I am getting married next spring and my fiances mother has passed and his father has re-married only a year ago. My fiance is 35 so she wasn't there to help raise him. We want to include her but at the same time he doesn't call her mom but does care for her and she does treat him like a son. We need some ideas on how to incorporate her into the wedding or what to do for things such as the mothers lighting the candles for the unity candle, the mother/son dance etc. Any suggestions?
Also, any ideas on how to honor his deceased mother? He was very close to her.
2006-09-20 14:12:11 · 11 answers · asked by brneyedgirl_4_u 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well to foster a good relationship.include her but as what she is, his fathers wife; she should understand. I would place a seat at the church for his mother and her picture at the head table at the reception. and you can skip the mother son dance........but play his mothers favorite song. Also a prayer before the reception dinner and maybe during the church service would be nice.
2006-09-20 14:16:56 · answer #1 · answered by answering 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There have been some very good suggestions for how to honor his deceased mother.
Suggest that you and your future husband introduce the 'new' wife as his stepmother, just as you will be introduced as the daughter-in-law. She is having a difficult enough time trying to fit into a new family without being singled out as a non-family member. Include her in the wedding ceremony and the reception.
2006-09-21 08:26:31 · answer #2 · answered by nonna_barbara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She can participate by reading during the ceremony.
During the party, the groom can have a "sentimental" close dance with another relative and an upbeat non contact dance with the "step-mom".....maybe while you dance with your brother or cousin.
You can honor all deceased relatives with a candle at the ceremony.
If you are printing a program, write that you are honoring his mother on your special day.
2006-09-20 21:30:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can still include her in the unity candle ceremony or a sand ceremony. Ask your clergy to help out there.
Below I'll list a site where they give ways to honor a deceased loved one during the ceremony. I would not do any commemorating of the deceased during the reception - keep that upbeat.
2006-09-20 21:28:46 · answer #4 · answered by weddingqueen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well for including her I would make sure she has a parent boot-tare.....but as far as the lighting of candles I would say no....and maybe a special dance but not mother son dance... and how to honor his deceased mother include her in the wedding invites in the area where it states the part about the parents just make sure it says deceased. and at the dance there is a country song "holes in the floor of heaven " ( i think that is the name) talks about how people in heaven can look down on us at all times...I plan on playing it at my wedding for my deceased grandmother
2006-09-20 21:25:41 · answer #5 · answered by ladysilverhorn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when we got married, we honored my husband's deceased father in the program & in the invitation.
i'm close to my stepdad & not to my father, so my stepdad did all the traditional "dad" stuff at the wedding. i had him & my brother walk me down the aisle because my brother is also like a father to me. then, because my husband's family wasn't at the wedding, instead of a father daughter and mother son dance we had a family dance where anyone in my family could dance with each other. that might work for your fiance instead of calling it a mother son dance if he doesn't think of his stepmom as his mom.
2006-09-21 14:06:37 · answer #6 · answered by ms v 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since they have a good relationship, I think his fathers wife should stand in for his mother who is gone. If its important she can be introduced as "my good friend, my fathers wife, who has been there when I needed a mother", something that honors her for being so generous with him. Life is for the living, and she doesn't sound like she's ever tried to replace his mother, but she certainly can stand in to do the "motherly" duties in a wedding.
My daughter and son in law, honored their respective grandmothers who had passed away by beautiful white roses in separate vases with framed pictures blown up to 8x10 of a sweet poses of them as babies with their grandmothers. It sat on a special table near the front of the room, and the guest book was also on the table.
2006-09-20 23:03:16 · answer #7 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My friend's mother died a few years before her wedding. They placed angels in memory of her. There was an angel in the chapel for the cermony and one on their table at the reception. It was sweet because in the program it explained the angels. Her stepmother was listed in the program also as lighting the candle in honor of her mother.
2006-09-21 03:20:55 · answer #8 · answered by mrslang1976 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not sure on honoring his mother except to hold on to the memories and keep her in your heart.If he and his step mom dont have bad feelings towards each other and she would like to ge ,you need to invite her.even though she hasnt been the family long it will make her feel part of the family,and she is your dads wife,and if she isnt invited he wont enjoy being there with out her.It is your special day,and your happiness is the most important thing,but think of dads feelings too,if he isnt with the woman he loves it will have an effect on him as well as everyone around him.
2006-09-23 00:28:09 · answer #9 · answered by hekler1873 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We included our step parents at our wedding. we had all the parents and grandparents walked down before the wedding party. the girls all carried a single flower, escorted by a groomsman with their spouses falling a step behind. they were all very honored.
i think you should treat her like as much of a family member, as you hope your new family-in-law Will treat you.
2006-09-20 21:32:58 · answer #10 · answered by Lesley C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋