2006-09-21 02:46:55 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I am still trying to figure that one out! I would guess time out until they have a change of heart and calmed down! However long that takes, sometimes it takes my son 25 minutes
2006-09-21 02:49:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Are there any recent changes in her life (move, new school, new baby, family issues)? If so, give her lots of extra love and support. It sounds like she is trying to find ways to feel powerful. She is probably feeing pretty powerful when she screams or or is loud.
Give her a place where she can scream. We all need to vent a little sometimes. When she is screaming, take her or have her go to her room and scream or scream in a pillow. Tell her “When you are ready to stop screaming then you can come back with me.”
When she is misbehaving or having a tantrum try this. As soon as she misbehaves, get down to her level and say "I don't like when you (explain what and why)." Take her gently by the hand and put her in a spot in your home (bedroom, the couch.) Say "When you're ready to (calm down, stop hitting, listen, behave) then you can come back with me." This is not a time out because you are not giving a time limit (you controlling her). She returns when she's ready to control herself. You may have to take her back to the spot a few times before she gets the message. Thank her when she behaves. Keep it up!
Empathize with her when she is upset and after she is calm. Say things like “You must feel really (mad, angry, frustrated, hurt, upset.). What can we do about that?” Give her some ideas about what to do instead of screaming. She should soon learn to better express her feelings.
Try and use logical consequences whenever possible. Taking away a toy or privileges when your daughter misbehaves is not a logical consequence. Taking away a toy if she throws it or is destructive with it is logical. These are some other examples of logical consequences. If she makes a mess she cleans it. If she breaks a toy, it goes in the trash. If she hits someone, they don’t want to be with her. Let the discipline fit the crime committed.
Notice her when she is not misbehaving. Say things like "You worked on that for a long time! Look how high you can climb! You did that by yourself! You used so many colors on that picture!" These are intrinsic motivators rather than extrinsic rewards ("Good job," stickers, candy). These phrases are great confidence builders and will help her to feel powerful in a positive way.
Set limits, follow through, and offer choices, not chances. You can say “Do you want to do that by yourself or do you want some help?” "No" should mean "No" the first time you say it. Pick your battles! Say "Yes" as much as possible. Be patient and consistent. Good luck!
2006-09-21 07:25:21 · answer #2 · answered by marnonyahoo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is not one answer for each behavior. Though behaviors look similar from child to child, the causes are different. Children are very limited in their ablility to express their feelings. You have to observe the pattern of behavior leading up to the screaming. When you can predict an episode, you learn to redirect it before it starts. During a tantrum, you "mirror" their feelings: "I see you are frustrated. I'm going to wait for you to finish screaming so that you can hear me, and then I can help you." Then just wait it out, removing any physical dangers. You have to express confidence in their ability to pull themselves out of it. When they're calm, you can role play and talk about feelings and apporopriate expression of them. The episodes will get shorter and less frequent before the behavior totally goes away.
Don't punish this. Use it as a teaching and bonding opportunity.
2006-09-21 03:27:12 · answer #3 · answered by georgia b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Georgia had some great advice. If you know what triggers the behavior you can sometimes circumvent it. Remember the attention rule: whatever behavior is paid attention to will be repeated. Try to ignore the behavior (yes, even in public places). Eventually it will stop and then you can talk about why it's not ok and what alternatives the child might use to get his needs met. Set clear limits. Never give in to screaming behavior; that will only reward and perpetuate it.
Use praise often to pay attention to desired behavior. "What good manners!" "You're playing so nicely with your toys!" "What a good job you did of putting things away!" Read to your child, play with him, give him the attention he wants in positive ways and he is less likely to seek it in negative ways.
2006-09-21 05:10:06 · answer #4 · answered by keepsondancing 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
good question...I want to know the answer to that one too..I have a 4 year old that screams all the time for no reason...I just normally put him in his room and let him scream until he get's tired of screaming..just try to get their attention on something they really enjoy doing
2006-09-21 02:55:45 · answer #5 · answered by mouseymom24 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my daughter will be 4 in a few months, i have the same problem. i think that either they get tired or are just tryin to play. i send mine outside and let her go, gets her tired for a nap (if she gets up early) or for bed and she calms down after she has really played hard. when she gets this way she wants to go in and watch cartoons (any of them because she just wants to lay down) you may try this or tell him/her that if she does it or keeps on you will take away their favorite toy, or book somethin that they play with constantly. for my niece it worked wonders, it took like 2 or 3 times to do before she quit. keep getting advise from different people and you may find somethin that works for your child.
2006-09-21 02:55:40 · answer #6 · answered by treys girl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If the child can't hear you; they will quiet down so they can listen. When your 4 year old acts up, you should try talking in a normal to low tone. (Speaking directly to your child) Chances are they will quiet down to hear what mommy or daddy is saying. Be consistent.
2006-09-21 03:34:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ignore her. If there is a real problem eg she has hurt herself , then calm her down. If she does this for attention, just ignore her until she is finished. Temper tantrums feed on your reaction so don't give in.
2006-09-21 02:55:34 · answer #8 · answered by Gone fishin' 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would comfort her if she needs that, but it continues for a long period of time in my opinion she needs to be removed from the situation and have it explained to her if she cant control herself she cant be in the fun situation.
2006-09-21 02:58:50 · answer #9 · answered by Peggy C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son was that way once. I learned that discipline is the key.
2006-09-21 02:55:50 · answer #10 · answered by ♡chele♡ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋