I am very much in love with this guy who is in the army. He says he loves me too but isn't ready for a relationship just yet because of working away all the time. He phones, txts and comes to see me all the time. He has just got back from serving in Iraq, and is due to go to Afghanistan in January. Should i wait until he's ready or move on? Help me please!
2006-09-21 03:19:11 · 34 answers · asked by ♥ Jodi ♥ Kaydi's Mummy ♥ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We have been seeing each other on and off since August 2003. I can see a long term future with him and i really don't think i could just 'move on'. He is in my thoughts 24/7 and when im with him i am the happiest i could ever be!! I don't mind the whole moving every couple of years thing, as long as i could be with him!!!
2006-09-21 21:04:58 · update #1
That would depend on how much you love him. Believe it or not but true love CAN concur all. He is right in not getting into a relationship at this point of his life. I mean look at it this way. If he were to get into a relationship with you now. You would be on here in a couple months going. I am stuck in a relationship where I don't get to see my b/f because he is gone off to the war. See what I am saying. It would of been different if the two of you were already in a relationship long before he had to go. Ask yourself "Is he worth it? If he is then wait for him. Good luck.
2006-09-21 03:30:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Believe me i have experience in these kind of situations (what with my dad being in the army & my ex) It's hard, long distance relationships are the hardest thing you'll ever do... wat you have to think about it the larger picture, if you two do end up together and say you get married, you'll have to move around with him every three years or whatever. I've seen some relationships last the whole time, but I've also seen alot of relationships going very wrong.
How long have you been seeing eachother?
If you really love him you should wait, during this time your feelings could increase or they could just go away but if you leave it now i fear that you will be wondering for the rest of your life "what could of been"
My one bit of advice would be to be patient, he obviously cares about you as been as he has taken time to come and see you, but he'll always be working away (thats what the army is about) so how long will you have to wait before this becomes a REAL relationship?
2006-09-21 03:56:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Feel free to date, but don't push for another serious relationship yet. He has told you clearly that he's not ready for the kind of relationship that you want, so you're under no obligation to wait for him. However, he might be ready in the near future. If you are really in love with this guy, you want to be available when he changes his mind -- but don't hold out too long, or you might miss something wonderful that's available now.
2006-09-21 03:24:52 · answer #3 · answered by D'archangel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on several things, how much do you love him? how much do you miss him ? do you think you will at some point have a long term future with him?. Distance itself should not pull you apart. Women waited years for the man they loved in war time. Only you can know if you could just " move on ", if you could, then you should because you do not love him the way you say you do !!!!!.
2006-09-21 03:31:50 · answer #4 · answered by Dolly Blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on, but keep the option open. It will do you no good to wait for a man who may or may not want to pursue something serious with you now or in the future. Continue to meet new people and friends. If this is the man that you are to potentially marry, everything (timing and all else) will work itself out. Besides, you won't be happy waiting for him and you'll feel really crappy if you wait and he chooses someone else in the future.
2006-09-21 03:23:43 · answer #5 · answered by J L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has chosen to do what he wants to so if you really love him then make the most of the time he is away, do a course on a subject that interests you or that will improve your current employment. When he is ready to move on with your relationship you will too
2006-09-21 03:33:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, for the sake of your heart, I'd say try and move on. You'll just tug and tug at it with the hope of maybe him being ready, you don't know if it will ever be. Continue to talk and be friends, but in whatever ways you can think of, try to move on. Try seeing other people maybe.....not right away, by any means. But, it takes steps to try and let go. Really, though, do what you want to do. What makes you happy.
2006-09-21 03:22:40 · answer #7 · answered by Bailey 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should move on. He has told you he doesn't want a relationship just now and you are wasting your life hoping that he will change his mind. Go about your life as normal and if you meet someone else then go for it. Maybe you and he will cross paths again in the future but don't live your life on a maybe.
2006-09-21 03:23:41 · answer #8 · answered by koolkatt 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He loves you
By the way he keeps in touch - he cares
But you need to explain your need for commitment and see what he says, if he really does care then he will understand you needs too. Ask him to imagine you with someone else - how would he feel? If he isnt ready soon, and many people have realtionships in the army, you coud be better to move on
2006-09-21 03:30:26 · answer #9 · answered by shapermg@btinternet.com 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
How long do you think you'll be alive for (don't forget you could die tomorrow... sounds like he could too). You snooze you lose. This is your life. If its love, he'll return no matter what. If not, he won't. Cut and dry- leave and move on while you're still young enough to date a soldier.
2006-09-21 03:26:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋