My daughter had a weight problem as a child, it peaked just before puberty when she was about 180 pounds. She went down to a size 6 by the time she reached high school and she loved wearing all the fahions and all the attention from boys.
Now she has graduated and is taking a gap year. However, over the past year she has gained about 30 pounds and I see her heading back down the same road. Whenever I mention anything to her clothes wise, food wise, etc. she gets emotional and accuses me of trying to make her anorexic. I don't say anything any more, but it saddens me to see her this way. Yes, healthy food is placed on the table every day, but I know she's eating fast food when she's out and hoarding treats in her room. Any suggestions?
2006-09-21 02:05:02 · 31 answers · asked by LuckyO 2 in Health ➔ Diet & Fitness
Love your daughter for who she is, not what she looks like. By talking to her about her size it only makes her feel more insecure about it. Instead, talk to her as a caring parent and see if anything is troubling her emotionally. She may be bored since she's taking her gap year. Encourage her to be more active by suggesting going on a walk together. Don't make it about her weight, approach it as if you want to spend time with her.
2006-09-21 02:09:31 · answer #1 · answered by Pauleen M 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
My ideas? Try to do 200 minutes of cardio a week. Remember fat does not turn into muscle, so you need to lose your fat while putting on muscle. Work hard, but don't over 60 minutes at a time. Do planks and other abs exercises on alternate days.
On training days, do 5-10 minutes of cardio to warm up, then do your weight training. Do 30 to 60 minutes more of cardio, then go home.
The best time to eat is just after your workout within an hour when your metabolism is raging. For your muscles, incorporate some isolated soy protein or whey protein. Whey is more potent but the soy tastes better!
Don't look at your scale as the be all and end all, but get a measuring tape to check your progress, and that will show more tangible results.
Read magazines like Shape, Womens Fitness, Fitness, etc to get tips and to stay motivated.
Good luck and stick at it. This plan has lost me 20 lbs in 12 weeks so far, just go for it!
2006-09-21 08:48:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think this is a tuff one because of the fact that fitness is a personal choice. As well Id say to help her maybe loose weight try not to mention she has a problem with her diet. However try and see how you could encourage her to get back on track. As well I think it is good that you try and cook healthy at home. However to me it sounds like she might be going through something personal and that may also be holding her back from being motivated to work out. Maybe try to find out what is on her mind and what she may be going through and that might give you some insight. In the end however she will have to make the decision. Do you work out? If you do you can invite her to do it with you . Since we can not preach what we dont do ourselfes. Good luck I hope this helps.
2006-09-21 02:15:48 · answer #3 · answered by Lissette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, it sounds like the original weight loss was not neccesarily her idea. Not that it was wrong to want your daughter to be healthy and attractive, especially at a time in her life when appearance is judged so harshly, but as we all know...if someone tries to change for anyone other than themself, it simply doesn't work.
Next, it is important to know that most females gain weight their first year out of HS. If they go to college, it is usually called the "freshman 15" (or 25 or 50) and it comes from the massive changes that happen when we transition from HS to the "real world"..increased demands on us, having to be responsible for school and personal care, more choices and freedom. The result is usually a year of poor nutrition and less physical activity.
But the biggest clue that your daughter has developend an issue with food and weight is the hoarding in her room abd how angry she is at you. It may be she is just as disappointed in herself, it may be she is angry she disappointed you. It could be anxiety and depression over her impending future, or it could be the feeling that she thinks you don't like or accept her for who she is, looks and all.
By taking a gap year, you have a wonderful opportunity to help her figure all of this out before the added stress of college comes along. Find a good therapist, one who has worked with adolescent girls with image/food issues. Let her know your concern is not about how she looks or her dating prospects, but about her feelings about herself and her realtionship with you. Be willing to go to sessions with her and accpet whatever choices your daughter may make about her weight., as long as she live a healthy life style. Be prepared to hear some hard things about what she may think you want from her and why you want them. And be honest about why you want them. It will take time and work, but it will give you both the chance to get closer and understand where the issues come from.
2006-09-21 02:25:30 · answer #4 · answered by Annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, the best thing for her to do is talk to her doctor/ nutritionist about a healthy meal plan and exercise routine, but it doesn't sound like she's ready to it. Just let her run her life, she's probably about 18 if she's graduated and she'll start feeling it at the clubs in little outfits or when her friends come home from school to visit and they reminiss over pix from High School and she sees the difference. You just have to be patient and be there for her when the breakdown hits, and maybe walk with her or go to the gym together (that you can start now, but only if she's willing) Also, I know as a mom you dont wanna hear this but watch her nightlife habits. nothing packs on pounds like the empty carbs in alcohol...
2006-09-21 02:14:59 · answer #5 · answered by Slutlana 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The bottom line is that you can not do anything about it. It has to be her who decides she's had it with her weight, and after that, if she comes to you for support, support her, don't nag her.
It sounds as if she doesn't think she's concerned about her weight. 30 lbs is overweight, yes, I agree, but not necessarily unhealthy. If she's eating healthy overall and feels good at the weight she's at, then let her be okay with it. If she has unhealthy eating habits, then, I'm sorry it sounds harsh, but she'll gain weight and then she will realize she needs to do something about it. Then, tell her to take a nutrition class and take it with her if she lets you.
Another thing: do you regularly exercise? such as jog in the mornings? If you do, then the day she decides she wants to lose weight is when she can join you in your jogging, and you can be a good support for her then.
2006-09-21 06:04:06 · answer #6 · answered by Andie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might just want to step back and see if there might be an underlying problem to her eating the way she does, it might be that someone is causing her to feel bad and eating has became like a security blanket for her, or it might be an underlying medical problem because my daughter had the same problem with eating and it wound up to be that she never felt full so she would eat and eat till she was full and eventually she gained weight.
2006-09-21 02:15:33 · answer #7 · answered by darkness_comes_full_circle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't say anything to your daughter about her weight. Let her make the right or wrong decisions for her own body and love her no matter what. My mother's persistent nagging and force dieting caused me to be bulimic through high school and to balloon to 220 pounds as soon as I got away from her. Interfering in her business will only cause her to resent you many years from now, and will give her weight issues and food issues for many years into her adulthood. I have finally let go of my issues with food and weight and it had to come from inside me, and I had to let go of the hurt my mother caused.
Pushing her to lose weight will only make her ashamed of herself, and will only make her feel as though you are ashamed of her. I mean, are you? The way you say she was wearing fashions and was loving the attention from boys...instead of saying she was healthy and felt great...makes me wonder if you are a little shallow. If your daughter's weight gain is due to depression, she needs you now more than ever for you to love her and for you to make her feel as though she is dear to you at any weight.
2006-09-21 02:20:34 · answer #8 · answered by Crapcleanwrestler 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well being over weight myself, I think that if my mom had been more encouraging to me than it would have helped. I couldn't help but feel everything she said was demeaning and hurtful. Maybe you could offer to excercise with her at a local gym or maybe just offer to walk with her. You have to understand that being overweight doesn't make you a bad person, It defines who you are and if that person likes the way they are they won't change it. I hope this will help you in following the right path to encouragement.
2006-09-21 02:12:14 · answer #9 · answered by Jen 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Use spray oil as opposed to pouring. One squirt contains only 1 calorie compared to 120 calories at a tablespoon. If you use oil with your cooking daily, this small change could lose that you simply stone over the year.
2016-02-19 08:17:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋