Reworded Question: My wedding party lives about an hour and 1/2 away from where the wedding is. The rehursal dinner is the night before...who whould pay for the room the night of the rehursal dinner? I'm not paying for the room the night of the wedding...but I think I should pay for the night of the rehursal dinner before the wedding so they don't have to drive back and fourth. We have our hair appointment in the morning...etc. I can't take the chance of anyone being last and I don't want to be stressed out. I feel like I should pay for the room the night before, but not the night of the wedding. What do you think? Any advice?
2006-09-21 03:33:02 · 19 answers · asked by Michele K 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
The bride doesn't technically have to pay, however, it is a really nice gesture since bridesmaids tend to spend a lot of money to be in the wedding.
You are doing the same thing my friend (who is getting married next month) is doing. She is renting a room for the bridal party the night before and then the bridesmaids are all pitching in for a room the night of the wedding.
I think it's great you want to pay for the room the night before. I know if my friend wasn't I would just have to drive over that morning (and I live at least 1/2 hour from the wedding location, let alone the other bridesmaids. One lives almost 2 hrs away, and the other lives in Atlanta and the wedding is in STL.). I just couldn't afford to do it 2 days in a row.
But you are not only going to help the bridesmaids. Like you said, you are going to give yourselfe piece of mind... and that's really why you should pay. You want the bridal party there so you can have the reassurance that they will be on time the next morning. They shouldn't have to pay for that. Now if they offer to chip in, that's another story.
As for the night of it I agree with your decision. They can choose whether they want to drive home or not. The other bridesmaids, my boyfriend, and myself thought we best not chance being too drunk to get home, so we decided to get a room.
Congratulations on your wedding! LK
2006-09-21 03:48:17 · answer #1 · answered by Laura 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
By traditional standards it is the wedding party's responsibilty to pay for all expenses they incur; dress, shoes, hair, lodging, etc.
You are by no means obligated to pay for their lodging. But they are not obligated to get a hotel room either. Some might have things they have to go home and take care of, ie. pets, plants, kids, etc.
The best way to handle this would be for you to ask if they are willing to get a room for the night before. Explain your concerns and perhaps if a room is out of your wedding party's budget ask around and see if family and freinds would be willing to put them up for the night.
If they are you willing to stay in a hotel you could go around and ask hotels if they would be willing to reserve a block of rooms for you. Depending on the amount of rooms you reserve the hotel might let you have the rooms at a discounted rate. You should also talk to the other out of town guests and see who else plans on staying in a hotel the night before.
If you can get your wedding party and guests in one hotel, more then likely they will give you a discounted rate. Simply tell the wedding party and guests if they stay at that hotel they can have a rate of only $______ a night.
Hope this helps! Congratulations and best wishes for many happy years together!
2006-09-21 04:06:22 · answer #2 · answered by mbjwithouse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't you stay with the girls and your groom stay with the guys. Then you're together and you only have to pay for two rooms. You guys aren't supposed to be together the night before the wedding anyway.
These days anything goes. I think it is nice of you to think of your wedding parties costs. Some people don't at all!!!
The wedding night should be left up to them.
2006-09-21 04:44:13 · answer #3 · answered by butterfliesbrown 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I got married, some people had to travel to join in the celebration. I didn't feel in the least that I should pay for their rooms to stay over the night of the wedding. However, I applaud your forward thinking regarding the evening before and your wedding party. If you think it will ease your mind - do it. After the event is over, what they do is up to them. They might just want to go home...
2006-09-21 03:36:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you want them all to stay the night so they won't be late in the morning, then you should pay for the room. Otherwise, you could mention it as an option they could take, but are not required to do. It wouldn't be fair to expect them to get a room that night.
2006-09-21 07:10:59 · answer #5 · answered by caitlinerika 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In etiquette books it mostly talks about booking a hotel as a central location for everyone to be together. You may feel like you need to pay but the only rule I feel you should go with is what do you want. What would you do to make your stress level go down. Most people would not mind paying for 2 nights if that counts for anything.
2006-09-21 03:47:38 · answer #6 · answered by redhair_qt 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You do not have to pay for ANY of the lodgings. It has always been expected that the bridal party will pay for their own accomodations. Trust them...if they think they can make it back in the morning for hair appointments, let them. If they don't think they can, then they'll get a room.
2006-09-22 15:16:04 · answer #7 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I'm going to be a little anal retentive, but rehearsal is spelled as I spelled it just now. Spelling it with a 'u' makes me cringe. Now that that's out of the way, it depends on whether they're directly involved in it or not. If they're directly involved, as in they have a role to play in the wedding, then I feel you should pay for the room the night of the rehearsal. If they're just there for support and to be a part of things, they should pay for it themselves. Good luck.
2006-09-21 03:41:53 · answer #8 · answered by gilgamesh 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When they agreed to be in your wedding, they agreed to all the financial obligations. It would be extremely nice of you to pay for their rooms, but I doubt they will expect it. If you've got the money, I suggest doing it. It's a very nice gesture.
2006-09-21 04:42:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
THis sounds like a good decision. Maybe you can just get a big nice suite and you all can stay there in the same room. That also might save you a little cash kwim?? Plus, too it is like a last final slumber party of just you girls!!
2006-09-21 03:42:35 · answer #10 · answered by fwog_fwog 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋