I am feeling so very low-I am at home mom of 6 children-my teens hate me-I feel cut off with NO friendshelpme?

Question

I have no friends from devoting my life to my kids-I'm single, with help from their dad, but cannot afford to pay daycare to work-my teenagers are flipping out, my other kids are rude and selfish, and my little 2 year old just cannot live unless I am attatched to his side at every moment-INCLUDING all night-he cries when I go to the bathroom for cripes sake. I have no friends, and I feel no one cares-my 17 year old just told me she hates me and wants to leave. I went to call someone and realized-there is NO ONE NOT ONE SOul who cares whether I live or die-my own mother tgakes every opportunity to tell my kids how mean I am(because I have rules for the kids) she buys them things I can never buy and I feel like a wounded animal where the vultures are circling, waiting for me to give up. I want to pack and leave, but my two little ones would suffer and grieve and be so confused.Why is this happening to me? I feel the life draining out of me daily-I just dont want to go on anymore

Answer 1

my heart sank & i prayed.

1stly u not alone in this, 2ndly don't leave your young ones. they r helpless without u, 3rdly concentrate on making your situation better than deal with the teenager. i advice u do the following:

u may not be christian but u can go to a church nearest to u that has community service programme & a small support groups. u can get physical help & food & clothing stuff provisions, furniture etc. from the community programme .
the small support group have geniune caring people that can be a friend, support, take care of kids, pick up & drop things for u, pray for u , give sound advice. role model for your kids.

God bless & take care, peace, man

Answer 2

Its overwhelming and hard to be a mom and not a lot of people realize it!! First let me tell you that from the sound of this you deserve the mom of the year award!!!

Teenagers hate their parents that's not new so try not to get too frustrated with it...they will learn to appreciate you soon.

Is there no way that you can get their dad to help a Little with the care taking?? One afternoon, or a Sunday morning. Or one evening? Then try to go and do something for yourself anything at all. Go for a walk to clear your head, see a movie, treat yourself for a manicure...once you take care of yourself you'll feel energized to keep going.

As for your mom, can you have a heart to heart talk with her and ask her for some help or how you can work out away that you don't feel the way you feel by her actions?

You can't get up and leave because as you said the little ones with suffer and you don't sound like a person who can handle that.

About making friends....a great way is to join a mommy and me class with the little one (the two year old) every town recreation center has one.

Finally if you still feel that way and feel that you may be depressed, please see a doctor. You need to do that for yourself and for your kids, they need you!!

Best of luck and I hope things work out, if you need to vent some more, email me.

Answer 3

well you cant just leave..that would be the simple solution so it seems..but you got to think about the well being of your kids, and stuff but you also need to find a way to have time for yourself..maybe you could start by getting your teens involed in a youth group that helped me when i was a teen and my mom didnt have money, and for the little ones there is programs that help out with them..mommy and me, and so on maybe you could call someone and ask for help..

You are not alone many people have felt this way, I have my mom, and my husband but it gets hard if everyone is not there to support..i would find people to fill in for what i need and get on with my life. If your mom wants to be that way then she can. My husbands mom isnt apart of our lives and we have just found ways to move on..

My advice is look into a church become an active member, and work on yourself about how you feel..sounds like you need time out a way, and your at your lowest point..

Things could be a lot worse..believe me..hang on it will get better..just dont give up

Answer 4

you have alot to handle so obviously you feel overwhelmed. I get suicidal from time to time to, but maybe tomorrow will be a better day. Live for your kids (you two year old needs you). You know what? I don't know why you don't realize this, but your kids care about you. They don't mean what they say. Your teen can't leave cuz he/she is under your care and is still a minor. Your two year old cares for you and needs you and would be devastated if you up and left without notice! Please be the responsible parent you need to be and take care of your family as well as yourself. Get help (by that I mean professional help like a psychiatrist, therapist, etc.) Do not I repeat DO NOT take medication if your emotional problems can be solve without them. Take vitamins and start enjoying life. Go to the movies with your family, take a vacation. I'm sure you'll find hapiness soon, don't worry about it.

Answer 5

You are stressed. You need to run away for a few days. Re-group. Why did you have so many children? Do you really think that having children just because you can, you are being a good mother?

Stop blaming your mother for the way you feel. They are your children and you are out of control.
Teenagers are a horror period. so were you when you were their age. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and grow up, get a grip.
you really need to leave for the sake of your children's sake, they need an effective, caring nurturing mother, not a maid.

Once again, did you know what you were getting into when you had six children? Where is the father, so he can balance things out?

Answer 6

I am definitely bothered by this time of parenting. Not only will the kid feel neglected and have the opportunity to get into a lot of trouble with an empty house, but they are also probably going to be more likely to have sex and do other things like that because they've watched their mom have relationships like that. I live with my mom, dad, and three siblings. My dad is the provider and my mom takes care of us all.

Answer 7

6 is a very large number for children, any way, you need to discipline these children, it takes time, if u continue to live this way your children will take you for granted, and u don't want that, first develop your authority, how do you do that, just simply stop doing the stuff you do for your children, like cooking food, and other stuff (for a short while only) let them feel that they are dependent upon you.
One more thing its not going to be easy, children can be difficult to handle, but its possible, so first of all develop your authority, let your children feel that they are dependent upon you. you don't have to be rude to them.
and most importantly get married to some one who could help you around with these children.

Answer 8

Hang on--
1. You let your 17 year old go for a while and they will realize their need for you or at least recognize you in the future for what you have done.
2. You stand up more to your 2 yr old and use strong parenting and get him (or her) a little more independence.
3. You stand up to your mother and speak to her about her actions. Do not refuse her gifts because they benefit your children.
4. Never leave your children-even if you leave-always find a way to take them with you or stay for them until they are old enough.
5. Take some more time for yourself.
6. Try to contact people like cousins or old friends and develop relationships with them.
7. Do not let go of yourself and take all of these things happening to you like learning experiences and ways to feel fortunate once things start going better for you.

Answer 9

All I can say is to pray for patience.I don't know you but you sound like a very strong women as a mother i know it is hard .You need some alone time to go out meet people take the stress off.As for your mother and daughter ,your mom tell her to back off your doing the best you can and she should respect that,As for your daughter she will be eighteen soon she will have her own life to deal with pretty soon .Listen only the srtong survive and you have to be strong.

Answer 10

You are going to have to regain control over your home.
Teenagers are difficult, the smaller ones need a firm hand. When we are depressed it is easier to give in to their demands that set them straight. It only makes things worse in the long run.
Have you thought about getting yourself on some anti-depressants? There are counselors that will see you and charge on a sliding scale.
If you are a religious person, drawing on your faith wouldn't be a bad idea either.

Blessings )O(