My gf has refused to get married or pregnant cos she says both are old fashioned, is that true???

Question

she is 26yrs and I'm 25yrs and we've been dating for 2yrs. Should I dump her?? cos I really want to settle down.

Answer 1

Yes dump her, she's playin' ya fool

Answer 2

Well, the values, as old-fashioned as they are, are wonderful things to have. It's natural to commit to one mate and have a family, otherwise, how can the future generation grow and mature?

Ironically, most girls usually want to settle down more than guys so there are two likely reasons your girlfriend said what she did.

Reason 1: She's scared of commitment and responsibility because maybe she's worried you will leave her to be a single parent or that'll she'll be a bad parent right now. It could be something really deep, like her family was in a bad way and she doesn't want that to happen to her own.

Reason 2: Maybe she's really focused on her career. She's doing really well and doesn't want to see that go down the drain by becoming a housewife or mother. Maybe you can volunteer to be a househusband if that's the case.

The point is, you know her better than I do. I know you really want to settle down. Good for you!

But consider these two things.

1) Are YOU ready for being a husband and father? Ask someone older about what it's about. I don't have the time nor experience to accurately say. If not, she could be saying it because she doesn't want to offend you by pointing things out to you.

2) Is she really good for you and your children? Can you both actually settle down together? If you're willing to work this out together, it can be possible for a happy ending after all.
If you find that it was a great romance but it'll be a bad relationship, it's tough but you might have to let her go.

All the best with your options and take your time to come up with the best solution. Things like this need time and thinking through and sacrifices on both sides to work out right. God bless.

Answer 3

Well, she's right that pregnancy and marriage are, in a way, old-fashioned... they've been around for centuries! :) But then, none of us would be here if not for pregnancy! LOL

Marriage, on the other hand, isn't so much about being "old-fashioned" as being about a certain set of values. It's a committed, ideally long-term relationship that's right for some and not for others.

I'd say it sounds like she's not ready to settle down, and may never care to. Unfortunately, a relationship with two different sets of values or different goals like this doesn't tend to work well. Some people give it a go to see if the other person will change their mind, and sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. Unless she has a major change of heart, this relationship won't lead to any altar.

Kudos to you for being the mature kind of guy that wants to settle down and be in a committed relationship.

Answer 4

Well, first of all, don't say 'dump' like this, it's kind of offensive.
But i think, yes, you should leave her, though i think you'll end up by regretting it if you settle down, and she'll end up by regretting it if she doesn't.
She's quite right: settling down is not a good thing, not ebcause it's old-fahsioned, but because men are not made to be married. they should be able to pick anyone up and then drop them--forming bonds and staying on life-time relationships is not relaly in their natures.
A french guy called sasha Guitry said: 'men are amde to be bachelors and women are made to be married, that's were all the world's problems spring from' and he's quite right.
And admit it, there are so many things to be done in life, what the hell's the point of wasting your time forming a family you'll end up by getting tired of?
Still, good luck, hope you find the answer you're looking for, and that you'll have a happy life.
Take care.

Answer 5

I am not as old as you are but have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and have also thought about settling down. Maybe she feels she is not quite ready herself. She may think that 2 years is not long enough and could be using "old fashioned" as an excuse. This is not saying that he doesn't love you or one day want to have a family with you, just that at this point in her life she wants to stay put and is happy in your place in the relationship. I would stick it out, if its meant to be, she will marry you and have your children when she is ready.

Answer 6

Well; that depends how much you want to settle down.

If getting married and having kids are key life objectives for you (And the latter is defiantely NOT old fashioned), then you may need to move on.

You'll need to find out if the GF is making just a here and now statement or never at all statement.

There's discussions to be had; but if having a family is in there, you may be on a road to nowhere.

Answer 7

Do you really need a ring and a piece of paper to Say you are committed, do you really need a baby to settle down?

Perhaps she doesn't want to get married at all but she could still committ to you. I think you need to find out if she wants children at all and if you do and she doesn't then you'll have no choice anyway.

Sounds to me that you both need to have a long serious think, sounds like you both want different things from life, not a good foundation for a life time relationship.

Answer 8

Now, I'm not sure if that's true... I've never heard of those as old fashioned but it might be to her due to her thinking. If you really want to settle down, and she doesn't, then she's not the woman for you. I'd suggest finding someone suitable, and good luck in the journey when/if that happens. It sounds to me that she's hiding something from you by what her sayings to you.

Answer 9

well I have never heard of been pregnant as old fashioned especially not in this day and age of "designer babies" so to speak. Talk to her, she may be scared of both and making this excuse to get out of both. she may be having second thoughts about the two of you,25 and 26 is still very young to be doing the baby and marraige thing, whats your rush, take your time. If you really feel your ready then you need to find out what are her reasons for not wanting to, and I mean her real reasons. If your gf is not the marrying kind then you have the ball in your court.

Answer 10

Well they are not old fashioned but they are not for everyone. If you really love her you will have to think can I stay with her and be happy not married and without kids for the rest of your life if the answer is yes then stay but if the answer is no then leave..

I met my partner and shortly after we became serious he told me flat out he didn't want kids or to get married. I was really upset at first but I loved him so much I knew I would be happy any way. I moved to the uk and we brought a house and then out of the blue he asked me to marry him, so in a weeks time I will be taking his name. and in the last year we have been discussing children and he wants then right away and more than I do and has actualy convinced me to have children long before I thought I would be ready. but now we are ready and we have been trying. I don't think he changed his mind but it does depend on who you are with and his pervious girlfriend was trying to push him into things which wasn't the rite way to go and when he met me and I was relaxed about it he realised what he really wanted and that was to make me his wife and share a life and children together....
but on the other hand his best mate has always wanted kids and has been with a girl for 12 years now she told him straight out she didn't want kids and has not changed her ideas on that but he seems happy enough and lives under the dream that she might change her mind.. but who knows.

good luck and folllow your heart.

Answer 11

I have a 32 year old nephew who's found out that many women don't want to settle down. They've told him that they want to party, buy clothes, jet-set around the country, and spend his money doing so. All he wants is a gal who'll settle down with him and have a couple of kids. Not a tall order. But the women he's met don't want that kind of life. If she doesn't want to settle down, even after knowing how you feel, I think you might have some decisions to make that won't be very popular, especially since you both seem to want differnet things. You can't make her want something she's not ready to do. If this is really what you want, you'll have to stop wasting her time (and yours) and let her go. There are certain things that are deal breakers in our lives. We have certain dreams and goals that we value. If she doesn't see the value in your dreams, why you hanging onto her? Do you really want to be with someone who doesn't share your values, and actually seems to make fun of them? Calling marriage and family old fashioned is belittling the very things you hold as important to you. If she can't see that, let her go. You can't settle down with someone who won't settle. If it's not something she really wants for herself, encouraging her to want it for you won't work. She'll resent you, and eventually the relationship will fall apart. Be patient. That's the hardest part, but your values are something to be protected and cherished. Very few people stand firm on their principles anymore. It's good to see there are still a few out there. <*)))><