My friend is going through A LOT of stress in her marriage. She has a dog that has extreme anxiety. (the dog has a history of abuse. She got him at the shelter 2 yrs ago) The dog has been pacing heavily, panting and losing tons of fur. Medicine has not worked. The dog pees all over the house due to his nerves and seperation anxiety. The poor thing is nervous even when she is in another room!! So today she told me she had him put down. I could NOT believe what she said!!! I am really upset about this. The dog was only about 3 or 4 yrd old. I think she overreacted due to the stress in her personal life. I am finding it hard to talk to her anymore because of this thing with the dog. Am I wrong or should the dog have been put out of his misery as she says?
Oh yeah. she is a professional dog trainer.
2006-09-20 15:20:29 · 33 answers · asked by agirlcandream 1 in Pets ➔ Dogs
You said she got the dog two years ago, and this was enough time for the dog to forget his past life! This would mean that your friend had the opportunity to help him before she became so stressed. Even if her problems with her husband has been for a long time, she still had two years to see that she wasn't helping the dog at all......especially with being a dog trainer. She could have paid the fee that most dog pounds charge to place them there. It costs less to have a vet put them to sleep, sad to say but true!
I believe that you know all this and this is why you are asking your question, and so upset with her decision. As her friend, I don't blame you for your concern! We may be able to divorce our husbands, back stab our "friends", but when it comes to an animal, people should not just simply "get rid of them". If this was a child, can we do the same when they are bad? I believe that children and animals are alike, plus our elderly folks. They truely trust us and can't help themselves independantly most of the time. I have had six children, first of which was born very unhealthy with SID's no less. She lived in the hospital for the first five years of her life, but she went on to live and gave us our first two beautiful grandchildren!
Over the years, we had a dog, full breed, that also went potty in the house! All over! This was more than I could deal with, but I didn't get rid of it, just like I didn't get rid of one of our other children that wet the bed every night for several years! We got a carpet cleaner, that also was able to clean the bed, and gave the love and understanding needed! The dog went on to have a full life of over 15 years, and all six children went on to lead happy well adjusted lives without ever being in trouble in school or life.
But I feel for you, and do not know what to tell you about your feelings about your friendship. During these years, I too had friends that were married with 4 children. They wanted a dog, and paid a lot of money for a beagle. After less than a year, the "newness" wore off, with terrible care, they made it an outside dog only! Then they thought it was cute to allow it to get pregnant. I got a phone call when she started having them because the mother wasn't acting right! Sure enough, one puppy was breach and stuck! Dispite the fact that I was willing to get a vet on the phone in the middle of the night, and then pay the vet for his help over the phone, in the end, I too became very sore over the following. After the puppies were born, I saw to it that people came to see about adopting them when they were old enough. Dispite this, she (owner) kept saying that they wanted to "keep one". After naming all of them and allowing her kids to say which one was going to be theirs, not one was released for adoption! Seven puppies with an unwanted mother! Just as I knew in my heart of hearts about them as good people, stupid me not wanting to judge or loss a friend, I continued with them. Well, all 8 dogs became loud dogs in the backyard to be yelled at, not fed or visited. Until all, one by one were taken out late at night, to be let go on a highway for someone else to care about! As this wasn't bad enough.......they went on to "take" someone elses dog that was out loose! Then they got rid of that one in the same manner! Two years later, they got a lab male. Then 1 1/2 years later a female as they thought how cute to let her mate with him! And so this story gets to repeat itself? Sad to say I don't know the answer! I decided to loose the friend rather than live with the wrong in them that I was allowing my children to be exposed to, and myself! I suspect that your heart already knows what I just said is true. Because you asked this question knowing that it has changed they way you feel about her. But instead of acting on it, you want to feel better about it, or perhaps you want one of us to say......kick her to the curb! Sweetie, you don't need our permission! But you do need to start allowing yourself to feel what you do in peace, knowing the truth that it was her decision, not yours......and if you meant as much to her, she should have known how you would feel, and would have cared as much about how you feel, as you have cared about her! Did she come into yahoo answers, asking .....I have this unwanted dog that I want to get rid of but I need sugestions for a very good friend who will be hurt by my decision?
Good luck but I think you won't need it! She did it, not you! You will just be stopping the hurt sooner than I did! I'm the one who was more of a jerk.....because I stayed in as a friend, and therefore share in some of the wrong by the fact I enabled her! I never made her responsible for her own actions! The dog lost its life! She will only loose a friend that she didn't consider anyway!
2006-09-20 16:13:15 · answer #1 · answered by CallaLilly 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Most veterinarians will NOT put a dog to sleep just because the owner asks. Alot of dogs, especially ones that suffered extreme abuse, develop major behavioral problems later. Regardless of any stress in her personal life, the truth is probably that the owner and the dog's vet took numerous things into consideration, including age, physical health, and mental health. There is a whole school of thought now that some agressive dogs or dogs with major behavioral problems actually have a genetic or brain defect that causes the problem!
If the dog was stressed enough to be pacing like that and losing hair, it is possible that some of the stress was from internal forces, like shock to the system or organ failure. None of us know exactly what went on in the house, and to what extent the dog was stressed. The fact that she is a 'professional dog trainer' as the OP states makes me feel that she probably has a very good, very professional veterinarian, and that the dog would not have been put down on a whim. Give the owner a break.
2006-09-20 15:36:09 · answer #2 · answered by Steph Gas 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
She Is not a professional nor is she any good if she can't get her head out of her butt and deal with the dogs problem.
It probably would be best if it was put down rather than be forced to stay in a MISERABLE situation because she's lazy and ignorant and inconsiderate of the dog and it's feelings.
Tell her that.Also tell her that if the dog is put down rather than it's behavior be modified then EVERYONE will know what a pathetic excuse of a trainer she is and NO ONE will want her close to their animals let alone want to pay for her services.EVER.That dog is the best advertisment she could ever have so she can destroy it as well as her reputation or she can fix it and in the process give herself a break from her own stress.But if she'd prefer to wallow in her own misery and make things far worse by doing so it's completely irresponsible to make the poor dog suffer for what she's going thru.
If that does'nt work then tell everyone you see how she's treated this animal so they don't make the mistake of allowing her to mess up their animals as she has her own.
2006-09-21 01:45:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to say without actually being there. It is possible that your friend was unable to deal with the situation properly due to her other problems. However, sometimes a dog is so badly damaged mentally by past experiences that it simply cannot live a normal life. It sounds like this dog was not very happy. If a professional trainer was unable to help him overcome his demons, it's unlikely that giving him to someone else would be to his benefit. Therefore the best thing for him would be to free him from his misery.
2006-09-21 06:48:14 · answer #4 · answered by DaBasset - BYBs kill dogs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, normally I would say that could be considered odd
behavior. And though I don't know all of the circumstances
connected with this, just by what you've said, I suspect this dog had more wrong with her than nerves. But even at that, nerves have everything to do with a dogs health.
Yeah, it can actually "make" a dog healthy or not. So I
believe she did the humane thing by having the dog put to rest. And by the way, it takes a lot more compassion to do
this, than to allow a dog to suffer. Try to understand, and give your friend a break.
2006-09-21 03:07:44 · answer #5 · answered by Republican!!! 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Poor dog. I don't think she had the time to spend with the dog due to her stress in her life. I look at the dog as being a "special needs" dog with a bad start in life. Anyone who gives up on an animal that quickly should not be a pet owner. I understand she was stressed out...but so was the dog. I wish she would have tried to find it a different home...someone who had the time, patience and understanding for a dog who'd been abused. I agree with you, I think there were other options. Just my opinion.
2006-09-20 15:51:01 · answer #6 · answered by momof3pups 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'm so sorry that your friend did that! I can tell you from experience that I would be just as upset as you are. I'm a vet tech and there have been several cases where the clients bring in a pet for euthanasia simply because they are to much trouble to deal with. Not because they are sick and that would be best for the dog. We always refuse to do these types of euthanasia's but it still infuriates me when this happens! Knowing they are just going to go to the vet down the street and have it done.It's just so sad!
The fact that your friend is a dog trainer makes it so much worse! She should have known better! She should have also had the ability and the knowledge to know how to help the dog over come it's anxiety.
2006-09-20 15:26:55 · answer #7 · answered by Injustice sucks 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It is a terrible thing she did!! Wonder if the husband will have her put down because of all the stress she is adding to his life?! Would serve her right if it happened. There was no reason to put her dog down. She should have found it a loving home. If she is a professional dog trainer, she needs to get in another business if she cannot even deal with her own dog!
2006-09-20 15:24:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Well if she was giving the dog medicine for thr hair loss,
maybe she talked it over with the vet
(about the dog having issues)
and decided after the vet suggested it... to have the dog put down...... Horrible , yes........ but probably the best thing to do
Vet's ussually know a little something about these things, thus telling your friend to have the dog put down......
If this senerio didn't happen then maybe another friend suggested this to her......
I'm sure your friend is probably a caring person (as most are)
but had to make a decision based on best outcome for her and not for the dog......
I cannot judge her actions, as you should not either.....
Unfortunately the dog is dead now and your only concern should be whether your friend is a good enough friend to stay friends with......
If she is , you should at least be there for her (emotionally) if you can't be there for her in support of her decision.......
Sometimes animals have to be put down..... I don't like it either,
but it is the way it is.........
The only other option for that dog woulda been to release it into the wild, which is never good......
No one in there right mind would have tried to take care of a dog with issues like the 1's you described....
2006-09-20 15:36:34 · answer #9 · answered by Larry 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think she should have realized that the dogs was simply reacting to the stresses in the home. I feel what she did was very selfish. The dog was not at fault. Being an abused animal it was stressing due to the situation & acting out.
I think she took her frustrations out on the dog by having it put down. I agree with you & I feel sorry for the poor dog.
2006-09-20 15:28:29 · answer #10 · answered by More Lies & More Smoke Screens 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As a "professional" dog trainer she should have realized the dog was reacting to and feeding off of her anxiety and stress. She should have either found a loving home for him or placed him in a no-kill facility. What an absolutely horrid and selfish act. You are not wrong for feeling as you do. I can only hope she does not bring another pet into her home.
2006-09-20 15:50:55 · answer #11 · answered by serenadepoms 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋