What would you do in this situation??

Question

My husband and I borrowed $300 from my 14 year old cousin over the summer. He was working with my husband and living with us. We used it for food since we had seven children in our home...not all ours and sorta not by choice.

At the end of the summer his dad came back for him and his brother. Two weeks later he wound up in jail for having meth on him. Because my uncle is a convict the charge was a felony. As time has gone his bail has dropped from $45000 to $500. So $50 will bond him out.

So my cousin knew I got a grant last Friday and wants his money, of course. I know if I give it to him in full he'll bail his dad out, his dad will take whats left and go blow it on meth.

Do you think it's crappy to dole out $25 every two weeks to my cousin so he has spending money in his pocket while he's in school & stuff but not enough to bail his dad out?? What would you do??

Children, Youth and Families are looking into this case because mom has abandoned the children and dad is neglectful and physically abusive. If dad gets out of jail they will be in a potentially harmful situation. The social worker has h*ll finding them when they are with dad and its scary for everyone. Which is part of the reason we don't want dad out of jail.

Answer 1

The kid is only 14, right? You sit him down and explain to him that you don't want him to give the money to his dad to blow on dope. Tell him that you will give him money for his own personal needs for school and stuff, and that you just don't want to see him waste it on his dad.

Answer 2

U can give money to your cousin as for his father he is an adult and he needs to make his choices and you do not need to get your uncle that is on meth out of jail that was his choice and tell your cousin that you love him and will give him money but will not get your uncle out of jail good luck

Answer 3

You borrowed the money and you owe it back. Period. It's not up to you to decide how the other person should spend it, any more than the cousin told YOU how to spend what your borrowed. If he gives it to his dad, that's his choice.
But you should keep your word, stick to your agreement and show what it's like to be responsible.... at least he might learn something about keeping one's word.

Answer 4

I completely understand why you wouldn't want him to waste the money on the loser dad, but you "borrowed" the money, so you owe it. If you can pay it back in full, you're obligated to. Your cousin will learn what his dad is about in his own time.

Answer 5

I'd give him back his $300 as it was a loan and don't worry what he does with it. He "bailed you out" when you had a need....you should have given it back to him before now! OH...tell him never to loan money to his family again!

Answer 6

Let your Cousin decide , it's his money & he's been through enough already . That is just my opinion though Right Or wrong Tough Question to answer

Answer 7

You keep the money and tell your cousin when he needs something you will go with him to purchase it.

Answer 8

While I realize your concerns, you owe him the money - give it to him. You have no right to to prejudge the situation. You are not his mother or father - you have no control over the situation.
He loaned you the money in good faith. Give it back to him with love.

Answer 9

tough situation, but the truth is that he can have his money back.. what he do with it is his problem, you can't control people's lives....as hard as it may be....
each of us make our own decisions, whether they are mistakes or not. better talk to him and tell him your fears...

Answer 10

you are trying to make someone elses personal choice. he was nice enough to loan it to u and u have it give it back. repayment shouldnt have conditions.