Alright, me and my guy have had it extremly hard the past 3 month and we are just starting to get our personal lives back in order...here is my problem, I think I annoy him, I mean it's small things like I will talk about something he is not intrested in and he will say "Man I ain't tryna hear that right now" then I get upsat & try to explain why I was talkin bout that perticular subject & then he IS upsat, so then I am like why are you so petty, & it almost feels like he is absolutly turned off by me for the rest of the day, the week or sometimes even longer then that, then he will say "you talk a hundered words a minute in my ear"(rolling his eyes & sighing) this makes me feel so bad...because I love to talk & when we first met we talked so much about anything and now it seems like nothing I say is worth his time or his attention...and some say back up and give him space, when I do that he doesn't care it just gets worse...I wish I could be the woman of his dreams like I used to be!
2006-09-21 04:26:49 · 19 answers · asked by $D*Da*Spoild*1$ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You have both survived a rough 3 months. He wants it to be over. You keep bringing it up. Let it be resolved. You can talk to him but it will have to be about him for now. Ask him how was his day. And just listen. No comments. Remember how he romanced you when you were the girl of his dreams and return the action. Take a walk together, just to get out of the house. Mention anything positive that comes your way. Keep conversations about anything negative between you and a friend. Take him out of that loop. Let him laugh, tell him a joke or rent a comedy. He'll lighten up.
2006-09-21 04:37:08 · answer #1 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It should not matter if what you say is repetitive to him; if he loves you, he should listen, and go "Ok, baby." He should not put you down! What you need to do is FLIP THE SCRIPT! You stop talking to him all together! IGNORE him for 3 days! Do not call him, do not respond to his emails. If you don't give him the cold should all together, then just say a few words when he taklks, like 'uh huh,' and basically ignore him when you are sitting next to him. This is a common mistake made by many men! HOW DO YOU EXPECT FOR YOUR WOMAN TO RESPOND TO YOUR ROMANCE IF YOU CANNOT LET HER VENT OR CHATTER ON EVERY NOW AND AGAIN?! Men do this too, by the way! My boyfriend the other day called me in the morning when I was going to school and asked me in a frantic cry for help where a certain building was. I told him, and he got angry cause there was no parking, and do you know he started cussing all sorts of people out! I sat there and I listened! I listened because I care, and I want him to be able to vent his anger to me, and know I will not judge him OR be turned off by him!
There will come a time when your little ungrateful boyfriend will want to vent. If he is willing to vent out his frustration on you, but you can't depend on him to do the same, then I suggest you reevaluate this relationship! It may not mean the same to him as it does to you!
2006-09-21 11:39:09 · answer #2 · answered by marquella_la_nice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, you are not the problem. In a relationship where two people love each other each takes time to listen to the other even if they aren't interested in the subject. You don't get upset with the love of your life because they are talking about something your not interested in. The truth is he probably listened to you early on in the relationship because he knew that was the only way to get you. Now he has you, which is what he wanted, but he no longer cares to do the things a person in love does. You were only the woman of his dreams when he couldn't have you. I know that sounds terrible, but I really believe he just used you and isn't really in love with you. You need to move on without him in your life and find a man who loves you and listens to you no matter what simply because he cares about you.
2006-09-21 11:33:16 · answer #3 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well its like this. We are sometimes first drawn to people for their differences from us, the problem is that over time those very differences may annoy us. I seriously doubt backing off and giving him space will alleviate the situation in fact I suspect the situation will grow worse no matter what you do short of changing your entire personality and becoming a yes woman. Unless you want to live your life caving in to other people and attempting to be how they want you to be, Run. Find someone that falls for you not because your a novelty or for some other stupid *** reasons but because they like you just the way you are.
2006-09-21 11:35:35 · answer #4 · answered by cuedainyag 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm. Sounds alot like me and my ex. We tried to use interpersonal communication but things got out of hand between us. The simple answer is just to STOP. If I had just STOPPED and been the listener, things would have been better. Its time you did the listening, because if you are doing all the talking and he's annoyed by it, HELLO! That is the problem! That is the same problem I had. My ex never got to say what was on her mind in a healthy way, and we argued consistently. And I became aggressive for some reason. I didn't know I was that aggressive sometimes, I never grew out of my adolescence apparently!
2006-09-21 11:31:45 · answer #5 · answered by The Lonely Skywolf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I could understand his frustration after reading that lonnnnnnnnng explanation when the caption said it all.
My advise to you - Just SHUT UP and let him be. You said you guys just came out of a tough 3 months. He is just trying to relax after that time. You may think you are you are doing a good thing, but to him it's just incessant jabbering about nothing that interests him.
He listened at the begining because it was a new relationship and he was being attentive ( not to say he shouldn't still be), but let the man breathe a little and don't let your constant talking talk him right out the door.
2006-09-21 11:36:51 · answer #6 · answered by solgiver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a guy but realize that you accept him for his good & bad sides so he must do the same for you. Maybe try to be more sensitive to when he's having a "moment" and be there but don't say a lot until he seems to want to talk. But don't change entirely, he should love you no matter what. Give him some space when needed.
2006-09-21 11:30:05 · answer #7 · answered by COblonde 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can just shut up sometimes and do something he likes to do or talk about something he's interested in. Do you watch sports?If not you need to start. Watch it with him. Remember what you use to be like. Why were you the girl of his dreams? Did he like it when you complimented him? What things did you both enjoy doing together? You gotta ask yourself these questions or you gone loose him. And again to re-emphasize: SHUT UP! sometimes, you are annoying him, you annoyed me with all these words....!
2006-09-21 11:39:56 · answer #8 · answered by Stasia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally would leave him, and soon. He sounds like a jerk, and obviously has lost interest in you as anything more than something to f**k. I hate to be blunt, but you really need to open your eyes and see the guy for what he really is.
2006-09-21 11:32:21 · answer #9 · answered by Darqblade 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A relationship must be reciprocal if you talk he must listen, if he talks you must listen. However, if he just doesn't talk, does not make the effort to listen, and constantly shuts you up.... you are better of without him. A guy that is not your friend and does not listen to you is not your guy, that simple.
2006-09-21 11:35:16 · answer #10 · answered by Kamy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋