im confused cause me and my bf broke up but he is still calling me. he is 43 and im 37. well to start he lies all the time, he doesnt help me with the chores, he never cooks, he doesnt do anything romantic, he stares at anything with a vigina. he parties almost every other weekend. he only has sex when he hasnt had any for a while. we have been together for 2 and a half years and never spent new years eve together. if i say i want to break up he says ok. but he calling me telling me he loves me. whats the point if he is not going to make me happy. what does he want from me. he must think im a crash dummy. he makes his plans for every saturday to go do what he wants. he never plans to do something just us two . he rips and runs every weekend. some people sit down sometime. but not him. what should i think about this.
2006-09-20 20:35:10 · 23 answers · asked by eaglestraces123 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's using you and you're letting him. The hard to hear (read) truth. And you did ask for it, for real. He does all this crap because he's done it for 2 1/2 years and has gotten away with it. So when you 'break-up' with him, as in, you don't really 'break-up' with him. That' why every time you supposedly do, he'll call you & start with the lovey dovey word games and guess what? it works because 2 1/2 years later, supposedly you've broken up with him again, he's calling and you're asking what to do because you just keep repeating the same pattern, and he knows it and like the child he behaves like, children, especially babies & toddlers, repeat behaviours that get them exactly what they want!! BooHoo crying at night maybe all night for a bottle which I believe almost every parent (likely mother's!) will give to the kid? Personally, my kid breatfed for 8 months then I weaned him & even gave him cold milk cuz it's only what they get used to having! The plastic container in the bottle broke just once too often when I'd just filled it & the bottles were GONE! He never got one in bed anyway. So honey, if you are TRULY & REALLY sick & tired of this S.S.D.D. with this jerk, if you really have broken up with him at the moment, hopefully so and you've made HIM move out, make sure you pack all his crap and do NOT ever let him back in for anything! Put his crap outside, throw it out the window, in the garbage, whatever, but do NOT call him to tell him where it is, then call him to tell him you changed your mind & put it someplace else! Just get rid of his crap, and him! Get a different number and if he comes around, tell him you will call the cops if he keeps bothering you and you'll get a restraining order. This is the kicker though, you MUST be prepared to follow through with everything you tell him. Even a restraining order if simply threatening him with one doesn't get rid of him. Because at that point he really has become a stalker and a danger. You need to do this RIGHT NOW & get it done & over with. The faster you do it, and I do know that it is going to hurt you emotionally very much, but I also know that you're going to get hurt very much eventually so get rid of him right now and hurt now so that by New Year's Eve, you won't even be thinking about him because you'll be having too much fun doing whatever it is you feel like doing instead of sitting around sulking!!
Good luck!!!
2006-09-20 20:51:17 · answer #1 · answered by raquelha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend there is nothing to think about. As he has some psychological problem and you are his solution. Let me explain. He has to feel secure in his relationships, like he needs a mother figure in his life and unfortunately that is what you are to him. A substitute for his mother. If I am you I will dump his sorry ***. Change my number, move to a different location and if things get really hectic - put out a restraining order out on him. When you break up with him make sure that he gets the message loud and clear. Don't take any calls from him and don't see him after that either. Best of luck amigo and if you should need any more advice be sure to check out my 360.
2006-09-21 03:45:15 · answer #2 · answered by Rock Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It always takes two to tango. Love must be shared mutually among those within realtionships, unless you are a martyr or someone helping the needy then that's another thing. Get a life! Have mercy on yourself. But if you want to stay that way, well it is all up to you.
2006-09-21 03:44:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate to say it, but it sounds like you are his backup plan. Show him your not-when he acts like he doesnt care about something, act like you dont care either. That should shock him. Sounds childish, but isnt he a little old to be acting in such a way?shouldnt he be more mature than that by now? maybe you should think really hard about why your with him- it might not even be worth the stress. Dump him and let him come crawling back to you-better yet- dump him and save yourself years of heartache.
2006-09-21 03:41:35 · answer #4 · answered by anondewd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore him..he is trying to move back in when your at your vulnerable time. Block his calls. You already took the big step and cut the link..DON'T waver. You are worth being treated with dignity and respect let your big self come out and little "i' take a rest. Life is to short for heartache and more drama..if you want good hange with good people till you feel good about you and discover you are good people too.
2006-09-21 03:48:38 · answer #5 · answered by Ms. Inquisitive 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from experience, the only thing i have been able to come up with , is that he's using the hell out of you. And your letting him. Put a stop to it. Why do we let men get away with this crap? Maybe he is so miserable with himself, that he wants to see someone else just as miserable. If a man can't make u happy, find one that can.
2006-09-21 03:44:23 · answer #6 · answered by penelope 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave him behind. He wants somone to make him feel better and take care of him but he dosn't want to reciprocate. You need to find somone who will care for yuo just as much as you care for him. I know it's hard from experience. I've toiled over the smae decision. In the end it was best to make him leave and I really feel that this would be best for you. It may not be but I hope you find your way.
2006-09-21 03:49:21 · answer #7 · answered by Redhead with love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK he's 43 years old and is still acting like a kid.He will never change and will continue treating you like that.You need to grow a backbone change your number and never speak to him again.If he continues get a restraining order.
2006-09-21 03:46:56 · answer #8 · answered by mrsdragon76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's been acting like a real jerk! Leave him! It's the best option you have. And do it quick! If he calls you again, don't answer even though you die inside. Time heals. You deserve a better man!Good luck!
2006-09-21 03:50:29 · answer #9 · answered by dulcefragola 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he constantly running because he's on drugs?
Why are you wasting your time with him? He obviously doesn't respect and treat you right. He's using you. Sounds like you need to put your foot down, and be more firm with him.
Explain that "NO" means "NO", and move on! You can do better than that.
2006-09-21 03:40:26 · answer #10 · answered by ♫☼♥ ≈ Debbi ≈ ♥☼♫ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋