My sister seem to care more about finding a boyf than her child!?

Question

I live with my sister & her 3 year old son, she works part time and goes out more than me & my man put together! She doesn't sleep around but has been dating loads of diff boys and now thinks she really likes one so is out with him a lot. I babysit a lot (free of course) and last wknd she threw a fit when I tried to get out of it saying I went out Fri night with my man (it was my only night out last week & she'd been out Wed & Thu). I babysat in the end & she came back at 5am by which time I'd had to deal with my upset nephew twice (2.30am & 4.30am). She expects us all to fawn over her new man but she has gone through so many dates all of which she "really liked" but then got bored. What do I do!!

Answer 1

Your man needs to get a place so you guys can move in together. Make sure it is a long ways from where your sister lives. This way she can't depend on you, and she will have no reason to get mad at you. She is using you for her own personal agenda, and you got to get yourself out of that situation as fast as you can. As long as you take care of her child, she will walk all over you because you live with her, and she has you where she needs you..... Under her control. You could find someone else to babysit for, at "their" house. This would at least make her see you should be paid to keep children. Say "sorry sis, but I have a job babysitting now, and can't keep your child tonight". You could always just lay down the law to her, but that would only cause friction between you, and you have to have some place to live. She is trying to find some guy that will take care of her, and the baby. Most guys would run from a situation like this. I don't think it's a matter of her getting bored with them, but they are running from her when they find out about her having a baby by someone else. Hey, I'm a guy and I would run as fast as I could from a girl that had a child that wasn't mine! She is staying out with guys when she should bring them to meet her child. She could be partying at your expense, and the bad thing is, she could get pregnate again. That is really a bad situation to be in, and I feel sorry for you. Her using you like that is not going to work out. It will only cause big problems down the road for you. Get out as soon as you can, is the best advise I could give you. Good luck!

Answer 2

The boy is VERY LUCKY to have you. Thank GOD you are there for him. I totally respect you and your boyfriend. Keep it up, he will need you in the future. Expect NO thanks from the mom, as you know, your sister is the 'spoiled' one and will do nothing but think of herself for the rest of her life. If you totally isolate yourself from the boy now, he will never recover. You must stick by him, and any other kids your sis has in the future. She is a spoiled brat, and you've seen it all of your life, so now you can be the hero, in years to come, or he can be like me, and never had anyone that cared. I hope you don't choose the way I was raised. I had no one. I love you already for what you've done, don't let him down now, please. What you give, you will get back 100 fold. It's really true. Good luck, and I hope you make the right decision. Ron Couch

Answer 3

I think you and your sister should have a talk at the table, because this is a serious matter. She shouldn't be able to leave her son often because a child needs a mother. I'm going to tell you the truth -- this guy I love's mother abandoned him and his brother(s) when they were little and left them with a very hard life to live. This is why he doesn't get close to most females (except me, his grandmother, aunt). He was living with his mother for a while, she came home all crazy, and he was sleeping, it was a morning or something, she punched him in his chest, and he couldn't stay there anymore, so he got homeless, and I took him in to stay with me. I'm telling you, TALK TO YOUR SISTER. And you babysit too much, you should be able to leave your nephew to her more often, because it's like you have a lack of freedom.

Answer 4

You need to be firm. I know it's hard, especially with the little one involved. Put your foot down. Let her know in advance what days you simply CANNOT babysit. And don't do it. Surely she won't leave him there alone.

I know what I'm talking about. For the last 4 years I've been babysitting for my sister. She would bring them to me at 5:00 am and sometimes not pick them up til midnight. Now she is here by 3:00 every day. Firmness works. If not threaten to never babysit again.

Answer 5

You need to sit her down and explain to her that she needs to spend more time with her child. If not you or her might regret it in the future. This age level needs a parent who is able to interact and teach things more than when he/she was a baby. He/she will remember this time of his/her life. Tell your sister that she needs to just go out once maybe twice a week. Tell her you can't babysit all the time because you have your own life to deal with. She might understand that she is depending on you too much and that she is missing very valuable time with her child. My sister was the same way. My family explained it to her and she finally realized it when her son turned three. She now takes him and does things with him and he is a happier boy.

Answer 6

Oh, man! Your sis need to cool it. She should have gotten this out of her system before having a kid.

Ask her to give the kid up. To the dad. To foster care. If she protests, that's when you tell her to get her priorities straight.

She's a mom, now, and you aren't, yet you're starting to fill that role.

And all these guys around the kid? No good is ever going to come of that. The only role model the kid will have besides your man is flaky losers who are after your sister for one thing. And who knows what THEY'LL do to the kid!

Tell her the party's over.

Where's the dad?

Answer 7

You seem to give in a lot to your sister, May be now it is time for you to put your foot down and stand your ground after all you also have a life. You need to sit down a talk quietly with your sister and explain that you need time to yourself and your man. Your sister may be needs to be reminded that she has a child that needs HER attention not that of others. It is difficult for a child to understand that the mother is out.indicate that it is not impossible for her to bring her man home for the evening while you take time out, May be finding yourself a place of your own with your man and help her out where possible. Good luck

Answer 8

tell her you wont babysit anymore.

I know it sounds harsh, but these are the MOST IMPORTANT years of the childs life, it helps determine how the child will grow up, and what they grow up to be like, and with a mother who obviously doesnt give a damn about the welfare of ehr child, she doesnt deserve to be a mother. She must change, because the child deserves better.

Everyone should realise, that when babies arrive, partying leaves. Parenthood is not a part time job.

Answer 9

You gotta stop giving in and watching her son. She knows you'll do it for her so she takes advantage of you. Stop babysitting for her. The nights you know she goes out, Dont go home and leave her to her son. She has responsibilities. She needs to learn to take them first instead of finding a man. But you gotta help her take responsibility and stop helping her.....

Answer 10

You need to tell her to fix up and stop being so selfish - I understand that she wants someone in her life and she wants to enjoy herself, but she needs to understand thats she not the most important person in her life anymore. Her son is!
And you silly for letting her get away with it, its not your responsibility to look after HER son, just because you love them both does not mean you should be putting your self out. Sit her down and put her straight!