is this just jealousy?

Question

My mother and I have always been like bes friends always together, if she needs something i am there and the same the other way around, but lately she has been spending all of her time with a older sister that has never been there for her when she needed someone and could care less what happens to mother, all she is after is what mother can give her, you see my mother has lupus and a lot of health problems and gets all sorts of pain meds each month and my sister is a drug head, so all she is after is mothers meds. she has done this over and over to mother, when mother will not give her anymore she stays away for a few weeks and them comes around again and all the while she is around mother seems to forget i exist and is hateful to me about everything when she does speak to me but when she is gone again it is me mother comes crying to. My question is should i say something to mother about how she treats me or should i just let it go cause as i have said before she is a sick woman.

Answer 1

It may not matter either way if you say something, mothers hurt, if you don't, you remain hurt. Mother may not be able to clearly see this other sibling or she may be trying to help her. You appear to be stronger than your sibling...and your Mother will know that and tend to help the weaker sibilings..

I have 5 sibilings...all are needy...I am not...mother has more to do with them than she ever will with me...they need her...I love her and can handle things on my own...that is hard for my mother...perhaps your mother too.

Good luck...enjoy your mother all you have her....Lupus can cause a lot of problems in her life...she will need all her children..

take care..

Answer 2

I have this problem myself (kinda). My mother does everything for my sister. One because my sister has children (and I don't) and 2, because I work, go to school, am responsible and never ask her for anything.
I think your mother is being exactly that, a mother. She probably knows you can take care of yourself so she doesn't worry so much about you, where as, your sister can't take care of herself and your mother feels that she must still take care of her.

Tell your mother how you feel, maybe she'll she the light and stop treating you like garbage when your sister is around

Answer 3

No matter whether she is sick or not, that doesn't give her the right to treat you like that. I think you need to have your sister put in rehab and tell her (when she is sober) what you think about her and her problem and what she does to your mother. Tell your mother what you think about this situation too. Tell her how it makes you feel. If this doesn't resolve it, then you have to make a decision for yourself. Either deal with it or tell them you can't have anything to do with them because of this. All you can do is tell them how you feel and if they don't care how you feel, then you need to distance yourself from them. It all depends on how all of this makes you feel. If your depressed by all the drama, limit your contact. Because all your doing is hurting yourself and your letting them hurt you.

Answer 4

Maybe bring it up but dont make it a big production..she is a sick woman And its not jealousy you just dont want mother to get hurt

Answer 5

It sounds like your Mom is in denial . She keeps hoping your sister will change. Unfortunately you and you mother are caught up in your sisters illness! Keep being there for mom. She needs your support!!

Answer 6

Don't upset your mother but do confront your sister and tell her that you know what games she's playing and you're NOT going to let her get away with it..

Answer 7

I think you should be honest with you mother.

Answer 8

Let it go, nothing is going to change

Answer 9

Yes you should