I am a girl sophmore in highschool and have been feeling really upset and lonley lately.. mainly because a lot of my friends and just people in general around me at school (event the "losers") are going out with someone.. where as i am not. I am not a freak or ugly or anything.. i have some friends but i think the problem is that it takes me a while to open up to you if i dont know you.. especially with guys..it takes me a while to start acting like we are friends..with all of my shyness i may be mistaken for quiet and unsocialable which sometimes i may be but that def. is not my personality all of the time. I feel like i am just there.. sort of over looked in a way. anyone feeling the same.. also i have never had a formal boyfriend.. (had that elementary and middle school he like she likes stuff) but nothing too serious (i also went to a new school starting last yr.. so idk if that comes into play anywhere).. just looking for advice more than anything.. and if anyone can relate.
2006-09-20 15:04:05 · 19 answers · asked by ♥INTENSENESS♥ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
In school, join some clubs, including acting, the school newspaper, etc. Then people will get to know you outside the classroom.
2006-09-20 15:06:51 · answer #1 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yeah. I spent all of middle school and the first couple years of high school in exactly the same boat you're in. I felt lonely and forgotten by the male sex. I always thought there was someone prettier or smarter or a better athlete. And you know what? It didn't matter. Not in the least. The boys didn't notice me until my sophomore year, because that's when they all wised up! Boys are immature and stupid, and even the simple, common sense ideas, like dating a good girls with morals and values, take years longer to sink in. So it's ok, what you're feeling. It's completely normal. What you need to do right now is focus on YOURSELF! Do what makes yourself happy! Dive into your passion, whether it be art, sports, music, learning, your church, whatever! Be happy, be outgoing, don't take yourself too seriously, and the guys will come running.
And whatever you do, keep your standards high. Don't settle for the first guy to come along unless he is the prince in shining armor you dreamed about when you were little. And don't worry, it always get better and better. It did for me. You sound just like me in high school, and now I'm a college freshman and am practically engaged to a wonderful man! I'm not saying its guaranteed, but even if Mr. Right doesn't come along soon, you can always look back on your high school years and say, "I had fun being me".
2006-09-20 15:15:54 · answer #2 · answered by Snickle Beast 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now you can't see this but....
This is just a very small part of what will be your life. It would be wonderful if you could see how you're life's going to change in a few years.
I would suggest you join a club in school or do some volunteer work. You would be surprised how much confidence that will give you. When you stop focusing on yourself, you'll attract people to you.
Graduation seems forever right now....but by then you'll be a different person than you are right now.
My daughter was like you are when she was in high school....now she's always busy, the phone is always ringing, she's been in a relationship for 18 months now and she's in her 3rd year of college....hang in there...nothing ever stays the same.
2006-09-20 15:14:26 · answer #3 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I remember those days well. I know you do not want to hear this from an older person, but these days will pass quickly and you will find happiness.
I hated high school. I was not popular and had very few friends. People made fun of me and wanted nothing to do with me. I didn't date until my senior year, and then it was someone from another school.
College was another world. I met people who did not know how unpopular I had been - and they didn't care. I made a lot of friends in college and was actually popular with several groups of people. I dated a lot and married when I graduated.
It seems so strange that I was lonely and unhappy in high school but happy in college. I remember how much it hurt to go to school each day and feel the pain, but it doesn't matter after high school. Just keep yourself focused on the future. High school really does pass quickly.
2006-09-20 15:12:14 · answer #4 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you seem normal to me. I do not find anything unsual about what you put on here. Holding back with your feelings is not a bad thing. Taking your time to find the right person for you takes time. Being picky is something that you can do at this age and you should be enjoying your young life cause before to long it will change. Never look down on yourself for being you. You need to always be proud of who you are and it should not matter what others think. If a guy really likes you he will take the time to get to know you. You are doing OK in my book.
2006-09-20 15:09:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Practically every highschool sophmore girl probably feels the same as you, it's just every person has a different way of dealing with their emotions. It is important to just be yourself, that is how you will find a boyfriend that will be compatible with you. That is when you will find a long term relationship, when you least expect it. Just have fun being yourself, don't stress over relationships, you will have plenty in the near future.
2006-09-20 15:08:55 · answer #6 · answered by Nails 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to worry. This is the toughest year you'll have in high school. Much better if you concentrate on your studies this year any way. I graduated from high school having NEVER had a girlfriend. Didn't stop me from being popular,well liked by my classmates, or partisipating in school functions. My problem was similar to yours...terminal shyness with girls. Had I known at the time that half a dozen girls would have gladly gone out with me, if I'd just asked......well, those days are long gone now. I did get over being shy, found a lovely girl.........and someday.......................
2006-09-20 15:13:21 · answer #7 · answered by eyeque195 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It okay to feel like that sometimes but just give some people some time. Maybe someone at your school likes you but you don't know it because I've been though that before. Just make friends that you believe will be trust worthy. Just be careful who they are and give a good back ground check just in case.
2006-09-20 15:11:11 · answer #8 · answered by Luke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly sweety do you really need a man to dignify your worth? You should be proud your not one of your typical friends because when the right guy comes along your going to be so greatful everything was done the right way with him. Enjoy being single and not having to worry about boys. You have plenty of time for this. I can relate, i use to be like you and ive only ever had sex with one person, the father of my child :) I wouldnt worry about this. Be Proud of yourself.
2006-09-20 15:08:33 · answer #9 · answered by ♡MaNda♡ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't even trip, my girl. I have the same exact prob..now...when before in middle school and elementary..omgsh..I'm telling you..I never was shy..maybe a bit..but then like mostly everyone else, I'd get over it and open up to almost anybody..But omgsh..it's so weird...I don't know why I'm like that...I'm so open to everybody in my family not givin' a **** but then again...I have problems b/c I don't even have a decent relationship with anybody in my family. So, nvm. I don't think I'm helping here ..so I'm going to stop. I think everyone gets shy at one point in their lifetime...Not everyone is extremely outgoing down to meet new peopl..and all that...doesn't get stage fright. Just you know..get over it ..suck it up..and make conversation with people with anything that goes well at the time...and be yourself...meaning..just be the person you want to be..without anybody stopping you to. You get em girl!!!
2006-09-20 15:08:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then talk more. Not much else to say. Quit worrying so much about what others think and be that thing in your heart that defines you. So what if other people are in relationships? Why do you need someone to define your existance? Close friends and more will come to you when you prove to the general public that you are you and no one else decides that. Be a bit more outgoing and be fearless. The results are incredible.
2006-09-20 15:07:29 · answer #11 · answered by fret_guy89 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋