I recently met a Reverend. We're not dating traditionally because of both of our faiths. Since divorce rates are high and neither one of us believe in divorce except under the circumstances mentioned in the bible, we've decided that a trial "live in" to get to know each other and really understand each other was in order. I believe by doing this, its a chance to see if our marriage can really work. This "live-in" wouldn't be for another 6mos or so, but being that he is a Reverend this has brought some conflict with my family because we aren't even of the same denomination. According to the bi-laws of his church. There's nothing that prohibits it, or in scripture. However, fornication and premarital sex are prohibited. What do you think?
2006-09-20 17:18:38 · 31 answers · asked by N_Quizitive_1 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
His congregation doesn't mind. His church believes that a couple should do what it takes to prevent divorce. Oh yeah, he knows what fornication is. LOL.
2006-09-20 17:28:21 · update #1
I think it's between you guys and God.
2006-09-20 17:20:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 4⤋
If you are concerned with divorce then you need to know that various studies have shown that couples that shack up before marriage have a greater divorce rate than those who don't. Spiritually I would tell you that to concentrate on a thin technicality for support in such an important situation is not wise. You are both putting yourselves in an unfavorable position and flirting with immorality and setting a bad example especially for your reverend. Leave this man because if he really cared for you he would not put you in a dangerous situation. A true man of God leads people away from sin not to get close to it or commit it. Don't fool yourself or let yourself be fooled either. Proverbs tells a young man not to even go down the street where a enticing woman lives. Paul says to flee immorality. You are more taking a step towards falling if you go through with this instead of avoiding disaster. Also Christians are to avoid even the appearance of evil. Do you really think God is ok with what you want to do? Any doubt at all is a no. God gives us peace to help us know when a right decision is from Him not confusion.
2006-09-21 00:36:30 · answer #2 · answered by Ernesto 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
"there's nothing that prohibits it, or in scripture, but fornication and premarital sex are prohibited." your words. Living together IS pre-marital sex unless you live with each other and remain celibate. It's wrong and I wonder what kind of so-called Reverend would do this. It's a big no-no for any Christian. And do you know those who live together have a much higher rate of break-up than traditional marriage? It's a fact. It is sin, it is sin, it is sin.
Also "we're not traditionally dating because of both of our faiths" I've never heard of a faith that cannot date. Dating is wrong, but living together is right? Makes no sense.
2006-09-21 00:32:23 · answer #3 · answered by winkcat 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
"He's not much of a REVEREND if he wants to shack-up with you. This is against God's Commandments no matter which Faith either of you is from, and he knows it! Go see the Pastor or Priest of your church and tell him this story! Dump this guy he's a Liar and a Fraud! He DOES NOT set a GOOD Example by which others should follow. A good Reverend MUST set BY EXAMPLE" the life the Lord wishes us to live. He does not fit this criteria. Shacking -up as a Trial Run for a Marriage is WRONG!!!!
His thinking is why buy the Cow if you can get the Milk for Free!...Not very Christian Like!
2006-09-21 00:26:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
If he is a Reverend and doesn't know the answer to this one, well he is definitely reading a different Bible than the one I read every day.
Sounds like you already know the answer. Besides if he follows that book he is suppose to teach from then he will know the answerer's to a happy lasting marriage and shouldn't have to have a test drive before he buys the car!
Funny that you will consult the Bible about divorce but apparently could care less what it says about fornication.
2006-09-21 00:26:32 · answer #5 · answered by SpecialK 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
My wife and I have been married for 26 years. We lived together for 2 years before we tied the knot. It was the best thing we could have done. It gave us a chance to get to know each other and test our compatibility. We watched a lot of other people jump into marriage and within a couple years were filing for divorce. It seems a lot of people get married for the wrong reasons and do not fully understand what a real marriage is all about. There is going to be give and take, good times and bad, a veritable roller-coaster ride. If you can make it through the first few years the rest are a breeze. As far as premarital sex goes, that is something you are going to have to work out due to your religious beliefs. Look at it as a pretest. Good Luck to the both of you!
2006-09-21 00:40:41 · answer #6 · answered by taboobiker73 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
It's hard to believe this is a serious question!
I suggest that you get out your bibles and look up all of the references to fornication. If you are serious about your faith, don't even think about living together as a "trial" before marriage. You are setting yourself up for disaster.
Is this "reverend" suggesting this? He needs to step away from the pulpit and get himself right with the Lord before he preaches any more.
Do yourself a favor and spend time in prayer and studying everything the bible has to say about this.
What do I think? It's not ok.
2006-09-21 00:38:06 · answer #7 · answered by redeemed 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
As you said premarital sex is prohibited, and I guarantee that you would not be helping with that by living together. The Bible tells us to flee from temptation and you would be jumping into the arms of it. It would not be wise. Also, you would not be showing a trust in God if you have to have a trial run fro marriage. Pray about it and lean on His guidance, then your faith will lead you in the right direction,and that is all that you need. good luck.
2006-09-21 00:26:16 · answer #8 · answered by malsvb6 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
the Bible says to abstain even from the APPEARANCE of sin- wether or not you are intimate- you are sending a message to others by living together. Build on your relationship as it is now- living together is not going to prove anything but put unneccessary emotional burdens on both of oyu if you decide it doesn't work out. All couples have problems and irritations living together- "we can't live together we have to get a divorce" is a lie from the pit of hell. You either CHOOSE to love each other through thick and thin, CHOOSE to work it out, encourage and support each other, CHOOSE to die to self and submit one to another honoring the other above yourself- or you CHOOSE to be selfish, self serving and run when things get too tough. Living together to see how it will work is a lie, it gives others the appearance of sin and it is wrong. Either he will have respect for you and your reputaion and make a commitment because he loves you or he will be self serving and leave himself a 'way out' if he decides he does not want to honor you and make a Godly relationship.
**Shacking up and moving out is just as bad as getting a divorce (it just doesn't add numbers to the statistics) what is says is that I love myself too much- I don't love you or God enough to stay, die to self, make a commitment, work together and work through this trial- it is no different than divorce and if you think you are going to avoid the emotional burdens and baggage of divorce by moving in and not getting married you might want to think again- you will only avoid the paperwork- it is a cop out excuse and a justification for selfishness. I am sorry to be so blunt but the world has been lied to and bought into the lie and to see it coming into the church and being accepted by the one who should know and be teaching better is nothing less than HEARTBREAKING!!
2006-09-21 00:28:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
As a young minister starting out I can not believe the behavior of this rev. There is a thing called lust and the opposite attract you all are putting yourself in line for fornication to creep in. You might say one thing with your mouth but baby the enemy would seek in before you even know it. Romans 14:16 (King James Version)
16Let not then your good be evil spoken of:
What kind of example is he setting he the rev is setting his self up to be a stumbling block because some babe in christ will think it's okay and is not strong enough and get caught up in sin. So I totally disagree with this!!
Also here is something else. Carnal desires gain strength by indulgence, therefore should be checked in their first rise. Let us fear the sins of Israel, if we would shun their plagues. And it is but just to fear, that such as tempt Christ, will be left by him in the power of the old serpent. Murmuring against God's disposals and commands, greatly provokes him. Nothing in Scripture is written in vain; and it is our wisdom and duty to learn from it. Others have fallen, and so may we. The Christian's security
against sin is distrust of himself. God has not promised to keep us from falling, if we do not look to ourselves. To this word of caution, a word of comfort is added. Others have the like burdens, and the like temptations: what they bear up under, and break through, we may also. God is wise as well as faithful, and will make our burdens according to our strength. He knows what we can bear. He will make a way to escape; he will deliver either from the trial itself, or at least the mischief of
it. We have full encouragement to flee from sin, and to be faithful to God. We cannot fall by temptation, if we cleave fast to him. Whether the world smiles or frowns, it is an enemy; but believers shall be strengthened to overcome it, with all its terrors and enticements. The fear of the Lord, put into their hearts, will be the great means of safety. (1Co 10:15-22)
2006-09-21 00:53:28 · answer #10 · answered by Unique E 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
sister girl living together now isn't going to answer any long term questions about if it's going to work later. people change over the years, sometimes for the better sometimes for the worse. But if it was God that brought you together you wouldn't need a trial run, you and he would both know that it was meant to be.
2006-09-21 00:31:22 · answer #11 · answered by thugangel 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋