First off im not in an abusive relationship but i have known people that are or have been. Do you believe if a man or women is being abused by thier partner that person can change. i really dont think they can. Im sure in some rare cases they have but what do you think?
2006-09-20 15:58:32 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i was in an abusive relationship for 4 years. He would get abusive and apoiligize and make me feel bad, swear to change but it never happened. Even though i believed him everytime. Even after jail and 8 months of domestic violence group couceling he didnt change. And for some reason I stayed. The only reason that im not with him today is because when i was pregnant he attacked me and he really could have hurt my baby the mother in me took over and ive never been with him since but even though he lost his family he's still the same way today. So in his case he couldnt change. But on the other hand I have a friend who had an abusive boyfriend and he changed and now he's the best husband and father I know. It is more common for men not to change then it is for them to but it is possible to change.
2006-09-20 16:08:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No - will not happen. Dont delude yourself with the idea they can change. If they raised thier hand once, evon once, and crossed that path they WILL do it again. There are no backing up from this path, eventually they do it again. and it is not always men that are the abusers. women do this too.
so no - they may go on to someone else that they never hit or abuse in any way. but once that personal invisible field is crossed, they will abuse again.
Abusive people batter as a means of power and control, to manipulate, intimidate and rule their intimate partner.
2006-09-20 23:11:26 · answer #2 · answered by Beamer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, people who are abusive either deal out the abuse consciously or unconsciously. That is to say, they are aware of their actions, or they are totally oblivious to the harm they are doing to others.
Those who are aware of their actions mean to do it and are beyond hope.
Those who have no idea how much harm they are doing can possibly be re-trained through the processes of education and avoid those actions in the future. A success rate in the vicinity of 85 percent is not uncommon in this category. The remaining 15 percent of the unknowing abusive types just don't have a clue, don't care, or haven't the time to be bothered with it.
I think that abusive people should be put on notice that they are "abusive." The proper way to do this is to print up notices to that effect on fluorescent paper and drop one on the desk of the offensive party. Suitable wording on the notice might be, "You were highly abusive to me today, and I will not tolerate it any longer!"
That should create some discussion of the subject. Discussion is what you must have to rectify the situation. Most abusers hide from the spotlight, and do anything to escape from it. They might even reform themselves.
Er-r, wasn't that your goal?
2006-09-20 23:12:51 · answer #3 · answered by zahbudar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes they can. Contrary to the belief that you should get out as quickly as possible. It may take quite a while but it can happen. Of all the women I know, they all claim that they were abused. They all gave it right back and you don't hear the guy saying he was abused.
2006-09-20 23:04:51 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think that person can change, mainly because they don't think they are doing anything wrong. I have lived in abusive relationships all my life. We are talking verbal, mental, physical and sexual. I am now going to classes about how to see the red flags and get out. Hope this answers your question
2006-09-20 23:06:02 · answer #5 · answered by Boogs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abusive people don't tend to change because they enjoy the satisfaction of controlling and being sadistic. Once a person likes doing something they will always like it. That can never change.
2006-09-20 23:00:53 · answer #6 · answered by martin h 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abuse and child molesting are among the MOST difficult behaviors to change. Some therapists have said they've never seen a person stop the abuse. SAD.
2006-09-20 23:02:02 · answer #7 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An abusive man will change when I cut his nuts off and inject 2 gallons of estrogen in the fleshy patch where his balls used to be.
2006-09-20 23:00:37 · answer #8 · answered by Player 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really don't think so like u said in rare cases they must have some issues from there past to make them turn out the way they did and i think it is crazy for anyone to stay in a relationship with someone like that!
2006-09-20 23:00:56 · answer #9 · answered by brittney 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont' think they can. They always say they will change but they never do. Once an abusive guy always an abusive guy.
2006-09-20 23:00:21 · answer #10 · answered by Rachel C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋