My sister's partner is abusive and jealous..I want to help her,but she keeps telling me to stay away!!?

Question

Im afraid my sister will get killed one day!!Her bf is abusive he get's jealous of her being around people.And secretly abuses her.I cant stand him he's to demanding and threatens her in front of me and my kid's.Anyone else whos suffering the same sympton's dont be ashamed to share.

Answer 1

Don't put your sister's life at risk, by doing nothing, she needs help,

It's amazing to see ho many of the people here are so uneducated on the subject and give such low platitudes, do not listen to any one's opinion, make your decision and do something about it. This is the wrong place for you to consider their limited, unintelligent comments.

You need to do something about it, she tells you to stay away, because she is too scared, if you are a woman, someone in your family needs to intervene and if you have a husband, he should, but you need to go to the police, because yes this can absolutely turn into something else, you see it in the news and in many cases constantly, Seek the advice of an attorney if you can, but make it public too, that way the more people know, then he will be known for being a violent, even harmful person.

Which leads me to the next question. Why hasn't she left him?
Is she stupid or does she want to leave this world sooner than she should. She should pack up and leave go to another state.
You do need to stand up for her when he does abuse her and threatens her when you are present, this is a lot of abuse, domestic violence, he needs to be reported. It is a serious thing.

Do something before it's too late. He is a sicko!

Read this;
http://www.domesticviolence.org/

Answer 2

If your sister doesn't want help, I don't think you can do much. Does she have kids? If kids are subjected to a relationship like this there might be something you can do with the right authorities. Its hard to see this happening to anyone, especially someone you love and care about. Its happened to me, others in my family and people around me. I just realized I didn't want to stay in that kind of dangerous relationship and have long been in a good and supportive marriage. Some women won't give up. Some think they are causing the problem and some think no one else will want them. Maybe someone can tell you if there is anything you can do to help your sister out of this. Good luck, and I hope it all goes well.

Answer 3

I have been in this position before, in an abusive relationship. This may sound like the craziest thing but it's hard to leave someone, how long has your sister been with this partner? He may beat, threat, and be jealous of her, it may go further than that. I know this is hard but when she is ready to leave this guy and finally talk about this, she will come around. These type of things take time but eventually i promise she will come around. All I can say for you to do is just sit and wait. If it goes to far your sister WILL realize that hey this isnt the way a relationship is supposed to go and then the lightbulb above her head will turn on.Give it time, thats all you can do.

Answer 4

From first hand experience, you're sister will not leave him until she's had enough. Even more so, she'll have to realize that what hes doing isn't love.. (and yes some women believe "they love me they'll change" ) and that what hes doing is just a scare tactic to keep her there. If you see him hit her, call the law, technically its assault. Your sister may be mad at you for it, but you could save her life in the long run.

Answer 5

I don't mean to sound harsh, but obviously your sister is in a co-dependent relationship with this man. She knows it's wrong, she probably hates it, but she's afraid to be alone. Unfortunately, her situation is not all that rare. The best advice I can give you is to keep the lines of communication open between the two of you. If she feels she has no one to support her, then she'll never get the courage to leave him. But believe me, when she's had enough, she'll make the break. But until then, just continue to be supportive of the positive things in her life.

Answer 6

I am 32,but back when I was 16 I was in a relationship like that.I too told friends to but out,stay out of it etc....
sometimes,most times theres nothing anyone can do,it just takes time,its sad to say but she will either realize she is TOO important for that and leave,or end up badly hurt and get out of it one way or another.SHE has to choose though.
I stayed until I wound up with a shattered knee cap.and the cause,he picked me up and threw me into a wall then kicked my leg and knee...swearing to kill me if i left him........
I realized in that moment,I would die,either he would kill me for staying,by abusing me as always,or he would kill me for leaving....
but I realized I had to have pride in me and i left.
I involved a friend that is an officer and things were resolved through his help and protection!
the more people wanted and tried to help,the more I stayed with him and wanted to,Id say just tell her if she ever decides she needs you,call you! till then keep your children away from that,the things kids see/hear can leave lasting damage

Answer 7

my cousin is going through the same thing. she just isnt at that point of accepting it yet. the most you can do it leave your door open to her. I told her that im not trying to control her life but she is in an unsafe, unhealthy lifestyle. i told her that anytime, ANYTIME, she could come to my doorstep and i would be more than happy to let her stay with me. she will come when she is sick and tired of it. she will come visit withblack eyes, huge bruises, everything. i have traveled and hour and a half just to go pick her up, but she goes back. my mom went through the same thing about 10 years ago. she will leave when shes ready. just let her know you are there for you so she knows she can leave it when shes ready to.

Answer 8

she could be in denial about what is going on or just affraid of him she might get mad at you for interfering but keep getting involved she's your sister if you have to keep documents on everytime he touches her. the police will pobably want her to press charges before they act but you can always call hem and say you here a disturbance there o get them to come out there and check things out. let someone know your brother, fater, or male friends they may have to take matters into their own hands one day and mess him up. good luck hope she sees the light

Answer 9

I'm not in that situation but had a brother who is abusive. The longer you stay in it the more degraded you feel and your self esteem drains away. She needs to get out of it.

Answer 10

as much as possible, stay away from trouble, dont meddle with her affair. somehow, she's right, it's their problem; let her fight her own battle. it's not like she is a little girl who cant think. but that doesnt mean her partner can do the threatening in front of you. warn your sister you wont tolerate his bullying in your presence. if she is still stubborn, then do what you think is right.