I have a 13 year old who is a cheerleader at the junior high. she has been acting out and just yesterday she lied about having cheerleading practice and stayed after school doing who knows what then she called me at 5:00 to come and pick her up because she did not have a ride because the person that was suppose to take her home found out earlier that there was not practice but that she did not find out until after all the buses left this was at 3:00 but she did not call me until 5:00 then she lied some more about where she was the whole time. my question is do I take her out of cheerleading because she can not be trusted to stay after school or is there something else I can do to punish her. this is the second time she has done this once last year and now this year.
2006-09-21 02:26:41 · 15 answers · asked by shannonmon2002 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Don't take the cheerleading away. If you do she will have even more unsupervised time to get into trouble. If you feel the need to take something away, go for her computer, or cell phone, my kids think those are a birthright.
Maybe give her MORE activites, have her volunteer at the library, animal shelter, soup kitchen...wherever you and she feel the service will be appreciated. It would give her less free time to sneak around, it looks good on college applications, and it might change her perceprion of the world around her. Good Luck.
2006-09-21 03:08:52 · answer #1 · answered by knzlt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you don't need to say anything else. I have 2 daughters which now they are over 21 and on their own. One of my daughters was like this, she would lie so much that you couldn't tell if she was lying or not after awhile.
If you take her out of cheer leading, she will get back at you some how and lie more. Just tell her that she doesn't have to lie where she wants to go with her friends. As long as you know where she is and she is safe that the lying will get her grounded. If she doesn't have a cell phone, you may want to get her one. This is one way you could check on her. Saying something like "I need to go to the store, is there something you need?" This way you can tell by background noise where she is. If it is too quiet, you will know something isn't right. I got my 16 year old son a cell phone and this is what I say or I'll ask if he has his house key or say something that doesn't get him to think I am checking on him. I wish they had these when my daughters turned 13, maybe the one that lied all the time would not have lied like she did.
2006-09-21 09:45:04 · answer #2 · answered by Dottie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. Ask her if there is a day she would like to stay after school and hang out with her friends. Get the cheerleading schedule and ask the coach to notify you every time there is a cancellation. Your child is taking a step towards independence. Try to allow her to state her needs without shutting down communication. Explain that her safety is always the paramount issue and that she can make decisions to stay after school so long as you have some prior notice. Then give her a big hug, tell her she is growing up beautifully, and that you love her!!
2006-09-21 09:32:18 · answer #3 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a 15 yr old highschool cheerleader. Cheerleading is not the problem. Her lying to you is. I am very open and honest about everything with my daughter and so far she has been honest to me. Do you have the type of relationship where she could say to you that she wanted to do somthing after school without you freaking out? and what is she doing after school? Be a little more open with her and maybe she will be more open to you.
Ask her coach for a schedule of practices. Then you won't have to rely on her to tell you when they are.
Good luck!
2006-09-21 09:33:43 · answer #4 · answered by crazimommi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you are going to be there when she has practice (get the schedule from school) and really go to it, if she asks you why tell her because you lied about it before and you won't stand for it. She does need time to be with her friends, give her a day (like Friday) to hang out but if she lies about anything again she will have to drop the cheerleading and she'll be grounded for life.
2006-09-21 10:21:57 · answer #5 · answered by melbow35 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your school district is like mine cheerleading and the practices for cheerleading are taking the place of her PE credit. If so you cannot just pull her out of cheering. What you can do is speak to the cheerleading coach and tell her about your problem. This way she can provide you with a practice schedule and a schedule of appearences. When you speak to the coach be sure and bring your daughter with you, she will be mortified that you would dare speak to her coach and coaches can think of some truely mean punishments. Not abusive mean but mean and they do not like their students to lie about practice to their parents. Think running laps, think lots of sit-ups. If you can call the coach before this meeting so she knows what is coming she may get even more creative. Your young lady will learn not to lie to you and to have more respect for herself, her coach and you.
2006-09-21 10:57:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... if you force her out of cheerleading you may have more problems. I would suggest try to take something else away. I have threatened my neice several times and even purchased a shirt that said I did not study, nor do homework... I am prepairing for my future... it was striped black and white. I told her if she did not improve in school I would take her makeup, and cool cloths and leave her with a pair of sweat pants and this tshirt. I luckly was not forced to do this... however was prepaired. I would suggest grounding for a week or 2... meaning no telephone to and from school and if cheerleading practice sit and watch her there...let her know that she will need to earn your trust back in order for you not to have to go... and when you go make sure ALL of the friends see you in your ugliest cloths, hair a mess, and makeup not the best either...
2006-09-21 09:32:13 · answer #7 · answered by Tricia P 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to her cheer-leading coach and work out some deal that the coach calls you when there is no practice and if she is not at practice, and if she skips out on it again then I would suggest a harsh punishment like taking her phone privileges so that she can't call whoever she is actually goin with.
2006-09-21 10:17:06 · answer #8 · answered by megan_trigg2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get with whoever runs their cheerleading and find out the actual days & times they are going to practice.
2006-09-21 09:31:17 · answer #9 · answered by deliwvu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is only 13. If she has done this before you need to take her out of cheerleading... tell her that maybe she can go back next year but htat she has to earn your trust back.
Tell her that your her mom and she needs to be truthful with you cause you only want what is best for her.
2006-09-22 17:17:37 · answer #10 · answered by vandetta00 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋