This is the longest question ever, but I would really appreciate and honest truthful answer, thanks?

Question

Ok here goes:


I’m 15, this girl is 13: ITS only 2 years

A few months ago, me and this girl were really close, we would talk and flirt all the time, and this went on for a while, well eventually people started talking about us, being so close, and wondered if we were dating. She started backing off big time, and seemed like something was bothering her. Well I asked her to the movies, and she said idk maybe. I took it as a nice way of saying no. Well she told her friends she just doesn’t know, because I’ve liked many different girls b4, and she just want to see if I could stick with her for a while. Well months passed, and we got further and further away. I wondered why? Well she and her mom are REALLY close, so I asked her mom. Her mom said she was just really scared, because we have been friends since age 7. Well then she told her friends she just doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. It got to the point were I couldn’t stand it anymore. So I emailed her this about a month ago


can we please talk??
I've got to tell you something, because, well, i just got to know.
I really like you, alot. And it seemed like you used to like me. But now, it just seems like you are really really trying to avoid me. I mean, i know youve been busy and all with swimmin, but like since carrowinds, we havent talked, barely any , at all. It seems like you just dont care about me. I mean, i feel so confused, because, for some reason, you just stopped talking to me. Why? I mean, are you trying to get me to take the hint? Or what? I mean i really dont know what to think. Tell me anything, tell me that you hate me, just please please be honest. Remember that thing at carrowinds, guys cant stand when girls beat around the bush? Well, if you dont like me, please just tell me straight up. My feelings wont be hurt. And if you do, but just arent sure, just tell me. I wanna be there for you, I want you to be able to trust me, and be able to talk to me, about anything

This is what she replied

hey,
well first of all, I don't hate you. second, I haven't been avoiding you either becuase its not been just swimming that I've been busy with its been life.I also haven't been beating around the bush because you never asked me if I did or not. But I haven't ever thought of being more than friends with you because we've always been good friends and I think thats how things should stay.I just don't want to ruin a friendship.hope you've had a good day, and i will talk to you later.





This is what I replied



hey!!. thanks for being honest with me. I really value our friendship too, and if you don’t feel comfortable, because of ruining the friendship if something were to happen, that is cool with me.




Now to me, that sounds like two things (1) she doesn’t want to ruin a friendship, cuz we’ve been friends since age 7 or (2) shes just letting me down easy. But now she is flirting with this other guy, like she used to do with me. But she seems more comfortable around me than she did before. But when she sees that I am not going out of my way to see her, she seems to talk to me more, and flirt a little more, almost like she don’t have me anymore. And sometimes, Ill catch her looking at me, and when I look she’ll look away. And then sometimes, her body language, she just seems sad, like she wants to tell me something, or likes me or IDK what, its just she seems different since we talked about it. But I mean b4 she really seemed to like me, and IDK why she just would have stopped. , I mean I’ve like many girls, just none like this, When I wake up sheds the first think I think about, and the last think when I go to sleep. I just cant let her go.
My question is do you think she was letting me down easy, or is just scared, and what should I do about it? And please don’t tell me I’m too young

Answer 1

Time will heal!

Answer 2

Well first of all I'll tell you exactly what you don't want to hear. You are too young. However, these things are crucial to social development. So you need to be into these kinds of things, just keep in mind that neither one of you are mentally capable of handling a complex relationship - in other words no matter what, its not like this girl is the end of the road for you.

Now on to how she's acting. If y'all became friends to begin with, then that is pretty much set in stone. She looked at you as a friend, but now she looks at you as a clingy guy who wants more. She's probably doing both: letting you down easy AND trying not to ruin a friendship. It is all very strange for her. You said you noticed that when you don't try to talk to her, then she opens up a little bit and tries to put herself around you. Well that's because at times like those, you aren't being clingy. Jealousy really does work. In a nutshell you have to create attraction, and there are 2 things wrong with that for you. You are too young to do it properly (however most guys can't seem to do this so get use to it) and she is too young to properly respond if you were able to create it. Just let the situation play out, and do what you want. You will look back in a couple years and realize it was all a learning experience.

The best advice I can give you here is do not take the guys' advice. Take it from the girls.

Good luck and I know that you really have feelings for this girl. I'm not saying you're too young to like her. I remember when I was 15, and at the time, I really like girls too. Only when I became older, I realized how much more passionate it becomes. If I can help you in any other way, e-mail me. galloway_777@yahoo. And like I said, GOOD LUCK.

Answer 3

I'm not saying its impossible you will ever be together, but you need to let this go for now. She is only just beginning to know how she wants to act around boys and what kind of boys she likes and how she wants them to be with her. Let he be her own person, actually grow into being her own person, and be there for her as a friend as you've been doing. When she flirts or looks at you, enjoy it for what it is at this point - meaningless flirting. She knows how you felt so she can always come to you about it, and there is plenty of plenty of time. If you still feel this way in 2 years and she hasn't asked you out yet, then she'll be more dating age and you will be a lot more confident, so get some new advice about how and ask her out then.

Until then just put it in the very very back of your mind, as in, "I would really like this to happen but I think it is not real likely," and go out with other girls definitely, she may notice and it may spark something in her, or not, but do it for yourself to help you move on. I suggest girls your age, or even a year older, someone really different from her so they won't remind you of her. Also more potential to make her notice. :-)

Good luck.

Answer 4

This is worth a try if you decide-

Explain to her that the reason you feel that you would be good together is because of the fact that you have been friends for so long, this is the basis for a good relationship, take your time though things work out if they are meant to be, don't push her and don't go flirting with other girls, as this could work against you, she could see that you are not serious about her maybe it is the simple fact that SHE is too young and not ready for anything yet, when she comes around you will know, I don't think she is letting you down, I think SHE is unsure about her own feelings for you, girls are very flighty about things at that age they want everything to be PERFECT, I hope this helps you GOOD LUCK...

Answer 5

She isn't interested in being more than friends just like she said
if you value the friendship and can deal with being her FRIEND then leave things as they are just remember at some point you will be there to see her fall in love probably get her hart broke and that wont be easy.If you don't think you can handle that then be friends but not to close. Don't try to push the relationship issue or you will lose a friend.Shes going through a lot of changes in her life and body give her some space and be there if she needs you.

Answer 6

I think she might care for you in a romantic way but still wants to keep her options open. So she let you down easy but still wants to hold on to you by keeping you on a short leash. Just hang tight for awhile and let her be. She will come around. In the meantime have some fun and dont be too serious.

Answer 7

Just be the best friend you can to her, give her another year or two to see if she likes you the same way. Right now she is busy trying to figure out who she is. I don't think you are completely too young, however, she seems to be too young. She doesn'
t know what she wants right now. So, just be her friend.

Answer 8

Little Dude, please know that life gets better. I am here to tell you that their is plenty of fish in the sea, you have to know when, where and how to trow your net in. Move on from this girl, just be friends. Meet other girls your age, get involve in school activites. Believe me when the time comes you will meet that special person and all will fall into place. Best of Luck!

Answer 9

Although it may not be maliciosly, she is playing you.
You need to go out and meet other people, make other friends, but not to break away from her, but because it seems like you are relying too much on her in your life.
She doesnt want to see you as a lover, but as you go have your own life, and maybe other relationships that may change.

Answer 10

You're not too young, but she is. She's sending out a lot of mixed signals. Just take her at face value and remain friends. Find someone else to be a girlfriend.

Answer 11

She was letting you down easy.. no question about it.. you gave her numerous times to say "i dont know" but instead she chose to say she just wanted to stay as friends.. dont pursue it anymore or she will become irritated with you.. just accept it for what it is and cut your losses... anyways i read it all and i appreciate the way you went about it.. better luck next time