Ok here goes:
I’m 15, this girl is 13: ITS only 2 years
A few months ago, me and this girl were really close, we would talk and flirt all the time, and this went on for a while, well eventually people started talking about us, being so close, and wondered if we were dating. She started backing off big time, and seemed like something was bothering her. Well I asked her to the movies, and she said idk maybe. I took it as a nice way of saying no. Well she told her friends she just doesn’t know, because I’ve liked many different girls b4, and she just want to see if I could stick with her for a while. Well months passed, and we got further and further away. I wondered why? Well she and her mom are REALLY close, so I asked her mom. Her mom said she was just really scared, because we have been friends since age 7. Well then she told her friends she just doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. It got to the point were I couldn’t stand it anymore. So I emailed her this about a month ago
can we please talk??
I've got to tell you something, because, well, i just got to know.
I really like you, alot. And it seemed like you used to like me. But now, it just seems like you are really really trying to avoid me. I mean, i know youve been busy and all with swimmin, but like since carrowinds, we havent talked, barely any , at all. It seems like you just dont care about me. I mean, i feel so confused, because, for some reason, you just stopped talking to me. Why? I mean, are you trying to get me to take the hint? Or what? I mean i really dont know what to think. Tell me anything, tell me that you hate me, just please please be honest. Remember that thing at carrowinds, guys cant stand when girls beat around the bush? Well, if you dont like me, please just tell me straight up. My feelings wont be hurt. And if you do, but just arent sure, just tell me. I wanna be there for you, I want you to be able to trust me, and be able to talk to me, about anything
This is what she replied
hey,
well first of all, I don't hate you. second, I haven't been avoiding you either becuase its not been just swimming that I've been busy with its been life.I also haven't been beating around the bush because you never asked me if I did or not. But I haven't ever thought of being more than friends with you because we've always been good friends and I think thats how things should stay.I just don't want to ruin a friendship.hope you've had a good day, and i will talk to you later.
This is what I replied
hey!!. thanks for being honest with me. I really value our friendship too, and if you don’t feel comfortable, because of ruining the friendship if something were to happen, that is cool with me.
Now to me, that sounds like two things (1) she doesn’t want to ruin a friendship, cuz we’ve been friends since age 7 or (2) shes just letting me down easy. But now she is flirting with this other guy, like she used to do with me. But she seems more comfortable around me than she did before. But when she sees that I am not going out of my way to see her, she seems to talk to me more, and flirt a little more, almost like she don’t have me anymore. And sometimes, Ill catch her looking at me, and when I look she’ll look away. And then sometimes, her body language, she just seems sad, like she wants to tell me something, or likes me or IDK what, its just she seems different since we talked about it. But I mean b4 she really seemed to like me, and IDK why she just would have stopped. , I mean I’ve like many girls, just none like this, When I wake up sheds the first think I think about, and the last think when I go to sleep. I just cant let her go.
My question is do you think she was letting me down easy, or is just scared, and what should I do about it? And please don’t tell me I’m too young
2006-09-20 15:05:32 · 6 answers · asked by how many 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It seems to me that she is just scared of ruining your friendship. If you don't think that dating will do anything to your frienship then tell her that. but if you do then just keep your frienship. It is the best thign in the world to always have some one there for you. You two just need to decide what both of you want to do. If you guys break up and you start cating some one else will she feel akward being around you? If she starts dating some one else willl you fell akward being around her? You have to think about these things before you decide on what you want to do.
2006-09-20 15:19:50 · answer #1 · answered by lem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two reached a milestone in your friendship to be able to survive the ultimate test, and that is great. Leave it at that and realize she is comfortable around you because you are like a brother to her and you should take pride in that. Don't worry about who she flirts with and whatever, just be there for her as a friend when someone breaks her heart and DO NOT even think about trying to score with her then, or you will screw up the wonderful friendship.
2006-09-20 22:19:35 · answer #2 · answered by rufnready 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were her, I would be relieved. She wanted to keep that friendship with you.
Also, the fact might have factored in that she liked that other guy. I have some guys that I'm BEST friends with, and would hate to lose that to dating. Girls have different social needs than guys do. She loves having you as a friend, because she sees the "friend" qualities in you, while she may see "boyfriend" qualities in another guy.
And believe me, that is a good thing.
2006-09-20 22:09:54 · answer #3 · answered by janelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an issue that will crop up occassionally at any age.
She's not sure what she wants, and instead of trying to communicate, it's easier to avoid. She's not sure how she feels and doesn't want to commit one way or the other.
The best you can do is to keep yourself busy with others, and not vascilate, which will make things worst and drive you crazy. You know how you feel about her, you've told her-that's the best you can do.
Keep on smiling.
2006-09-20 22:20:15 · answer #4 · answered by Jill O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay, although you asked me not to, i have to tell you, you are too young to be worried about something so serious. shoot man, you are 15, you still have college and a career to think about. she probably likes you as a friend. the sad look is that of her thinking she hurt you. you may not meant to, but you probably are acting like you are mad at her or something. you know that there are many many more girls out there. and you also know that you can't make someone love you. she may be your soul mate, but if she is, she isn't ready for that. i know that two years doesn't seem like a lot, but at that age it is. that's the difference between high school and Jr high. have fun and stop studying her so much. if it happens it happens, if it doesn't... well, you tried. God bless you.
2006-09-20 22:17:00 · answer #5 · answered by jennifer c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there is a part of her that wants to be just friends and a part of her that wants to be more than friends. She is confused on which side to take.
Hang in there and let nature take its course.
2006-09-20 22:21:03 · answer #6 · answered by Sherry 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋