there. I like my mind to be at ease. As being I a new mother I relized, the worst thing is to be worried about your kid to much while your away. You won't enjoy yourself no matter where you are.
2006-09-21 12:09:23 · answer #7 · answered by cherish 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just mention it the people that work and get their reaction, (if it were me i'd be looking for a good reason to miss work :-) if no one takes you up on it then either take them with you or don't go. I know you want to and you probably deserve a break, but your kids are your priority.
2006-09-21 14:12:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would NEVER EVER leave my children with anybody I was not comfortable with 100%. These are my children, parts of me, my future. Its my responsibility to make sure my children are safe all day everyday.
I think its irresponsible and selfish to put your children's surroundings are risk to attend a wedding. I think its asking too much to ask a family member to miss work to watch your children.
I think that when people become parents, their children come first. Relationships with parents should come second.
2006-09-21 11:57:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really feel bad about leaving your kids with your sister-inlaw id ask around your other family members thay can only say no and if all else fails take them with you
2006-09-21 11:55:25 · answer #10 · answered by vicky s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋