This is sorta a dating question b/c the gf and I just talked and she didn't say it exactly, but I think she is terrified to get too close to me b/c of a fear of abandonement (she didn't offer any details, and I didn't ask). Now please don't judge whether this is an accurate assessment or not, but tell me if anyone has dealt with stuff like this and been able to overcome it when it comes to relationships? What kinds of things worked best?
2006-09-20 18:21:21 · 6 answers · asked by randyken 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Alright, I absolutely adore everything about this girl but she has some pain in her past that she is not ready to share, but she is starting to open up a little. She told me verbatim that words couldn't express how much she cares for me (and I believe her 100%) but she is worried about herself b/c she has always pushed her partners away. That to me screams that she fears being abandoned once she opens all the way up to me. How can I reassure her that I have no intention of that? I love this woman.
2006-09-20 18:31:02 · update #1
Space and patience. As you grow closer she will open up to you about the past. If something happened very recently she will need time to learn to love herself again. Until that happens, the walls are hard to tear down.
2006-09-20 18:27:04 · answer #1 · answered by dbackbarb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most women fear relationships due to abandonment. They feel after giving everything they have the man will up and leave them as soon as they see someone better. So its best if you just ask her how she feels about you two having a relationship her fears etc.
2006-09-21 02:05:06 · answer #2 · answered by Ycul72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will just take some time. The best thing that you can do is be patient. Its really hard to love someone and have them leave you, It scars a person and it stays with you for along time, sometimes forever. I think if you are there for her and patient, after some time she will come to realize that she can trust you and your not going anywhere.
2006-09-21 01:27:15 · answer #3 · answered by sassysharli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, don't "maybe" this type of stuff. If you're just trying to get in her pants, lay off. If you actually like her and want to get emotionally closer and most likely physically closer, then you should clarify. Seriously, would you tip toe around in a dark room with bear traps everywhere or just turn on the damn light?
2006-09-21 01:25:44 · answer #4 · answered by Kamikaze 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to her and let her now how you feel about her and that you will never do that to her. You need to make her feel good about herself and your relationship. She may be afraid due to the past relationships, and you need to assure her. It will be hard, but time will help her overcome her problems.
2006-09-21 01:22:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
???
2006-09-21 01:25:03 · answer #6 · answered by Putt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋