My best friend is straight, I understand that sexuality varies and one person can never be completely straight nor completely gay.
My problem is this: We're both 19, I've gone to school with him since we were in kindergarden. We are very close I know he loves me as his best friend, and I wan't to love him in the same way. He knows i'm gay and we joke about it all the time, he's great. We agreed to get a place together and become roomates. But just recently i've began to notice how attracted I am to him.
I'm not stupid, i know he's straight and I know that a best friend relationship like this isn't worth ruining, regardless of how much I love him. It's hard to think about it but i know the only thing i can do is try to get over him. Spending less time with him isn't an option. we hang out everyday, we talk about everything, he needs me just as I need him. He is my world, and I don't wan't to love him if he can't love me in the same way. Please i need some advide. DG
2006-09-21 04:11:38 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to realize that love and sex are two separate things. You love him as a friend, and you are also sexually attracted to him. But he is not sexually attracted to you. Therefore do not try to not love him, but simply realize that he will not possibly ever be sexually attracted to you.
This is not to state he would never want to try having sex with you, or that he wouldn't enjoy it if he did, but realize, even if he does, he may just be experimenting, and not really in-love with you like that. So don't make the mistake of thinking it is more than it is, until such time that he himself is ready to commit to it being so. Otherwise you will drive him away in friendship as well.
2006-09-21 04:27:02 · answer #1 · answered by eric l 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the only thing you can do is always be aware of the fact that yes you love him but it will never be a possibility and try to find some one else .... I'm sure the attraction came because you know he is such a great guy but you have to just try to convince yourself to get over it or you will be miserable trust me I have been in love with someone for 10 years we were actually married before and have kids and i know i can't be with him because it wouldn't be healthy for me but it is torture to see him be with other people but finally these past two years i just saw it for what it was i would rather us have a great friendship than nothing at all ... GOOD LUCK
2006-09-21 04:19:30 · answer #2 · answered by Muy Buena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The ever present I'm in love with one of the straights problem- been there.
Your attraction may be part loneliness, part accessibility. Its great to have a friend who understands you and accepts you and its also quite rare, so don't give it up.
The best way to get over him is find someone to date. Expand your world! Join some local gay groups, check out the scenery.
2006-09-21 04:17:42 · answer #3 · answered by beauty_of_crime 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since he is your best friend.... you have no other choice but to respect his wishes and be thankful for the friendship you have.
You will always love him, it wont change, but if you begin dating some other men you may find that your attraction to your friend is what it is a great friendship =)
You are very lucky to have found a friend you care so much for it is a blessing, I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize it - you would hate to loose him for a friend. As you know sexual preference isn't a choice, and if he is straight, you know deep down you aren't able to change that =)
Best of luck =)
2006-09-21 04:13:53 · answer #4 · answered by ♥ goddessofraine ♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when you turn 21 get him drunk and then he'll be more honest about thimgs with you...i think you gotta find out if there is a chance that he would be with you in that way. if not just turn off those feelings asap! or you may loose him as a best friend... the risk of trying to make him more than a best friend is not worth f***ing up what you 2 have now... remember best friends are forever unless you screw it up:( be carefull friend
2006-09-21 04:36:31 · answer #5 · answered by JUSTIN 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a hard one for you. Maybe it would be best for you to tell him how you feel about him so he can help you solve the problem. Or you could look for another room mate somewhere else and still stay friends. Hope I have helped. I know will be hard for you to tell him, but if you are really good friends, he will understand where you are coming from.
2006-09-21 04:17:12 · answer #6 · answered by MissySue 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Maybe if you were willing to give up your gay lifestyle you could be more comfortable around him. quit obsessing - try not being so gay and your attraction will change in its nature. I know that gays are obsessed with sexual activity and if you point your mind in a different direction your life will follow - those who tell you it is not true are either deceived or jealous.
2006-09-21 04:20:04 · answer #7 · answered by Suzie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are going to have to be honest with your friend and tell him how you feel. It may not be such a good idea to move in together.
2006-09-21 04:14:25 · answer #8 · answered by IthinkFramptonisstillahottie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you're right that you would harm your friendship if you pressed the issue.
2006-09-21 04:15:14 · answer #9 · answered by Byakuya 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
just get over it! Theres nothing you can ever do about it, go out and find someone else or your going to drive yourself insane!
OR! stop talking to him completely...you probably think you'll die if that happens but you wont....he's not crack and your not addicted to him......
2006-09-21 04:15:29 · answer #10 · answered by Melia 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋