I live in Japan (for work). But last year, August, I went to visit my parents in Virginia. I brought with me my friend and her two kids. My wife and our 2yr. daughter had to visit her sick father (in Japan). Now, about midway of the one week we have to visit. My parents accuse me of an affair. I have done nothing to even arrose such supicion. She starts doing mean things. Like, while driving my mom stops the car and tells me "to get out. But they can stay!" This makes an arguement and then return home. I even called my wife and let them talk. But My parents were still not convinced. After that embaressing trip I haven't called or emailed them back. Except once to try and talk about it. But they haven't aplogized for their behavior to me or my friend. And they really don't want to talk about it. What should I do? Say forget and leave at that? Make them talk about it? Because they have done similar things to my older two brothers and even my younger brother in the last 2 and 3yrs.
2006-09-20 17:24:25 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
well if you have seen it happen with your brothers it was bound to happen with you..getting them to talk about it will not help i would just except that's the way they are, and leave the subject off limits..i wouldn't let that stop me, they will always be your mom and dad..sometimes the older people just wont see anything else like my grandma she used to do and say all kinds of things about me but i realize it is the time she came from and her worrying about my well being..you see if this was true it would really hurt your wife maybe its nice they care for your wife..even tho they don't like your friend..i wouldn't put myself in that situation again tho..
2006-09-20 17:29:11 · answer #1 · answered by away right now 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I have had some issues with my folks, but I am a grown woman with a life of my own so....
I remember that I cannot control other people's actions or reactions, only MY OWN.
I remember that they are my parents, they loved me, cared for me and gave me wonderful opportunities.
I remember that I can choose to stay with them, or in my own home or a hotel.
I remember that I can choose not to discuss a topic if I don't want to.
I remember that they are older and I love them.
You can't MAKE anyone do anything, like talk about something. If you want closure you can tell them again, "nothing is going on, I am sorry you feel that way and I'm sad you don't trust me. But I have done nothing to be ashamed of so I am not going to feel that way."
Next visit you can say, "I love you so I think it'll be easier if I stay with Joe (or at a hotel)."
Remember, you can only make choices about your behaviour, no one elses!!
2006-09-21 00:42:59 · answer #2 · answered by seaelen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would write them a letter and tell the off and remind them that they are you parents not some spoiled children trying to control and bully people tell them to grow up tell them its said they raised there children and there children have grown up and become wiser and more mature explain how hurt and disappointed you are in them behaving children if i were you i would also tell then not to bother with you or your imediate family until the apologize to your friend and her kids and you as well and dont talk to them no more its there loss and dont give in remember control seems to me to be the underlining issue do they only judge there children like criminal trash or do they envy them and wish they were young again ther are some wierd issue going on there it would bother me to the point where i would just cut them off completely or ask them to seek proffesinal help or maybe even family counseling
2006-09-21 00:48:52 · answer #3 · answered by DIrtycircus 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to encourage them to talk to you about it. They evidently have some issues, and you have a right to know why they are treating you this way, as do your siblings. You are being kind to your friend and your wife seems to accept this. Your parents need to accept it, too. Being kind to other people is always the right thing to do. If your parents can't come to terms with that, just know that your heart is in the right place.
2006-09-21 00:33:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Perhaps sit them down, and offer to let them know the moment you even consider having an affair, to save them the embarrassment of having to accuse innocent people of having one just for drama.... That might work.
OR, inquire as to their preoccupation with the subject of cheating. perhaps they have some skeletons in the closet that they are projecting onto you?
2006-09-21 00:30:18 · answer #5 · answered by miracol@sbcglobal.net 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Better forget and leave
2006-09-21 00:38:36 · answer #6 · answered by your noon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don not know
2006-09-21 00:29:09 · answer #7 · answered by gopal_gopal46 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow! they need to chill, its up to you if you want to keep tryin to talk it over with them. Its their problem.
2006-09-21 00:27:20 · answer #8 · answered by youdontknowme 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
SNIFF,SNIFF, I SMELL BS AGAIN...
2006-09-21 00:30:11 · answer #9 · answered by BEERBELLY 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋