I'm 48 separated 4 years, My X has a boyfriend, and I date from time to time. Why the hell do I still hurt when I know tat it's so over.
2006-09-20 18:59:18 · 13 answers · asked by harleyram 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
As we get a little older...we fall in love in a different way than when we are kids...it is hard for you to let go because you still adore her...no one is going to tell you to stop it because it is ingrained in you so hang on there....the same thing happened to me..and i ended up marrying him God bless
2006-09-20 19:17:35 · answer #1 · answered by MotherKittyKat 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Many people can never forget the love and the good times that were lost whether it was a marriage or not. Many people never do. The important thing that I always try to remember is that I can still have love and good times and be someone who won't let others down and break their heart - focus on the people who are still committed to you and in your life. When you've truly loved someone - I don't think you ever forget. It takes time, give yourself time - it will get easier. If you have kids or your relatives have kids - spending time with them could be your ticket to getting this off your mind a bit and experiencing some joy.
2006-09-20 19:08:01 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You holding on to the what ifs of the past is not going to be very appealing to that prince in fabulous leather chaps on a white stallion. Hubba Hubba!You had some great times with your ex and you should always remember those times. But there were reasons that you are no longer together and you need to also remember those. so think back to when it was over without being officially over.
G-U-I-L-T
Its a horrible thing. That conscience that we were all raised with sometimes gets the best of us. If there is any sort of guilt involved then yes, you will hold on and keep holding on to the IDEA of still being in love with him. Darling, it's just an idea, but You know it is not going to happen. You know it has been and is over. No what ifs and no "but I" or "But he". Time heals all wounds but if ya keep reopening those wounds with a sharp object , how do you expect them to heal?
You need to forgive him and most important you need to forgive yourself.
when you read the word GUlLT up above, what was the first image or memory that skimmed through your thoughts? No, not the guy on the horse, honey. what thoughts came to mind about your ex? A particular argument? something you said or did? something he said or did?
if you say "i dunno" or "I can't think of anything?" then go back to the top of my answer and read all over again. see what pops in your head then.
P.S. when your knight in leather chaps comes along, and he will (maybe not in leather, but he will), ask him if he has a straight brother and send him my way. WOO HOO.
2006-09-20 19:46:12 · answer #3 · answered by Whycantichangemypic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your head knows its over but does your heart? Dating others is just a band aide. You date because she has a boyfriend and that hurts you but you don't want to look like the X that wont move on. You need closure you need to talk with her to end it once and for all. Maybe you should go to counseling to help you with this process.
2006-09-20 19:08:13 · answer #4 · answered by sayj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You hurt after being seperated 4years is because it maybe due to 2 possibilities---(1)maybe you are very much still in love with your x and you cant forget your X
(2)Maybe you are envious of yourX having a boyfriend other than you!
2006-09-20 19:12:48 · answer #5 · answered by radhakum1958 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats tough, extremely i may well be baffled too if I have been you! My now ex-fiance sounds lots like your husband. somewhat it will be very, very no longer trouble-free for you 2 to artwork issues out and in spite of you do, do no longer pretend a happy marriage for the sake of your daughter, it is going to in user-friendly terms reason all of you greater soreness! Your husband IS appearing like a newborn. i think of you ought to refuse all his demands a on a similar time as. no count how lots experience you attempt to push into his head, if he doesnt study from that and refuses counseling the only way he will in all probability study is from going interior the path of the soreness. Do deliver him an email explaining your place, yet enable that be it and stick to your weapons. It makes it lots greater durable which you have a newborn yet an incredible type of toddlers strengthen up in simple terms advantageous with out the two mothers and fathers around continuously. attempt to get your daughter into greater activities, and while she does ask approximately her dad all you're able to do is reassure her that her daddy does love her very lots, yet he had to circulate away for a on a similar time as. you do no longer ought to tell the full fact to a 4-365 days-old no count what every physique says, she wont understand. All you're able to do is supply her greater love and extremely be reliable approximately refusing his demands good now. Its a stable thought so you might hunt for counseling for this, extremely. you ought to discover an incredible type of solutions. stable luck and God Bless!!
2016-10-15 06:06:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one wants to believe they failed. Especially at love and marriage.
You'll never "get over it" but it will stop bothering you so much, over time. I find that once you find someone new who you actually love, it makes it easier to put behind you. Not dating, but a healthy and happy relationship. When you have something like a marriage for so long and then it's taken away, there's a void.
Good luck!
2006-09-20 19:02:19 · answer #7 · answered by trash1ey 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
that is why you hurt hon. you know it is over. but you need to let yourself be happy with her. once you learn to be happy alone you will find someone to be happy with.
or you will turn into a homicidal maniac like me. i hope you don't go my route.
best of luck.
2006-09-20 19:07:55 · answer #8 · answered by beckdawgydawg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well comming from a shrink, its because you have not let go. you think u have but deep down u haven't . even tho u know its over deep down you have not except it, plus you more in likely u still love this lady
2006-09-20 19:04:27 · answer #9 · answered by angie c 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Mostly because you are a big-time wuss!
Get over it already!
2006-09-20 19:02:44 · answer #10 · answered by joshanderson76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋