My girlfriend is a virgin, and she is a bit apprehensive about us having sex for the first time (I am too because I know it will hurt her). I have two questions. Is it going to hurt her to the point that she can't enjoy it and I was also wondering if there is anything I can do to make it more pleasurable and hurt less for her when we do it? All suggestions welcome, no smart *** comments please.
2006-09-20 12:00:46 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
yes were both 18, i will use protection, im looking for tips though. I plan to listen to her lol!
2006-09-20 12:05:16 · update #1
And weve been going out for a year and a half now...we love eachother...im not the type to do this if i dont. im not asking you guys to preach to me. Thanks to all who actually answered the question
2006-09-20 12:06:33 · update #2
yes, weve done all the foreplay, fingered, oral.
2006-09-20 12:07:54 · update #3
Please everyone, I do love this girl, we are both consenting, Im not just horny. She wants this just as much as I do. She brought it up for the first time. She is just waiting for me to make the move. Please no more preaching, Im not trying to hurt this girl.
2006-09-20 12:10:43 · update #4
if you dont know already, find out if she uses tampons. is she does, her first time will actually hurt less, cause the hymn is already broken.
secondly, use a condom, preferably a notable manufacturer, and one with lubrication, if you know she doesnt have any allergies to latex and the such.
lastly, just take it slow. if your dates are on time constrains, you should probobly make sure you've got plenty of time. anything exta you do before the act will help her calm down and get into the mood. google foreplay if you need ideas.
other than that, you're gonna have to play it by ear. watch what she's doing, listen to what she says, and make sure she's comfortable. if it doesnt work out this first time, dont worry, it'll work itself out in notime.
2006-09-20 12:09:47 · answer #1 · answered by Spaded! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it all depends on the women and her tolerance of pain. It also depends on the man and the size of his member. If i was you I would just take it slow and ask her if she is OK. Some say that would kill the mood but i rather that kill the mood than get 1/2 way into it and you hurting her. Just make sure she is comfortable. Oh and have some proper lubricant available. It took me 5 times before my man and i were actually comfortable enough to get through it and for my hymen aka cherry to break. It didn't hurt like hell. You feel a small pop and maybe a second of pain and it is all smooth sailing after that. Don't be alarmed about the blood either. She also might be a little sore after. The number one thing to remember is You can't get your virginity back so make sure you are ready, THE BOTH OF YOU!
2006-09-20 12:05:54 · answer #2 · answered by mystique_dragon4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first you have to make her feel at ease. I would use a little wine to settle the nerves (if you are old enough). Make sure you have lubricants and condoms available. Just remember you will be taking something very sacred from her so dont have sex just because you are horny, do it because you love her and respect her. Never ask during sex if it hurts that would kill any concentration. You'll know when it hurts and you can continue or stop accordingly, also try Soft music and dimmed lights. Go slow and be gentle and enjoy.I hope you both are consenting adults?
2006-09-20 12:06:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time to have a good talk with your husband. For some background, I'm married happily for 13 years and my husband and I have a pretty good sex life, so I feel qualified to answer. I'd sit down with your husband and say, "Honey, I'm having a problem with the frequency of our lovemaking and I would be happier if we could cultivate our sex life in a conscious fashion." Marriage is like a house plant. You've got to water and feed it or it will die. And while sex isn't the lynchpin of the entire marriage, sex is important. We need sex for more than just orgasms. We need the exchange, the skin to skin contact, the connection. And frankly, you have a right to more than what you're getting. So does your husband. I think sometimes people are just afraid to talk. There isn't anything wrong with you stating that you aren't satisfied and asking your husband to attend to your needs as long as you do it in a loving fashion. You could also tell him that you don't feel loved sometimes if you don't think he wants you. And you don't need him to *tell* you he loves you. You need him to *show* you. If your husband has no physical need for sex, he may have low testosterone which is a treatable condition. If you husband has an emotional problem with sex for some reason, you could see a counselor together or separately. As a matter of fact, seeing either a sex therapist or a "regular" therapist isn't a bad idea just in general. You don't have to be "crazy" to benefit from counseling. EDIT: Others have made another good point. Going out of your way to do loving things for your husband is definitely a necessity. I give my husband compliments all the time. He is easy to compliment because he's such an awesome person. Do you tell your husband he's handsome? Smart? Hard-working? Maybe he needs to hear more of that than you're offering. And I know it sounds horribly trite, but a good home-cooked meal makes most men very happy. If you're not cooking for him, I'd think about doing it once in a while. My husband and I actually joke about exchanging sexual favors. I will literally say, "Glad you like the pot roast. I'll be expecting sexual favors in return later." He laughs every time. And he pays up, too!
2016-03-26 23:39:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice would be to take it slow ad yes it probably will hurt to the point where she wont enjoy it. Have you fingered her or anything like that or is she a total virgin? If you have fingered her then as long as you used more then one finger shes partially there!! Just because it probably will hurt be gentle and take your time dont just BANG BANG okay were done! Listen to her if she says stop, stop no questions asked. Just make suer that you try to make it as enjoyable for both of you as possible! Basicially be considerate!
Have Fun and Good Luck!
2006-09-20 12:05:51 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ Sunshine ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well good sex starts with a really good kiss.Give lots of compliments,like she is the sexiest ***** on the planet.and never rush a woman. make sure she is really ready and feels comfortable always ask,giveing her all your attention not like you are out for your pleasure but hers. Lots of forplay and hugging and kissing be gental and always be thoughtful to her needs. If you dont get a response your not doing something right explore any and everything you can think of while giveing her positive compliments do this and it will be an expierence you'll remember your whole life.
2006-09-20 12:19:36 · answer #6 · answered by Denene D or Dee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok well i just lost mine not too long ago, so i hope i can help
it does hurt the first time, and i had to stop him, he was very understanding and did oral to show that he was okay if i wasnt ready. we tried again a week later, and although it hurt and was uncomfortable, at least it happened this time. the 3rd time it still was uncomfortable, but not painful. i didnt enjoy sex for awhile to be honest, but every girl is different. it also depends on your size ....
i suggest takin it slow, my partner never took anyones virginity before so he didnt at first. be understanding, lots of sensual passionate kisses all over her and you'll know and be able to read her at the time. if its meant to happen it will!
2006-09-20 12:11:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
from my memories the feeling wasn't pleasureable at all. The pleasurable part was the fact that my boyfriend made me feel special. Try not to force it. Try to ease it in in a few different positions before you go for gold!! Just take your time.
2006-09-20 12:05:33 · answer #8 · answered by ccskitten 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would really say wait until she is the one you know is for you and make sure she feels the same way about you...dont try to rush into things just because you may think you love her, not saying that is the case
2006-09-20 12:05:09 · answer #9 · answered by Terryn M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it will make it easier of she is "really excited". I dont know how much it will hurt her, it depends on how big you are and how small she is and how excited she is. If it hurts too much for her.... stop. Go slow. I hope you are not real young. If so, maybe you both should wait.... use protection always!!!!!
2006-09-20 12:04:24 · answer #10 · answered by Michelle : 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋