i split up with my Ex a few months ago because i was no longer happy in the relationship for a number of reasons. he cant seem to accept its over!hes moved out of our flat and im in the process of having him released from our mortgage as he stopped paying his share of the mortgage. ive even contacted a solicitor to explain to him that ill be taking out a restraining order if he doesnt leave me alone. what else can i do?why can he accept that its over?i just want to move on.
2006-09-21 00:09:46 · 21 answers · asked by XCuteX 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sorry, it should say Can't
2006-09-21 00:13:12 · update #1
Dylan S-he used to be violent towards me and try and control me.
2006-09-21 00:17:00 · update #2
Firstly can i say congratulations on having the guts to finish this relationship as he was obviously abit of a control freak..... you appear to be an extremely strong person.
You are doing the right thing ..... by getting him released from the mortgage and contacting the solicitor..... what i would suggest from today is that you keep a little diary of events.... when he contacts you, date time, method of contact, any letters you receive from him, anything he does to you, your property or anything he says to you or even friends keep a note of them ..... this is all good ammunition if you have to get a restraining order.... also if you do feel threatened or intimidated physically by his presence do contact the Police most forces in the UK now takes these matters serioulsy.....
Finally the only other bit of advice I would give is dont enter into any dialogue with him.... if he phones and wants to speak to you .... just politely say .... I have asked you not to phone .... and put the phone down... (remember to note it down)
I can understand what people on here are saying that you should move away but I would only choose that as a last resort ...... I'm sure you have a job friends and family in the area..... that you wouldnt want to leave ..... show him you are not going to be intimidated by his behaviour..... I think in time he will get so fed up of your non responsive attitude that he will go away....
May I wish you all the luck in the world and be strong
2006-09-21 01:56:09 · answer #1 · answered by dee9166 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey girl, not easy is it, my ex has been in my flat for a year and i cant get rid of him your lucky you got shot of him out of your place. He's being violent cos that's all he knows, i been there, in fact i am there. They like to intimidate you they think they look the big guy, but they are not, they are just bullies who have to pick on women, its ok for him to get a woman but if you were to find a fella you would be harassed, am i right. I was given some good advice, go to the police and instead of threatening him with a restraining order just do it, that might make him see that you mean business if you carry this out. Good luck Hun, be thinking of ya!
2006-09-21 10:45:18 · answer #2 · answered by ball_cathie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wud say he needs mental help and maybe you shud not answer he calls and tell him any contact shud go through a solisitor from now on also change your number and try and sell the flat once his name is off the morgage and do not let him know where you live .I had to move to get away from my ex I went to germany he was so violent and followed me everywhere .
2006-09-21 00:27:13 · answer #3 · answered by stephy200125 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have the same kinda problem. he has a thing where he controls you and it makes him feel better when he does. he is still controling you because you see your life as on hold as he still around. well, theonly way he will get the picture is if you move on and do the things you would do if he wasnt pestering you. get a new man. go clubbing, shopping. buy a whold new set of underware. do what ever you like, but just PRETEND he aint there. change your number. come in at late times so if he does come round to YOUR house, you aint in so its easier for you. gudluck and makesure youtell someone close to you what is happening as if anything did happen, godforbid, someone would know who is the MAIN SUSPECT. GUDLUCK
2006-09-21 02:14:01 · answer #4 · answered by london lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he must really like u , but a guy thats violent is a guy to stay away from for sure.....maybe you should try looking for somewhere else to stay....that way he cant come near u as he wont know where u r.....u could always go stay with family till u find a new place + put ur flat on the market....
good luck
x.niks.x
2006-09-21 00:20:35 · answer #5 · answered by lil niks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should move out of the flat too and get as far away as possible. Both men and women have issues letting go of a relationship after it's over.
2006-09-21 00:11:31 · answer #6 · answered by live2ride 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he had split with you Im sure the situation would be by far very different. You hurt his pride and he will never understand why you no longer wanted him. He will get the message eventually so keep on with it and do what you have to.
He's very upset and he still loves you so give it time.
2006-09-21 00:14:09 · answer #7 · answered by Scatty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cuz us blokes are lot less fickle than women - no mean to sound offensive but once a guy has fallen for a girl (properly) its pretty damnd hard to get her out of your mind even if things were going wrong in the relationship, whereas women have a tendancy to be less patient, more fickle, and fall in and out of love easier - sign of a modern woman, they are the hunters and we are the hunted lol
2006-09-21 00:23:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesnt want to accept its over because he will try to control you in anyway he can for as long as he can, give it time and hopefully he will find someone else to control, as they never change!
2006-09-21 00:29:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might have injured his pride. Try not to anymore. Don't try to boast about the split as if it was you who rejected him. Play it down and try to give him chance to leave you rather than kicking him out.
2006-09-21 01:39:55 · answer #10 · answered by B i n g o 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋