Being on a budget! What measures should be taken??

Question

Ok, this has to do with my husbands and my bills and us trying to get back ahead on bills and savings.
We haven't gone out to eat (something not a luxory for us, it was something we did every night), we are buying groceries for breakfast lunch and dinners, we are not buying beer four times a week like we were I limited us to once a week, i have not gone shopping in who knows how long (well except for groceries)........ I not going to Express and buying hundreds of dollars of clothes and going to Clinique and spending money on makeup... i am usin walmart brands etc.....
Ok, that is the background of my question........ Why am doing all these things (cause guess who cooks everynight??) and making all these sacrifices, if my husband gets to use the toll roads costing us $120.00 a month just to make it home 30 minutes faster? And why does he get to go to home depot and buy tools and things he could borrow from someone?
Do you think he should be limited too?

The reason he wants to use the toll is simply so he can cone home faster. I understand that and yet when he gets home I still cook, I still clean I still Feed the dog..... He only waters the grass and plays on teh computer. Ok I think that on some days when we have something planned or whatever on his fridays he can use the toll... but not everyday...... i could find a million and 1 thigs i'd rather spend $120 on then giving it to the city of houston for the hardy toll road!!!!!!!!!

BTW... we have no kids

Oh, by the last comment i just read, he makes more than i do.... He works for BNSF Railroad it is a good job. i would rather him be on a yard job that is 5 days a week normal hours than be on a road job where he is gone days out of the week and has more of a chance to get hurt!!

I hate adding this, but we are coming from money loss from one of our cars being flooded and the cost for the deductible, money i HAD to pay back from a loan, money i lost from not working due to a surgery i HAD to have. We have no dredit cards, just a high mortgage and car payments and who doesn't have a high electricity bill in sept if you live in houston.

Answer 1

Whenever my husband and I have a problem like this, we make a list of pros and cons. We're sort of going through the same thing right now. What are the pros of him getting home faster? Is he making money with the time that he saves? Is he making money with the tools he buys? This sort of analysis is usually a peaceful way for us to sort things out.

Answer 2

Yeah, both of you should have a balance of spending. Maybe the toll roads could be used only if you have plans and he needs to get home or something (although I know how it is to commute and it sucks). And maybe he should have a budget for his "spending money" - when it's gone, it's gone. Your budget should match his. You don't have to spend it, you can always put it in your own "savings" for something you might want later. In return, if he insists on using the toll roads, maybe he should cook supper on the days he does and has that extra 30 minutes at home. And maybe you need to cook out of a can one night a week or something. I think you probably need to sit down with a paper and pen and really tell him you have stress over this. He should respect that you need to talk and work on the budget. I have the same problem with my husband. I do the finances and he's always coming up with "fun" stuff to do, like going to the zoo (2 hours away) and stuff like that, and I'm always the party-pooper who has to give him a reality check when it comes to money. He wants savings, but doesn't want to save. Hmmm.

Answer 3

First, before anyone decides what limitations are made on what or whom.... Did both of you sit down and decide on this budget or was it more one sided? In a family situation, you both need to sit down, decide what's important for you mental well being as well as your financial well being. A budget is only as good as you're willing to make it.

Also, things such as a toll pass to allow him home 30 minutes faster... how do you equate home time versus road time? If he's working 5 days a week, that's 150 minutes per week of time he has with you and the family. Is the $6 a day(figuring he's only working 20 days out of the month) he spends on the toll more important than the time it creates for your family or not?

As for borrowing items, it's possible that he's not comfortable doing so. Sure, both of you need to make concessions... but make sure they're reasonable and acceptable for both parties.

Look, a budget has to be well balanced for it to succeed. The point of a budget is not to make you feel restricted. It's a tool to help you manage your monies in a more economical fashion. If you didn't sit back and look at exactly where you're spending your money before you made the budget up, you short changed yourself right there.

Another common mistake in making a budget is thinking that you have to pay out more to each and every bill you have. The best thing you can do is decide which of your bills has the highest interest rate and focus on that bill first. Continue to pay the minumum balances on the rest and put whatever extra you would have divided up into that one debt. Once that's paid off, focus on the next higher interest bearing debt. Continue until you're living as debt free as possible. It took time for you to get into debt, it's going to take time to get out. But if you're going to make yourselves miserable over the budget, then you're going to lose out on a lot more than debt!

Answer 4

Fair is fair. He should be on a budget also. We sacrificed so I could stay at home and raise our children. I went so far as to sew my clothes and my daughters clothes when possible. I know what it is like to buy cheap cosmetics instead of Estee Lauder that I had used. He should be willing to help out. Maybe he could cut his use of the toll roads in half at least. Is there a Harbor Freight in your area? They sell tools, etc at cheap prices. Perhaps he can borrow and use them for the stuff he must buy. Good luck.

Answer 5

Yeah definitely, you both need to make sacrifices...although I sympathize with your husband on the toll road issue, time = money and I HATE sitting in traffic!

As far as the tools and other stuff goes, I think you both need to set $ amounts for how much you should spend per week on random stuff that you really don't NEED.

Answer 6

Two ways out your problem. Spend less. Or Earn more. The later is the best option. Your husband needs to pull more of the weight by bringing home more bacon.

Answer 7

Yes, you both need to sit down and figure out what your goal is, and then budget accordingly. If you have to go without a few luxeries, then he should be willing to do so also. Talk it out, and figure out what works best for you.