Different upbringings and class.. Will it work?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend 7 months, and were just started to notice that our different upbringings are causing problems, He thinks Im a spoilt little princess because My parents have our family home/business that is worth millions, and my parents sacrificed a lot so Me and my brother could have good education and travel the world. My boyfriend on the other hand, never had any money really, and his parents would never give him anything or go on holidays.
We also have very different friends, his are guys that have been in jail or ex junkies, and mine are city people who have been to university. He calls me a snob and tells me He doesnt like my snobby attitude, I just think Im being ambitous and cant understand how someone wont go out and get a job (his friends not him).
Im starting to think it wont work out, as we have different morals and standards.
What do you all think, can someones social status or class in society matter in a relationship (im in australia by the way).

Answer 1

Just a few questions for you....You say you've been together for 7 months, and your just realizing this now? AND...Do you cut down his choice in friends? OK...I'm done playing devils advocate. If his friends are junkies and ex-cons and are directly effecting his behavior, LOOSE HIM. But, if these friends are not directly effecting his behavior, he may be trying to be an example to them. Oh....what do your parents think of this guy? I bet they don't trust him as far as they could throw him. You were raised in a good home with parents that probably worked all their lives to get what they've got, and this guy comes along, and is showing you a way of life that you have no idea what it's like. I'm proud that you are applying these morals and values that you have been taught!! Good for you!! My answer for you is this: Yes. Social status and class does matter in a relationship IF you let it. Don't let someone come along and try to sway you into their way of thinking, and make you feel like your way is bad because your family has money. He's guilting you into feeling bad by calling you names like 'snotty little princess' and saying you have a 'snobby attitude'. Your folks raised a smart girl....

Answer 2

I think different social classes can work out if you respect each other. It sounds as if he is degrading towards your family and friends. But think of it from his point of view. You never had to ask for anything more than once. It's a hard pill to swallow when you see someone who has it all, when you don't. It's especially hard if you are in a relationship with them. I'm sure you boyfriend feels inferior to your dad because he can't give you the same things. These types of relationships are really hard, but possible. Good luck..

Answer 3

He is actually being the snob by downing your upbringing. I am in much the same position (but much older now) and this just doesn't cut it. It is not your fault that he comes some other background. He sounds like a jealous little whiner. It will always make a difference to him because he is not prepared to put in the work your parents would to make his own world a better place. Find someone better.

Answer 4

Different upbringings can definitely affect a relationship but it doesn't have to be bad for you.
Communication is key in any relationship and it sounds to me from what you said that he feels resentful that everything was given to you and that he has had to struggle so much for the little he has. It could be that your personality is being misunderstood by him and vice-versa.
What I would suggest is to sit down and discuss the areas of your relationship that need help in, write the down and discuss how each of you feel about those ideas.
In doing so, you'll be able to clarify any misconceptions or false beliefs you may have about one another.

Answer 5

Yes the different upbringings of families can change the way they think or act around each other. From personal experience you should break it off becuase no man is worth waiting for. When you miss one city bus trust me another will come soon enough.

Answer 6

sorry honi you sound like a snob, why are you focusing on whether or not his friends are working or not and there past deeds.
You don't have to be rich or poor to have made mistakes in life.
It is not a social problem it is a personal choice on how one want to live.
Ask your self, what do you want from his friends so much that it is having an effect on your attitude towards your relationship with this man.
Does he treat you like the women you so deserve, do you treat him like the man he so deserves.
If it is important to you and it sounds to me like you want to try as you went to the trouble to post the question, maybe see a relationship counsellor.
Try to forget whether his friends work or not or are ex junkies, sit down with them and try to get to know them on a personal level without pre- judgements.
What was your interest in this man in the 1st place, maybe get back to that and keep it simple.
Don't worry to much on social differences, most people can fit in anywhere if they are excepted on a personal value rather than social status.

Answer 7

I think it plays a huge role......unless you believe in the whole romeo and juliet thing. Sometimes people are better off sticking within their own kind. If you have really strong feelings for this guy then by all means make it work

Answer 8

Unfortunately I have been in a few simialr situations from the other side. One of the best things to do is just try and empthize with him. Put yourself in his shoes and imagine what it might be like to be him.

Try and talk with him and tell him as best you can your feelings and get an idea of how he feels as well.

Hope this helps and good luck in your situation!

Answer 9

Being from different 'classes' of people can work, but if he thinks you're a snob, he's just using you, not expressing a desire to be happy with you.

Answer 10

"Behoove"? Doesn't the devil have cloven hooves? Or is it a camel toe? Lol Really though people think it's human nature to believe themselves to be better than others. When, in reality, it is animal nature. Dogs hate cats, cats hate mice. Grey monkeys hate red monkeys. Monkeys with car keys hate monkeys with nicer car keys.