I have a friend who is going to have a really bad operation, and I am scared for her. Should I share this with her? It is an optional type of operation, but a very serious back surgery with metal rods and she is 65 and gets staph infections easily. She says she will be a hump back otherwise, I am just so scared for her.
2006-09-20 23:54:04 · 17 answers · asked by shardf 5 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Other - Diseases
My friend is my sister, and she has had many surgeries. They took a rod out one other time due to staph infection. With so much metal this time, they cannot take it out. She just does not want to be a hunch back, she was beautiful, and wants to be active. She has curvature of the spine, and already going to one side and then forward. I know if it is her time, there isn't anything you can do, and put it in God's hands. But this being elective, I just afraid for her. I have not said anything negative to her.
2006-09-21 00:02:04 · update #1
go with your gut instinct... but be nice about telling her.
2006-09-20 23:55:44 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer L 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Considering her medical background, I could certainly support you encouraging her to get a second opinion...especially since it is elective. But I definitely would not say you think she is going to die. She doesn't need that kind of fear going into a surgery. Just say you are concerned and worried and would feel better if she got a second opinion, because of the staph risk.
If, after that, she still wants the surgery, support her. Positive thoughts are as important in recovery as a good doctor. And only your sister can decide what is important in her life. If standing tall is a major criteria and worth any risk, then that is really up to her.
2006-09-21 09:22:34 · answer #2 · answered by kathy_is_a_nurse 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally wouldn't tell her. She is going through a tough time right now and she needs love and support from you, her family and friends.
It sounds like her mind is made up to have this surgery. So, the best thing for her, right now, would be prayers for her complete recovery. You didn't give her name, but I am sure God will know who I am talking about, if it's alright, I would like to say a prayer for her too. Put your prayers, faith and love in God. He will give you and your friend the strength you both need to get through this.
God Bless you both. :)
EDIT: I just read your additional notes. It makes it very tough that it is your sister. The only thing I might would ask her is if she is really SURE this is what she wants to do, considering her previous problems with the metal rods. Otherwise, I would still pray for God to help guide her in making a decision for surgery and for her complete recovery should she decide to have the surgery.
2006-09-21 07:06:13 · answer #3 · answered by BlueAngel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can be scare for her and advise her to think this over and get a second opinion. But to tell her that you think she is going to die, that is a no,no. You don't really know that, if can come out OK after the operation. Those decisions should be left for her Doctors and immediate family to tell her.
I do understand your concern and love for your friend, but there are some things better left unsaid. I wish your friend the best. I hope that you can let her do what she wants, I am sure she knows you worry about her. Pray for her.
2006-09-21 07:00:11 · answer #4 · answered by Boricua Born 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are just afraid for her well-being. There are always risks going into surgery, and I would say that she knows this but has elected to have it anyways. Let her know you are concerned about her going into surgery and let what she says back to you dictate whether or not you should tell her how you feel about her dieing. I realize you don't want to lose her...what she needs now if your support, not your gloom...Good Luck.
2006-09-21 07:02:55 · answer #5 · answered by Barbara 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I would never tell them I thought they'd die because the worst thing would be for them to internalize this thought to the point where they believe it into existence. It's good to have an optimistic attitude about such things because sometimes when you believe something to be possible, it ends up happening. So for a person to believe that they shall survive is in their best interest.
2006-09-21 06:56:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A sick person needs support all the way and to tell her that you think she is gong to die would affect her alot and may make her condition even worse, this would leave you feeling guilty.
What you can do now is,just be there for her and leave whatever happens to her as God's plan for her life. Pray for her...
2006-09-21 07:10:03 · answer #7 · answered by asisi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
r u a doctor??? if not..then is not up to you to tell her either the surgery will be a success or not
i think the doctors know better....let them bring up the bad news
u have to be near her and be as supportive and optimistic as u can
p.s it's bad enough for her knowing that she is at risk..u don't have to panic her more...its not good getting into surgery stressed
2006-09-21 06:56:30 · answer #8 · answered by Diana_84 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you have a premonition of her death then tell the doctor and tell him that if the situation you foresaw happens, to avoid that situation. I have a feeling your friend is going to die.
2006-09-21 06:57:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
look their is no need to worry. shes going to have a operation not had. you should share with her
2006-09-21 07:08:08 · answer #10 · answered by ameena f 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should tell your friend that you think there goning to die
2006-09-21 06:56:40 · answer #11 · answered by thunterprincess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋