My bf and I had a fight the past two days over me not moving in with him. I said that I could not move in with him because I am still in school and I work in department store which they don’t pay a lot for mortgage and all that stuff, he on the other hand works in a department store as well but he is not in school, he just got mad and didn’t want to answer my phone calls and I was been an idiot calling him like 3 times in a row and finally while I was talking to him he mad me mad I cry and hung up the phone with him. And I didn’t call him ever since so today he called me like 4 times and he said give me a answer what where do we go from this? I don’t know what to say I like him but i just want to have fun and finish my school. I don’t want to get married and worry about money. And he talks about he is not going to give me a ring because he doesn’t think he is going be with me he is just think so small. So he is waiting for me to call him right know how should I say it what should I say to him, he want me to tell him what we should do and abut the ring let me tell u I been with him for about 9 month for my b-day in July he didn’t give me any gift and he said that he put something in layaways and he is going to give it to me when it is time??? I mean I never say a word about it but come on at least he could give me a card what do u think.
2006-09-21 02:40:29 · 20 answers · asked by sweet84 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Drop him. He sounds possessive and controlling. If he is holding marriage over your head, that is just out of line. Marriage should be something both people are ready for, and honestly, neither of you sound mature enough to handle that. Finish school, find another guy who will respect your decisions.
There's someone better for you than he is. About the gift thing, you should probably just let it go. Gifts are something that should be recieved with pleasant surprise. Don't necessarily think about what it is you're getting. While getting you a card would have been nice, he did get something. Tough love answer: get over it.
Neither of you are mature enough to handle marriage. Finish school, get an awesome job with better income, find a different guy, and be thankful everyday you are with that guy, whether or not he gets you stuff.
2006-09-21 02:50:03 · answer #1 · answered by missesmoo236 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I can say this, u got it bad for this guy but if he doesn't respect your wishes for not wanting to move in with him then you have some work to do. You can do two things: you could either give in and move in with him, or use the reasonable approach and tell him "As much as I want to be with you I can't move in with you because I'm just not ready but if you do not respect my wishes then you do not love me at all and you are selfish because it's all about what you want and you are not willing to compromise. So, if you loved me you would let me do my thing and finish school and get my funds right before I consider living like a married woman." I really hope that my advice was good and that you'll both come to a compromise.
2006-09-21 02:59:00 · answer #2 · answered by Stasia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok grammatical errors aside. let me try to sort this out. Remember thought that this is only advise you can follow it or you can dismiss it.
You obviously do not want to move in with him cause you are in school and you do not want to worry about money and bills . So do not do it.
You said "he called me like 4 times and he said give me a answer what where do we go from this?"
Tell him that you do not want to move in with him because you are worried about bills and such and that you feel that it is not appropriate at this point in your relationship.
You said, "I don’t want to get married and worry about money. And he talks about he is not going to give me a ring because he doesn’t think he is going be with me he is just think so small"
He is not going to give you a ring so don't worry about it. I don't think you are in any danger of getting married at this point. Um and the reason why is he just wants you to move in with him.
You said, "and he said that he put something in layaways and he is going to give it to me when it is time??"
I agree that he should of gave you a card. I honestly doubt that he is making payments on anything in Lay-away.
Im glad that you are at least being mature enough to know that you are not ready to move in with him. Take time honey, My momma always told me and I find that it still rings true, Why would a man buy a cow when he can get the milk for free?
2006-09-21 02:57:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though your grammar is quite choppy, I believe I got the jist of what you're saying.
You have to do what you feel is right. If moving in with this guy will make you unhappy or you don't believe you're ready to take that step than don't move in with him.
If he really cares about you he'd respect your feelings and not pressure you into moving in with him, for his own needs.
If he can't respect how you feel, perhaps it's time for you to find someone who will.
However, you're way off on this brithday thing. Why do you women make such a big deal about this? I understand it's nice to get a gift or a card but it's not the end of the world if you don't get one. He said he put something on layaway for you, well take his word for it and see what it is.
2006-09-21 02:46:56 · answer #4 · answered by bad_dog76 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are absolutly right. What I can see and you cant because you are in the middle of it is that he is pressuring you to do something you dont want. Girl, do not move in with him. Not only will you have money problems, wich by the way are the numer 1 cause of problems in relatioships, wich lead to all kinds of troubles, but you will have to deal with the cooking, cleaning, and what time did u get home, etc. I would suggest that you stand your ground. This is one of those decisions in life that are so important because it will have conseuences, and come on he doesnt even have a good job. Please feel free to love with your heart but keep thinking with your head, if you find a balance between your heart and your head you will be succesful, specially as a woman, we take everything to the heart. Goo Luck....
2006-09-21 02:51:13 · answer #5 · answered by acostafamily305 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are, too young to be worrying about money problems. It would be a mistake if you moved in with him. Your young finish high school and enjoy yourself. If he doesnt even want to commit with you to the future than why put yourself through all that trouble. And yes a card for your birthday would have been acceptable. He sounds like a lier. You deserve better. Move on from him. Good luck....
2006-09-21 02:51:18 · answer #6 · answered by butterfly_angelmarie321 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a loser!!....concentrate on ur school...don't move in becuz he's mad right now...thats really stupid to get at.....if he loves you, then there shouldn't be "any" kind of excuse....if you guys been with each other for only 9 months....stop tripping....theres no drama there...he's causing it....i think if you leave him, that's the best thing could ever happen to "you"...it's only 9 months, be strong and stick to what you think is right for you and makes you happy.....remember, you should love your-self first...if he can't understand that, then oh-well...sh!t happens...in every relationship..one must know how to compromise to the other need...life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride....don't stress ur self out.
2006-09-21 02:56:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree, the question is too long, which means you've thought about this entirely too much. This ridiculous argument isn't worth all this time and trouble. Leave him, there are lots and lots of great guys out there who would truly care about you, and would love for you to live with them. You're already on the internet, use the darn thing, and find yourself a nice guy!
2006-09-21 02:46:56 · answer #8 · answered by Joe & Amy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no way he has something on layaway for you. he's lying to you. Do not move in with him. When you move out, money gets extremely tight. Continue with your education, and hopefully you will find a guy that treats you well. Good luck
2006-09-21 02:47:21 · answer #9 · answered by Lissa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Goodness !!!!!!!! PLEASE !
you already answered your own question. Connect the dots.
You move in with him..he will eventually( sounds like he is already) control you..looks like he will probably just try to get you barefoot and pregnant.
PLease sista..you are worth more than that!
look in the mirror..for reals.
Look at your real beauty ..say to yourself
"I am diamonds,Platinum!"
"sapphire!"
you are a jewel..dont let someone take away your luster your shine.
Find someone that will surely polish you and bring your shine out!
You are already the precious jewel..
IT IS YOUR CHOICE if you become a dull diamond and let
someone neglect your shine and not appreciate your value.
SHINE ON YOU CRAZY DIAMOND!!
2006-09-21 02:54:50 · answer #10 · answered by sHiNe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋