My son is very small for his age(he's 7). Kids often tease him because of that. He gets very aggressive and will either lash out or cry when he gets home. I was very small when I was his age as well(no, we're not "little people".). How can I give him advice about how to deal with this when I had such a hard time myself?(I ended up beating the kids up with my lunch box, but my son is very tender hearted.). What advice would you give to your child?
2006-09-21 04:09:36 · 16 answers · asked by SB's cafe 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I got made fun of in school, in fact, i got beat up and ostracized even in middle and highschool.
The best thing he can do is learn empathy for the bullies, and gain confidence in himself. He needs to learn that what people think of him means nothing about how good a friend he can be.
Start teaching him now that it doesnt matter if he has lots of friends, and lots of people like him, what matters is that he's a friend to other people. He's a smart, cool, neat kid, and there are lots of other children out there who maybe dont have a friend. OR, like these mean kids, dont know HOW to be a friend.
it give him purpose and confidence to know that he can still provide something to his peers besides being the whipping boy.
And, since he's this age now, you can easily build him up before his peers. Talk to the teacher about him possibly bringing in a snack of cupcakes for the class. Or maybe you can ask if you can come in and do a fun cookie decorating session on behalf of your child. Have him announce it to the class and give all the information about it.
You can also help by entertaining what friends he does have in his class, let them come over from time to time.
Call the parents of one or two of the bullies, take them out of their element and see if the parent would mind brining them over for a play date. While theyre over be sure to make your kid the cool one. Take them to mc d's to play in the hampster tubes, or to the kids' favorite park or activity.
Once he has something in common with one or two of the bullies, he'll learn that theyre just kids like him, and they'll learn that he's not so different after all.
I know too what its like to be the odd one out. What you want to do most of all while he's at this age is bulid up his confidence. You've got the upper hand with him at this age, you can still control his social environment, and who is in it.
Works like a charm :)
2006-09-21 04:18:35 · answer #1 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is true when they say that kids can be the cruelest of all. Im in my 40s now and to think of some of the things I did, or had done to me makes me wince,
Now onto your son. FIrst if it is not a medical condition let him know that he is perfect- I would encourage him to try sports and become part of a team. THis will not end it all but the success he may find there is great for his self confidence-if not sports, art, music, it will all help his confidence-
If it is in school, i would speak to the school without my son knowing it-see if they can keep an eye out there-I say without him knowing beacuse nothing brings on more teasing than mom and dad are fighting your battles.
also, let him know that it will pass-they are not teasing him about his height---they tease him because THEY have issues-
I
2006-09-21 04:24:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dynamite comes in small packages. I can't imagine how to deal with this. Children can be so cruel. You don't want it to go so far that your son has an emotional problem- but fighting won't stop it either. Maybe make a call to his teacher without him knowing -ask her to be more aware and put a stop to it. You can't have your son go tattle all the time but if it is that upsetting to him his teacher should be aware and taking a role in stopping it. Everyone grows at different rates. I was always one of the smallest kids in class but now I am one of the tallest out of all my friends. Good Luck.
2006-09-21 12:45:48 · answer #3 · answered by therealprinsess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Santa Claus is short too: a lot of nice people are. Those who are big sometimes find they get what they want BECAUSE they're big. Then they sometimes use their size to make other people give them their way. Smaller people don't have size: only kindness. They learn to be patient, to wait, not to be aggressive or bullying or mean. They learn to ask for what they want, to negotiate, to think of the needs of others and not only of themselves. This is why shorter people are more likely to turn out like Santa Claus. Oh, sure, all the big guys grow up to be Arnold the Action Hero, score all the points, win the game, get the attention. The little guys grow up to be Santa Claus.
2006-09-21 04:21:14 · answer #4 · answered by crispy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is to ignore it, the more attention he gives these kids that tease him, the worse the teasing will get, b/c he lets them see that it is bothering him. I work @ a middle school, where kids in all grades are short for their age. Tell him in a few years he will have a growth spurt.
2006-09-21 04:20:35 · answer #5 · answered by purplek 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an issue dear to my heart. My son is almost 60 lbs and he's 13, and he is tiny. I have told him what my Mom told me (a million times)..."Good things come in small packages". But this is a BOY.
So I would advise him to tell the kid(s) that are teasing him that this hurts him. or makes him sad, or makes him angry (althou I discourage this approach).
It needs to be in the "I" form and tell the kids how it affects him. Then he should walk away, rather than fighting.
2006-09-21 18:23:30 · answer #6 · answered by Barbara A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your son not to mind the kids bullying him! Maybe when he is older he might even be taller then them. I too had an experience like that when I was 8, people bullied me cause I was short, but when I grew-up I was taller than most of them!
2006-09-22 01:05:26 · answer #7 · answered by me, myself and I 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as i would like to say clobber the buggars, thats no answer. Tell your son to laugh and say, I'll meet you in high school when I'm 6 foot 2! That oughta shut them up!
2006-09-21 04:27:06 · answer #8 · answered by gemm77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may try reminding him about how many "famous" people there were (and still are) throughout the world who are considered "short"!
Here's a good list: http://members.shaw.ca/harbord/heights3.html
Short in stature does not mean one is short in talent or brains!
Best of luck to you.
2006-09-21 04:17:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just tell him to laugh it off. Maybe you could try pointing out something wrong with the other kids to make him feel better.
2006-09-21 04:15:34 · answer #10 · answered by Virginia Gal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋