i have been dating a married man for the past 5 months and i know its wrong and i have tried to break up with him twice already and every time i have tried we just end up getting back together. He says he loves me and that he doesnt love her anymore and that they have been having problems for the past few years. I am probably being stupid here but i would like to give him the benefit of the doubt because everytime they fight he phones me crying. She has threatened to kill herself if he leaves her now we both love each other and want to be together but i dont know how much more of this drama i can take. what should i do
2006-09-20 20:25:06 · 20 answers · asked by destiny 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tell him you are not going to be his bit of fun on the side anymore, and if he's serious about you then leave his wife for good or he can kiss your a**e goodbye, but stick to what you say don't let him sweet talk you.
He could be telling the truth, he could be really miserable, but if its been 5 months and he hasn't left her yet then I don't think he is going to.
If he loves you like he claims to, then he would of set about leaving her before now no matter how ugly and complicated it would be.
I think he may be having his cake and eating it, you have got a very hard choice to make, if not for yourself do it for his wife, like some others told you, how would you feel if the boot was on the other foot. You don't know the In's and outs of their relationship you only have his side of the story, ask yourself has he done something else to this woman that has made her like she is and if so is he going to turn you into a wreck like he possibly has her?
These situations can work out for the mistress, but most of the time they don't. I went through something similar, thou I wasn't the mistress and I wasn't sleeping with him, and told him I would have nothing to do with him while he was still with his wife, there was no children involed and he took a big gamble and walked away from his marriage before anything had happened between us, 2 years on we are still together and very much in love.
Good Luck
2006-09-20 20:49:44 · answer #1 · answered by Migz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. Because obviously you are suffering. If he wants to leave her then he should leave her and if she wants to commit suicide, well then tell him to put her into a suicidal support group. This is not your problem and I suggest that you stay out of it. If he loves you then give him the ultimatum to leave her for you. I am sure that he loves you dearly and would do anything to keep you guys together. Sit him down and talk to him about this whole thing and ask him how does it make him feel. Be sure not to make him feel guilty or anything. Best of luck amigo and if you should need any more advice log onto my 360.
2006-09-21 03:31:10 · answer #2 · answered by Rock Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the story you are in is very sad. I can understand your feelings, but if you can't take it anymore maybe you should consider leaving him, or at least trying to avoid him for a while. Take care of yourself for once in your life and stop thinking about him. I know it's difficult and hard but time heals. Don't think it's easy for me to say, since I've been through a similar situation. There are plenty of single men out there and I am sure that you 'll have a chance meeting one. Good luck!
2006-09-21 03:31:58 · answer #3 · answered by dulcefragola 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you should take a break and let him leave her, she will not kill herself, it is just a guilt trip to make him stay. how do you know that he "loves you" after 5 months anyway? you are probably a rebound , he is coming from an unhappy marriage that he hasnt' even left yet!!!! i would leave him be to let him figure out what he wants to do and then do, then maybe you can have a real relationship with this man.
2006-09-21 03:31:05 · answer #4 · answered by sweet serinity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's all a bunch of bull he wants his cake and eating it too. End the relationship most of them like this do not work out. You deserve better than a man that already has committed himself to someone else. Him and his wife need to figure out their own problems. Find you a nice single man think about how it would feel to be in her shoes. If he'll cheat on his wife he will cheat on you.
2006-09-21 03:35:39 · answer #5 · answered by jenn_burks311 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO MA'AM!!! First of all, what you have between you is NOT "love"!!! It is LUST AND INFATUATION, plain and simple! You are living in A FANTASY WORLD!!! You should be ASHAMED of yourself, contributing to the BREAK UP OF A HOME like you are! PLEASE, do NOT insult the intelligence of those of us who KNOW what it means to TRULY be "in love"!!! LOVE is A COMMITMENT, and that "commitment" is called MARRIAGE!!! And it is "till DEATH do us part", not till "incompatibilty"! Do you think God was kidding when He said, "THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY" ??? Trust me, if you continue on with this FACADE, "be sure your SIN will find you out!" (Numbers 32:23). You need to QUIT IT NOW! You're "boyfriend" is a SCUMBAG, and he REALLY ought to be ashamed CHEATING ON HIS DEAR WIFE like that! I can gaurantee you the reason they've "been having problems for the past few years" is because HE IS THE PROBLEM! He probably treats her like CRAP! He is INSENSITIVE! As well as SELFISH! And most definitely A LIAR! And besides the fact that he is HEADED FOR HELL, what makes you think that YOU can trust him if HIS OWN WIFE CAN'T? Are you that BLINDED BY YOUR OWN LUST that you actually THINK he LOVES you? HE'S LYING! His "phone tears" are PHONEY tears! And you are GULLIBLE ENOUGH to believe him! WAKE UP GIRL! And be forewarned, BOTH of you: "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled; but whoremongers and adulterers GOD WILL JUDGE." (Hebrews 13:4) Don't think YOU will escape, hunny! God's judgment will fall on YOU as well! GET OUT NOW! WHILE YOU CAN! And my MAIN advise to you is: REPENT OF THIS WICKEDNESS AND CALL ON THE LORD JESUS CHRIST TO SAVE YOU FROM YOUR SINS! Ask God to HAVE MERCY on you for being A FORNICATOR! And what the Bible calls a "strange woman". That's a woman who MESSES WITH MARRIED MEN! That's YOU!!! FOR SHAME!!!
2006-09-21 03:48:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What happen if she does kill herself after he leaves her and immediately goes with you. damn, that is heavy burden. That thought will stay with you forever. Best is to tell him to sort out his affairs first. If he plans to leave her... then leave her... but not because of you but because their relationship did not work out.
So basicly, ask for timeoff between you and him. Tell him to go sort out his relationship with his wife first. If you "truely" love each other, it can wait till they are done meaning divorce papers and all. If not, you or him will end up liking someone else. If that happens, then your love wasn't really that strong anyway.
something like that... think it over.
2006-09-21 03:34:28 · answer #7 · answered by late4ever 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I am probably being stupid..." - girl, there is no "probably" about it! You are letting him play you for a fool. How do you know that anything he tells you is the truth? After all, he is cheating on his wife, why do you think he would not lie to you? Call his wife and get her side of the story, I bet that would be an eye-opener for you.
2006-09-21 03:29:44 · answer #8 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's what all married guys say that don't want to leave their wives ... she'll kill herself. I'm not buying into that. She won't kill herself ... she'll make out like a bandit. That's the problem.
2006-09-21 03:44:40 · answer #9 · answered by Sam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Back away from this situation....IMMEDIATELY!!!!!
Sorry to tell you this but, HE WILL NEVER LEAVE HIS WIFE.
There's too much to loose.
Besides, how would you feel if you were trying to save your marriage and some woman kept interferring with your relationship.
You both need to move on. Don't talk to him, don't look at him, don't think about him, don't call him. Eventually these feelings will pass.
2006-09-21 03:34:12 · answer #10 · answered by Chellebelle78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋