Ok here goes:
I’m 15, this girl is 13: ITS only 2 years
A few months ago, me and this girl were really close, we would talk and flirt all the time, and this went on for a while, well eventually people started talking about us, being so close, and wondered if we were dating. She started backing off big time, and seemed like something was bothering her. Well I asked her to the movies, and she said idk maybe. I took it as a nice way of saying no. Well she told her friends she just doesn’t know, because I’ve liked many different girls b4, and she just want to see if I could stick with her for a while. Well months passed, and we got further and further away. I wondered why? Well she and her mom are REALLY close, so I asked her mom. Her mom said she was just really scared, because we have been friends since age 7. Well then she told her friends she just doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. It got to the point were I couldn’t stand it anymore. So I emailed her this about a month ago
can we please talk??
I've got to tell you something, because, well, i just got to know.
I really like you, alot. And it seemed like you used to like me. But now, it just seems like you are really really trying to avoid me. I mean, i know youve been busy and all with swimmin, but like since carrowinds, we havent talked, barely any , at all. It seems like you just dont care about me. I mean, i feel so confused, because, for some reason, you just stopped talking to me. Why? I mean, are you trying to get me to take the hint? Or what? I mean i really dont know what to think. Tell me anything, tell me that you hate me, just please please be honest. Remember that thing at carrowinds, guys cant stand when girls beat around the bush? Well, if you dont like me, please just tell me straight up. My feelings wont be hurt. And if you do, but just arent sure, just tell me. I wanna be there for you, I want you to be able to trust me, and be able to talk to me, about anything
This is what she replied
hey,
well first of all, I don't hate you. second, I haven't been avoiding you either becuase its not been just swimming that I've been busy with its been life.I also haven't been beating around the bush because you never asked me if I did or not. But I haven't ever thought of being more than friends with you because we've always been good friends and I think thats how things should stay.I just don't want to ruin a friendship.hope you've had a good day, and i will talk to you later.
This is what I replied
hey!!. thanks for being honest with me. I really value our friendship too, and if you don’t feel comfortable, because of ruining the friendship if something were to happen, that is cool with me.
Now to me, that sounds like two things (1) she doesn’t want to ruin a friendship, cuz we’ve been friends since age 7 or (2) shes just letting me down easy. But now she is flirting with this other guy, like she used to do with me. But she seems more comfortable around me than she did before. But when she sees that I am not going out of my way to see her, she seems to talk to me more, and flirt a little more, almost like she don’t have me anymore. And sometimes, Ill catch her looking at me, and when I look she’ll look away. And then sometimes, her body language, she just seems sad, like she wants to tell me something, or likes me or IDK what, its just she seems different since we talked about it. But I mean b4 she really seemed to like me, and IDK why she just would have stopped. , I mean I’ve like many girls, just none like this, When I wake up sheds the first think I think about, and the last think when I go to sleep. I just cant let her go.
My question is do you think she was letting me down easy, or is just scared, and what should I do about it? And please don’t tell me I’m too young
2006-09-20 12:20:17 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
omg too damn long
2006-09-20 12:21:51 · answer #1 · answered by slaphappy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry dude, both of you really are young. The messages you're sending back and forth are interpretable for people 10 years older than you, but I feel kinda stupid giving my sincere opinion to you because when you're as young as you two are, it could mean ANYTHING. or NOTHING.
In an adult girl, I'd say "BAGGAGE" but at 13 she has not yet begun to collect baggage, she's probably just repeating something that she's heard elsewhere. Or she's acting out from family issues. Whatever, you are WAY too stressed out about this.
At the very least, you should be cool. Relax. Firstly, if it happens at your tender age with this girl, then it happens. You've made yourself known to her. Now show her how cool you are.
I don't like her behavior, it's a big red flag. She sounds like she's getting into some bad habits with men. Either she's got a bad female role model, or she is having problems with the father figure in her life, or there's something else bad going on there. My thoughtful advice remains the same. Be cool. Inside your heart, walk away from this.
2006-09-20 12:31:22 · answer #2 · answered by Jerry 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me like she was letting you down easy. Girls are easily influenced, and even if she did like you maybe something someone else said changed her mind. As for her sending you mixed signals, that is what 13 year old girls do. She is probably confused herself. A girl might not necessarily want a relationship with you, but that doesnt mean she doesnt want you to keep wanting her back. She is young, and learning for herself how to start relationships, how to form boundries, and how to attract the attention of boys.
Maybe some part of her wants you, but another part wants someone else too. Given that there is a long friendship between you, taking a risk with someone who is NOT a life long friend is easier, because there is so much less to lose if things dont work out.
Either way, it doesnt sound like she cares for you as much as you care for her at this point and time .Maybe there will be a time for the two of you as a couple in the future, but for now it doesnt sound like its the right time. I know at 15 its hard to think about the future, but just consider this.... would you rather have your dream girl right now when she seems confused about who or what she wants, and have it not work out? Or would you rather give her time to find out what it is that she wants, find out that is YOU sometime in the future, and have a wonderful relationship somewhere down the line?
2006-09-20 12:35:16 · answer #3 · answered by theissuequeen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your friend is being a typical girl and just testing her feminine "wiles" ... I'm sure she still wants to be friends with you - but not more than that. Besides, it's hard nowadays to be such good friends with someone the opposite sex and have such a long history! You should value her friendship and not push the issue -- there are plenty of other girls like that who you can fall for and if a GF situation doesn't work - no harm done. Better than losing a good friend you've had for so many years : ) And don't let any girl mess with your head - if it seems they are playing games, get out quick. You don't need that kind of drama : )
2006-09-20 12:32:00 · answer #4 · answered by tinthelbc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know at your age that this is sooo monumental and all you can think about....but...both of you are way too young to be anything but friends. Stay her friend for life, when you are both MUCH more mature, things may change for the better, or you will realize that friendship is ALL there will ever be between you. A good friend is a gift to cherish, if you stay friends, you win no matter what. I wish you well no matter how this turns out and hope you realize these trials that you are going thru now are just practice for the 'big' ones that come later in life. God Bless!!
2006-09-20 12:30:44 · answer #5 · answered by perplexed 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In my opinion, she values your friendship moreso than the possibility of a intimate relationship. I have never been thru this, but others have told me that if you start out as great friends and then it turns into something romantic and if by chance the romance turns sour for whatever reason... so does the friendship. I would say she is afraid of losing you as a friend and by not seeing you (as in dating) she is protecting the friendship. Good luck. Try again when you guys get alittle older and see what transpires from that.
2006-09-20 12:27:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's my read on the situation:
She still likes you, but she's scared. She's not ready to handle a serious relationship. You may not be too young, but at age 13, she is.
Give it time. She'll probably go through a few relationships with other guys, but they won't last. When she's a little older and feels more comfortable with relationships, you'll have another shot. Presuming you haven't found someone else by then. :-)
Meanwhile, enjoy your friendship. Be her shoulder to cry on, when she breaks up with the other guys. And have fun!
2006-09-20 12:29:40 · answer #7 · answered by Bramblyspam 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok to me it sounds like she would like to be more than friends BUT she also would never want to lose you as a friend and she knows if you 2 go out as boy / girl friends and it doesn't work then it will be the end of you friendship- so she isn't going to be any more than friends right now maybe someday you can be - just DON'T push it or you will lose a great friend -- she sounds like a smart girl - that she has put a lot of thought in to it. be her friend you are both still young and have lots of time in front of you - you never know one day you may be boy / girl friends.
2006-09-20 12:31:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that she may have feelings for you but it might be weird for her because u have been long time friends..she may be more cool around you now because she knows that u are gonna respect that she just wants to be friends...tho the looks that u have mentioned may mean that she is sometimes wondering what would happen if u were to hook up...dont press it tho or she may distance herself once again.... and u said she is flirting with others like she used to do with u...she may not have realized that she was flirtin with u back then and thats why she isnt like that to u now...hope this helps ya
2006-09-20 12:26:54 · answer #9 · answered by drezgurly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well bud, I hate to tell you but she doesn't seem interested... When girls do that it usually means that they don't want to date you, for whatever reason it may be. They just seem to have issues telling you straight up. Wanna play hard ball with her? Flirt with other girls while she is around. Play a little hard to get like she does. That is the real way to see if they are just pushing you around. Get a reaction out of that and you will have her hook line and sinker ;) Good luck my friend... I remember when I was your age, it wasn't too long ago... Girls that age are worse than they are in their 20's and that is saying ALOT!!! :p
2006-09-20 12:30:42 · answer #10 · answered by Andy S 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok, Sweetie, that is a little long. I made it through most of it & here's my opinion, and remember it's just my opinion.
She is only 13yo. She's at an age where she's just getting out of the little girl stage and just entering the teenage stage, but a very young teen. I think what's going on with her right now is that she has the whole world in front of her, she's probably getting into different things, different likes & dislikes, just because she's at that age. Her young female mind is going through a lot of changes, you know, like a guy with his hormones. Think of it like this, less than a year ago she was 12yo, now she's 13yo. It's like yesterday she was a child & today she's a young "woman". She probably has feelings that she's confused about & doesn't even realize it.
Ok, now my answer is getting as long as your question. I know there's 100's, probably 1,000's of other people on here you could talk to, but if you want to contact me through my profile you are more than welcome to e-mail me.
Smiles to you!
2006-09-20 12:30:59 · answer #11 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋