I've dealt with it for years, now it's come to a point where it made me lose my fiance of 4 years. I held grudges, wouldn't let little things go, thought of traumatizing childhood experiences. It's taken me losing my love to realize what I'm doing wrong. I've been doing better, but I still struggle. Anyone have advice on how I can let go of my anger and pain?
2006-09-20 17:20:40 · 19 answers · asked by irish_mick_25 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I am so sorry for your loss. time will help. Keep busy if you sit there and think of it it is harder to overcome. When you are busy you are thinking of what you have to accomplish, like a work project, volunteer somewhere you will meet more people and that will keep you busy. as hard as it is the more you dwell on it the harder it is. (I do not mean to sound harsh but it is a fact, and I feel for you.) I have had several close people die on me. The best thing someone could do was let me know that they would be there anytime I needed to talk. Over the years it was a bit odd My sister when I was 9 right after her a nephew was born. God giveth and God taketh away. I found my sisters the hardest since she was studying to become a nurse and just received her nurses cap 19 a young age to go. An uncle due to disgusting Lou Gehrig's disease 4 yrs ago My father with cancer 2 yrs ago another sister 3 yrs ago. these a few but someone studying to become a nurse to help save lives please why her? Now whenever I hear the sound of thunder I'll say There are some angels bowling upstairs looking over me, I see lightning, Some one got a strike. It may sound strange but is this person in pain or suffering anymore that is one bright way to look at it as hard as it is. Your other friends and family should be there supporting you Time will let you heal at your own pace but knowing someone is there for you is very comforting.
2006-09-20 17:36:42 · answer #1 · answered by tazachusetts 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling, for one thing. Praying is another thing you can do. Also, try to look at the BIG picture and how important the things are that you are angry about and holding onto. It might be for the best that you and your fiance broke up, especially if issues in your relationship were causing the biggest part of your anger. Your reasons for being angry may be valid, especially if they are issues that are unresolved and/or still going on. Look at your experiences as learning lessons and better yourself as a result of them. Your anger really hurts yourself more than anyone else. If you need counseling for past issues, do right by yourself and go get the help you need. It will change your perspective if you let it.
2006-09-21 00:29:27 · answer #2 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been through it also. I still think back, but in my defense he gave me reasons, but in his defense I let him by with it. It's been 3 years and I still remember the hurt, the jealousy, and I still remember dates. Love can take away your sanity and in some cases you never recover. The only advise I can give is to move forward very slowly and don't try to forget ,because you won't, just try to forgive. Always remember, when you point your finger at someone there are three more pointing back at you. We've all messed up somewhere so make the best of it and live and learn. Good luck and happiness to you.
2006-09-21 00:35:10 · answer #3 · answered by Liome 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to realise- it's not worth it. NO miserable event in life- is worth sacrificing your future for. All the baggage of pain & hurt you're dragging around- is holding YOU back, & dragging YOU down, and making YOU unhappy.-No one else. The past is fixed in place- no one can change it. But the future is of YOUR choosing..-& if YOU taint it with whatever ill feelings you haven't let go of from the past, you're ruining the future for yourself. We ALL make mistakes. The trick IS- to keep from making the same ones- by letting the old ones go. Don't give up. Good luck.
2006-09-21 00:42:58 · answer #4 · answered by Joseph, II 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your best way is therapy. Talk to your friends and family. Some time animal therapy can be the best thing. Just simple wright thing down and then tearing them up can help. Since you realize your help now is time to get some help. Best of wishes!
2006-09-21 01:10:22 · answer #5 · answered by rosebudwow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really should focus on how great YOU are...try for a few days to think of nothing but yourself. I bet you're the type that worries about and takes care of everyone else. well, time to change that.
Once you become positive, everything else will fall into place.
2006-09-21 00:38:31 · answer #6 · answered by Z Z 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am in the same boat, buddy.
the best way is to let go and forgive. but it is one of the hardest things you or i will do.
i pray and ask God to help me out. excercise helps a lot. like running. but don't run from your thoughts and feelings.
write them down, write a poem about it.
see a doctor and tell them this. it could be a health issue, too. like you have a deficiency of some sort.
take care
2006-09-21 00:29:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I agree it is hard to let go. Like you, I have lost the one I love. I am sick of the useless thoughts occupying my brain. My love is gone and it hurts. Life is so hard. You definitely need to let your hair down and find something that will restore joy to you and to move on.
2006-09-21 00:57:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It might not be so simple to release it.
Try meeting more people and friends.
When you meet them you will learn and discover lots.
You will learn how to cope things with people.
Sharing ideas and problems.. anything!
In turn you could have forgetten the problems,
cope with the problems,
while havin fun and enjoying their companies.
Be more positive.
Day by day...
Things will turn out better...
When you wake up everyday..
You must think positive and plan what to do ahead..
Think of what you miss lately.. think of what you like to do...
think whom you wish to meet for lunch..
Get yourself busy and distracted with meaningful things
2006-09-21 00:36:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should try takling to a counsellor to figure out what is making you behave like that. The reasons might not be just from the past.it might be from now. they may also have some suggestions as to how o deal with it.
2006-09-21 00:31:30 · answer #10 · answered by boogiesbottom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋